Girl dates me for being nice to her: Matrix glitch report.
Hey, I'm happy for you. Hope everything goes well. She got the opportunity to see that you were a nice, caring person inside - great.
Yea, but god help that stupid c**t if I catch her talking to her douchebag ex-bf again.
My sister did this. Dated the biggest douchiest boyfriend of all time who lived in my house for like 2-3 months, did drugs, was kicked out of school and had no HS diploma even, etc. After a bad breakup where he threatened to kill himself, she goes and dates a slightly effeminate "nice guy" who has very few friends, is fat, and has (comparatively) lots of money and a car.
So just so you know. I mean they're still together and stuff. But yes, this glitch can be encountered sometimes when you're young, but usually it happens more when the girl is 30+, has gained like 30-40lbs, maybe has a kid, and finally wants a nice boring guy who won't beat her or something.
Thankfully this is irrelevant for me because I look good now. I just gotta figure out how to connect the dots after girls are staring at me and saying hi. But I got like 80% done.
Well good luck, hope you stay together and stuff. Nice job on the glitch.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,091
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,091
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Could you explain further? Reading that, I sense a combination of absolute honesty (regarding 'predatory efforts' which you might confuse with advertising/'displaying') and confusion over 'non-consent.'
Maybe this is a semantics thing, or perhaps you see this initiation of a physical relationship in this context as leading someone up the garden path?
By itself, your last sentence without further explanation could be seen by many as worrying, and having possible socially negative implications. Once again, could you explain further, to prevent jumping to conclusions.
Yup - the guy sounds ludicrously over-paranoid about the issue of consent. I get that he doesn't want to be seen as predatory, but sexuality in essence is predatory in that it's all about people hunting down and fulfilling their desires. If there was absolutely no predation involved, sex would be completely dull and lifeless.
(This is nothing to do with the issue of consent. Both/all partners should be consenting at all times.)
If the woman is 99% into him and fancies him to death, but if she initiates a tiny amount of pseudo-resistance (like flirtatiously and playfully asking him if they really should be having sex because she is satisfying her urge not to be seen as too 'easy' - the answer to that is to equally playfully deal with the 'resistance' by various witty and amusing comments), he'll freak out and bail, upsetting and infuriating the woman in the process who actually really wanted to have sex with him.
I think "he" is actually a she (i.e. Einsteinologist is female).
Einsteinologist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Universal Mind
Hey, I'm happy for you. Hope everything goes well. She got the opportunity to see that you were a nice, caring person inside - great.
Yea, but god help that stupid c**t if I catch her talking to her douchebag ex-bf again.
My sister did this. Dated the biggest douchiest boyfriend of all time who lived in my house for like 2-3 months, did drugs, was kicked out of school and had no HS diploma even, etc. After a bad breakup where he threatened to kill himself, she goes and dates a slightly effeminate "nice guy" who has very few friends, is fat, and has (comparatively) lots of money and a car.
So just so you know. I mean they're still together and stuff. But yes, this glitch can be encountered sometimes when you're young, but usually it happens more when the girl is 30+, has gained like 30-40lbs, maybe has a kid, and finally wants a nice boring guy who won't beat her or something.
Thankfully this is irrelevant for me because I look good now. I just gotta figure out how to connect the dots after girls are staring at me and saying hi. But I got like 80% done.
Well good luck, hope you stay together and stuff. Nice job on the glitch.
...and the mods are after ME for "inappropriate posts"?
Your snobbish typicality doesn't belong on this site, "hun."
Einsteinologist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Universal Mind
Oh. Well that makes her paranoia seem even more out of touch with reality.
Just to clarify, it's not "paranoia" - it's based in the scientific facts of the current stupidity displayed in this thread. Believe what you want, but the most sane Droids are the most-easily antagonized. Teehee.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEolSjlcqng[/youtube]
A country conservative like those places, yes. Even only a single generation ago, people in this country wouldn't even kiss or hug until they were married, it's insane.
I've been working on it. Took a while just to get her to kiss me. There's been no shortage of effort I can assure you.
Shau, try this next time:
You two have already kissed. That means you can kiss again. Next time you kiss, use tongue. But very briefly so she can't object. Do it again, but do it longer and longer each time until she can't resist and wants your tongue.
After that, start kissing her neck and ears. As she gets into it, start kissing the rest of her body. You're only kissing, but she should be getting really turned on by now...because you're going SLOW by taking your time (that's one of the keys to great foreplay--taking your time to tease her so her imagination runs wild and she begins to beg). The fact that she's very conservative will excite her (think of the stereotype of how deprived Catholic girls are the wildest). This may sound like a lot of steps, but it really isn't if you focus on how she feels and how you feel...and the sensations. It becomes very natural then.
While you're kissing her body, you can use your hands to lightly feel all over her body. Keep the hands moving so she can't swipe it away (this is just her autopilot response, despite her really wanting this to happen). Once you feel she's getting turned on enough, stick your hands down her pants and finger her (with her pants still on). I'll let your imagination figure out the rest. I'll say though when you pull her pants down, pull down her undies at the same time.
She may resist while you're doing this. The key is knowing how to calmly and playfully persist without being pushy. As long as she doesn't say "stop" and she's not actually serious, you can ignore it and just keep going. It's just "token resistance." Most women do it as a half-hearted attempt to clear their social conscience. However, if she does seriously object, stop and give her a teasing, wise-ass remark with a smirk. For example, if says we shouldn't do this, ask her with a smirk what we should do. You can also be sarcastic by agreeing with her and suggest doing something really boring like playing chess or Bingo. This makes her realize her objection is illogical and what she's doing right now is a lot more enjoyable than the alternatives, e.g. chess or Bingo. Women (and men too) often say things out of arbitrary social pressure, but deep down, they really want something else. If you can show her that you understand her better than herself, she'll love you for it. If you're not comfortable with this, you can say something like, "I'll keep going until you say the word, 'stop.'" Most likely, she'll never say "stop," but will say other things as half-hearted objections (again, to clear her social conscience).
Let us know how it goes! Remember, you're giving her what she really wants, and she's looking to you to make that happen (i.e. a night of fun for the both of you).
This is amazing advice, if you're the writer for a Japanese H-pr0n company anyway.
Im sorry, i laughed for a good 5 minutes. Was this intentional?
_________________
Formerly I 80% N 85% T 80% P 15%, INTP, philosopher. Now E 60% N 65% F 90% P 15%, ENFP, ray of sunshine, unless i'm moody.
It clicked one day. I have empathy now. It has downsides i didn't expect. It's going somewhat poorly, since people tend to suck at new things. That's how you know it's true.
Last edited by LeLetch on 02 Oct 2013, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yea, but god help that stupid c**t if I catch her talking to her douchebag ex-bf again.
Who are you calling c**t? I am confused.
And what you are gonna do if you catch her talking to her ex bf? hm
Lolwut? I think this might be more sarcasm from Shau.
As for... nah... not touching non-consent convo. The glitch in the matrix is Shau.
A note tho, i think we do better with people from other cultures, as we do not identify fully with our own. Birds of a feather flock together.
Glitch explained?
_________________
Formerly I 80% N 85% T 80% P 15%, INTP, philosopher. Now E 60% N 65% F 90% P 15%, ENFP, ray of sunshine, unless i'm moody.
It clicked one day. I have empathy now. It has downsides i didn't expect. It's going somewhat poorly, since people tend to suck at new things. That's how you know it's true.
Einsteinologist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Universal Mind
Even if the mind is only "cooking up crap", the crap can not be uncooked as easily, just as toast can not be turned back into bread.
(Peanut-butter anyone?)
That is precisely why consent is so blurry nowadays, when children are coming into this world more aware of problems and more capable of repairing them than are the parents who bore them - and thus they are more vulnerable across the lifespan. That is also why over-simplifying the truthfully complex is dangerously provoking, harmful to the spirit, and severely trust-breaking - right down to the neurons!
I am forced to "overthink" because that is how I was programmed in the womb. Pardon any difficulty ascertaining.
Goodbye.
Einsteinologist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Universal Mind
Operating under the assumption that Einsteinologist has described consent beautifully, it should be made into a test.
I would fail the test.
Most dudes would fail the test, (women too).
A solution to overpopulation?
I got lost a long time ago. Consent is guesswork unless someone verbally states consent, then its still guesswork as to whether they are of sound mind. I ask for consent more literally than most NT's i assume. My social guesswork has an iffy track record compared to NT's. I think this discussion dissolved into a morality debate. Which is opinion based.
Opinion X Guesswork to the power 3 = Ugh, i dunno. And yes, i consider this a logical conclusion.
_________________
Formerly I 80% N 85% T 80% P 15%, INTP, philosopher. Now E 60% N 65% F 90% P 15%, ENFP, ray of sunshine, unless i'm moody.
It clicked one day. I have empathy now. It has downsides i didn't expect. It's going somewhat poorly, since people tend to suck at new things. That's how you know it's true.
You seem to be in the 'nearly all sex is rape' cult/club.
Predator, initiator, whatever - SOMEONE out of two people has to make their intentions known or no-one would ever have sex. If you make your intentions known, and you are rejected, where's the harm? It feels like you are ashamed of expressing your sexuality. Back off when told to, advance when allowed to, and all is good.
How can you be "half-raped"? That like being a bit pregnant? Or being slightly dead?
As a woman, you initiating would make you VERY popular among the guys here.
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