PrncssAlay
Deinonychus
Joined: 17 Apr 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 321
Location: Midwest, Southwest, Northwest, California
20 Apr 2013, 4:37 pm
ArrantPariah wrote:
PrncssAlay wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
She's not worried about your fantasies or standards, but pointing out that being totally focused on the fantasy may cause you to lose sight of those high quality people around you. Attractiveness is subjective, so why put yourself in that category? Who would you measure yourself against?
On the other hand, "If you like potatoes you will never starve." I can't remember whose quote that was, some famous artist or writer in the 1800s I think, but he was referring to the availability of women.
I googled your quote, but couldn't find anything.
Maybe you just dreamed it?
I had googled it also, before posting, and didn't find it. It seems like maybe it was spoken by a character in a Balzac novel, and the quote may have been more accurately something like, "If a man likes potatoes he will never starve." But it was definitely in the context of describing the abundance of female affection which is available if one were to broaden one's viewpoint a little. I definitely didn't dream it because I have always remembered it (but in terms of the opposite gender in my case).
PrncssAlay
Deinonychus
Joined: 17 Apr 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 321
Location: Midwest, Southwest, Northwest, California
21 Apr 2013, 8:00 am
appletheclown wrote:
PrncssAlay wrote:
"If you like potatoes you will never starve."
Meh, I eat raw potatoes as a snack, peeled with no salt.
(in real life, and as in the plant, but I do enjoy tattooed women, strong assertive women all the way to so shy only able to be outside if they are with me women, tall women, short women, and virtually any cup sized women) Who says potatoes aren't delicious and sexy? 
Wow--what a fierce-looking avatar! Kind of reminds me of the descriptions of some of the tall elves in some fantasy tales. Does this one represent a specific character? Please excuse my ignorance...
21 Apr 2013, 8:38 am
21 Apr 2013, 9:06 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Apr 2013, 9:23 am
21 Apr 2013, 9:49 am
21 Apr 2013, 9:54 am
21 Apr 2013, 10:57 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What we're seeing here is a part of a male-shaming culture for having standards.
If a so-long-single woman (even she's not that fit and attractive herself and way of his league) is saying she wants a fit, tall and handsome man (or any other standard, this is just example), no one even dares to tell her "why not trying short and average males?", telling a woman to lower her 'standards' would be blasphemy! It's something we very rarely see in love forums or hear in discussions. It's not her fault at all for being single that long, it's that there's no such good men around!
But if a so-long-single man (even if he is fit and attractive himself and within their league), even if he's saying that he prefers educated, slim and good-looking women (or any other standard, this is just example) then he's being a shallow! Many (especially other women) would attempt to shame him: "why can't you like <insert some opposite trait> woman instead?", and make him feel it's all his fault for staying single because he deserves it! He's being too shallow! and he's supposed to be attracted to other standards. How males even dare to have standards! Males aren't allowed to have standards, they should be chosen by the females whom they find worthy instead, and that's it, hands down, he should accept the first one who shows interest and be thankful for even being given the chance too.
If a so-long-single woman (even she's not that fit and attractive herself and way of his league) is saying she wants a fit, tall and handsome man (or any other standard, this is just example), no one even dares to tell her "why not trying short and average males?", telling a woman to lower her 'standards' would be blasphemy! It's something we very rarely see in love forums or hear in discussions. It's not her fault at all for being single that long, it's that there's no such good men around!
But if a so-long-single man (even if he is fit and attractive himself and within their league), even if he's saying that he prefers educated, slim and good-looking women (or any other standard, this is just example) then he's being a shallow! Many (especially other women) would attempt to shame him: "why can't you like <insert some opposite trait> woman instead?", and make him feel it's all his fault for staying single because he deserves it! He's being too shallow! and he's supposed to be attracted to other standards. How males even dare to have standards! Males aren't allowed to have standards, they should be chosen by the females whom they find worthy instead, and that's it, hands down, he should accept the first one who shows interest and be thankful for even being given the chance too.
Part of that shaming is also the simple phrase, "ALL women are beautiful"... and if you don't find her attractive, you're scum.
I'm sorry - that's just another big lie we're being force-fed. Not all people are "beautiful" - some are ugly as trolls! ...and regardless of their physical qualities, people are attracted to what they find attractive. To be forced to call something attractive against their will is just a form of manipulation and abuse. Yay for that political/activist group.
Of course, if you're only attracted to a tiny segment of population (like freckled albino pygmy flamenco dancers from Uruguay) be prepared to be LONELY.
21 Apr 2013, 11:38 am
BlueMax wrote:
Part of that shaming is also the simple phrase, "ALL women are beautiful"... and if you don't find her attractive, you're scum.
I'm sorry - that's just another big lie we're being force-fed. Not all people are "beautiful" - some are ugly as trolls! ...and regardless of their physical qualities, people are attracted to what they find attractive. To be forced to call something attractive against their will is just a form of manipulation and abuse. Yay for that political/activist group.
I'm sorry - that's just another big lie we're being force-fed. Not all people are "beautiful" - some are ugly as trolls! ...and regardless of their physical qualities, people are attracted to what they find attractive. To be forced to call something attractive against their will is just a form of manipulation and abuse. Yay for that political/activist group.
I notice they don't try to make out that "all men are beautiful". Funny how it only works one way.
There are some ugly, abhorrent, vicious looking women, just as there are ugly, abhorrent, vicious looking men. There's plenty of both to go around.
I can find ugly women very attractive, and pretty looking women abhorrent. We're all different in what we're attracted to at the end of the day.
Tyri0n
Veteran
Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)
21 Apr 2013, 12:15 pm
appletheclown wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Stick to your own tastes in women - don't let idiots dictate what you 'should' like
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (means no matter how ugly you think you are, if someone thinks you are beautiful, you are beautiful no matter what)
And your quote, If I could have pulled it out and shoved in some of my friends faces (most of whom are still friends), I would love to see their reaction. No matter what popular preference is in women among men, I will always like my own preference.
As for the bolded, to what extent is it possible that guys themselves may force some amount of conformity on each other.
This is actually really hard. I have atypical tastes that do not match society's standards of beauty, exactly...
but am very vulnerable to social pressure. When I try to chat up a woman to whom I'm attracted (androgynous features), my guy friends typically try to discourage it. Then, as for the ones they pick, or introduce me to, there's literally no chemistry and nothing to talk about, and then I supposedly have no game. Conformity is a b***h.
21 Apr 2013, 12:20 pm
Tyri0n wrote:
This is actually really hard. I have atypical tastes that do not match society's standards of beauty, exactly... but am very vulnerable to social pressure. When I try to chat up a woman to whom I'm attracted (androgynous features), my guy friends typically try to discourage it. Then, as for the ones they pick, or introduce me to, there's literally no chemistry and nothing to talk about, and then I supposedly have no game. Conformity is a b***h.
but am very vulnerable to social pressure. When I try to chat up a woman to whom I'm attracted (androgynous features), my guy friends typically try to discourage it. Then, as for the ones they pick, or introduce me to, there's literally no chemistry and nothing to talk about, and then I supposedly have no game. Conformity is a b***h.Good point. This reminds me of high school 20+ years ago... a girl I liked wanted to date me too - but I foolishly refused because a couple friends mocked me for how she looked (significant acne.) Later in life, when the acne cleared, and to this day - she's pretty dang hot!
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Date who you want - your "friends" will just have to come to terms with it.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Apr 2013, 12:21 pm
21 Apr 2013, 12:23 pm
I'm not biting
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Apr 2013, 12:31 pm
Tequila wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Part of that shaming is also the simple phrase, "ALL women are beautiful"... and if you don't find her attractive, you're scum.
I'm sorry - that's just another big lie we're being force-fed. Not all people are "beautiful" - some are ugly as trolls! ...and regardless of their physical qualities, people are attracted to what they find attractive. To be forced to call something attractive against their will is just a form of manipulation and abuse. Yay for that political/activist group.
I'm sorry - that's just another big lie we're being force-fed. Not all people are "beautiful" - some are ugly as trolls! ...and regardless of their physical qualities, people are attracted to what they find attractive. To be forced to call something attractive against their will is just a form of manipulation and abuse. Yay for that political/activist group.
I notice they don't try to make out that "all men are beautiful". Funny how it only works one way.
There are some ugly, abhorrent, vicious looking women, just as there are ugly, abhorrent, vicious looking men. There's plenty of both to go around.
I can find ugly women very attractive, and pretty looking women abhorrent. We're all different in what we're attracted to at the end of the day.
Here some doubt standard typical scenario I often notice.
When a girl saying she was asked out by a guy she doesn't find much attractive and not sure about the whole thing - the typical response to her (From men and women alike) would be "don't ever lower your standards!", "you deserve better!".
But when a guy is in the same situation, the typical response (From men and women alike) to him would be "Are you insane, give it a try!", " Go for it!!", "go go go!" "What do you have to lose?"
It seems that the very idea for a male having the privilege to reject too is alien for many.
21 Apr 2013, 12:33 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's funny for nessa saying that, since she and Major are somehow dictating what "unattractive" guys are supposed to like and what are not supposed to like.
I'm not dictating a d*mn thing and I really think you're viewing my posts with a very negative lens. I merely mentioned that any man automatically deeming himself "unattractive" in the first place is really shooting themselves in the foot. I also can disagree with your opinions and present my own without demanding that you rearrange your views to my standards. Not to get political, but I don't see having a fair and balanced representation of opinion quite the same way as some of our major news networks over here. The point isn't to outshout each other, but to present many various viewpoints on the subject and maybe learn a little to boot.
nessa238: I'm a biter myself.
21 Apr 2013, 12:44 pm
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
nessa238: I'm a biter myself.
I prefer playful nibbling.
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