Is a career required for a relationship?
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,114
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Thank you blue bean, you've helped to confirm what I already suspected to be true. I was wrong to think that "working towards a career" is as good as having one. Many start degrees they never finish and there are no guarantees in life.
I was wrong to aspire to a career as a 27 years old. I should've signed up for uni straight after completing year 12 when I was 18. Nine years later it's not worth bothering. No woman would want to wait for me to catch up with them and no employer would want to hire a 30 year old graduate with no experience over all the fresh faced 21 year old graduates who don't have resume gaps.
I've already squandered the most important years of my life. I will forever be judged by how I spent my youth. Clearly I'm to old to be just staring in life. It would be fine if life had a reset button or a checkpoint but it doesn't so I'm toast.
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The days are long, but the years are short
I got sick of all the students on OKC claiming they're looking for a life partner yet show they're not ready by doing that thing that's the exact opposite of settling down (ie. travelling; every year is a gap year!).
I'm 31, I just earned my first batch of long service leave at my job as an accountant (10 years full time and counting) and I have my own net wealth and assets. I have no time for guys who have been on Austudy since leaving high school and yet only just earned their first TAFE qualification at 30 (another example of a guy I know). I'm ready to find a life partner and I deem them not ready, and IMO I'm too old to wait around in a relationship with them for years whilst they "catch up" to me. Whats so wrong with wanting my equal in this regard? It's not about the money or status (2 average wages per household is plenty), it's about having the stability, security and maturity to settle down and live a life together.
Have you considered going to trading and investment classes or seminars? It seems you would find your match at a seminar or class.
Certain people are afraid of anything that involves the words risk or money management, certain people are happy to spend their money on traveling, partying and studying humanities courses.
I got sick of all the students on OKC claiming they're looking for a life partner yet show they're not ready by doing that thing that's the exact opposite of settling down (ie. travelling; every year is a gap year!).
I'm 31, I just earned my first batch of long service leave at my job as an accountant (10 years full time and counting) and I have my own net wealth and assets. I have no time for guys who have been on Austudy since leaving high school and yet only just earned their first TAFE qualification at 30 (another example of a guy I know). I'm ready to find a life partner and I deem them not ready, and IMO I'm too old to wait around in a relationship with them for years whilst they "catch up" to me. Whats so wrong with wanting my equal in this regard? It's not about the money or status (2 average wages per household is plenty), it's about having the stability, security and maturity to settle down and live a life together.
Stability doesn't have to involve money though, and yet I get the hunch you wouldn't give a stable unemployed person a chance.
You also said money doesn't matter and yet you list 'security' as one of the desirable traits, security involves money since it is the security of knowing that you won't go homeless and have a safety net should things go south, that is all about money...
"It doesn't matter, but it does" <--- people who are like this want to mask an unfortunate truth. It's also very fitting that they typically have pretty good careers or are at a point in their lives where it benefits them to 'butter up' these unfortunate little truths.
Thank you blue bean, you've helped to confirm what I already suspected to be true. I was wrong to think that "working towards a career" is as good as having one. Many start degrees they never finish and there are no guarantees in life.
I was wrong to aspire to a career as a 27 years old. I should've signed up for uni straight after completing year 12 when I was 18. Nine years later it's not worth bothering. No woman would want to wait for me to catch up with them and no employer would want to hire a 30 year old graduate with no experience over all the fresh faced 21 year old graduates who don't have resume gaps.
I've already squandered the most important years of my life. I will forever be judged by how I spent my youth. Clearly I'm to old to be just staring in life. It would be fine if life had a reset button or a checkpoint but it doesn't so I'm toast.
Retrogamer87, why do you assume that the only way to an income is through academic success? Many people make money through trading, dividends, trends, property, marketing, advertising and small business.
I know several people who have started their own businesses and they earn a steady income from it, one of my relatives even started a construction business at 30 and now he is making hundreds per day.
Not everyone is suited for being self employed or managing their own business or finances, it can be a very stressful process but would you rather work for someone else or yourself? If you get good at scalping or swing trading, you can live a flexible life and trade from anywhere in the world.
Some businesses and websites even sell e-services such as Web design, search engine optimization, copy-writing, drop shipping, ad revenue and even newsletters.
You can't get every skill at a university and there are certainly other skills you could learn to a proficient level, have you attempted to do something vocational?
I got sick of all the students on OKC claiming they're looking for a life partner yet show they're not ready by doing that thing that's the exact opposite of settling down (ie. travelling; every year is a gap year!).
I'm 31, I just earned my first batch of long service leave at my job as an accountant (10 years full time and counting) and I have my own net wealth and assets. I have no time for guys who have been on Austudy since leaving high school and yet only just earned their first TAFE qualification at 30 (another example of a guy I know). I'm ready to find a life partner and I deem them not ready, and IMO I'm too old to wait around in a relationship with them for years whilst they "catch up" to me. Whats so wrong with wanting my equal in this regard? It's not about the money or status (2 average wages per household is plenty), it's about having the stability, security and maturity to settle down and live a life together.
Stability doesn't have to involve money though, and yet I get the hunch you wouldn't give a stable unemployed person a chance.
You also said money doesn't matter and yet you list 'security' as one of the desirable traits, security involves money since it is the security of knowing that you won't go homeless and have a safety net should things go south, that is all about money...
"It doesn't matter, but it does" <--- people who are like this want to mask an unfortunate truth. It's also very fitting that they typically have pretty good careers or are at a point in their lives where it benefits them to 'butter up' these unfortunate little truths.
She just wants someone that is ambitious and secure, it doesn't matter if he is a tree surgeon or a heart surgeon.
I know how it feels to be with someone that doesn't push you to grow and follow your ambitions.
Once, she gave unstable and unemployed too much of a chance (chances I should say).
She's not what you think.
You can be stable and unemployed though. Stability in its barest form is just a stable mind.
I got sick of all the students on OKC claiming they're looking for a life partner yet show they're not ready by doing that thing that's the exact opposite of settling down (ie. travelling; every year is a gap year!).
I'm 31, I just earned my first batch of long service leave at my job as an accountant (10 years full time and counting) and I have my own net wealth and assets. I have no time for guys who have been on Austudy since leaving high school and yet only just earned their first TAFE qualification at 30 (another example of a guy I know). I'm ready to find a life partner and I deem them not ready, and IMO I'm too old to wait around in a relationship with them for years whilst they "catch up" to me. Whats so wrong with wanting my equal in this regard? It's not about the money or status (2 average wages per household is plenty), it's about having the stability, security and maturity to settle down and live a life together.
Stability doesn't have to involve money though, and yet I get the hunch you wouldn't give a stable unemployed person a chance.
You also said money doesn't matter and yet you list 'security' as one of the desirable traits, security involves money since it is the security of knowing that you won't go homeless and have a safety net should things go south, that is all about money...
"It doesn't matter, but it does" <--- people who are like this want to mask an unfortunate truth. It's also very fitting that they typically have pretty good careers or are at a point in their lives where it benefits them to 'butter up' these unfortunate little truths.
She just wants someone that is ambitious and secure, it doesn't matter if he is a tree surgeon or a heart surgeon.
I know how it feels to be with someone that doesn't push you to grow and follow your ambitions.
"Ambition" strikes me as another one of those 'buttering up' reality terms, since people would typically measure ambition through you know what...
Though I hope you're right, but these are the sort of words that people need to read between the lines, because they're often used to put a thin veneer on something that would otherwise look carnal and mechanical...
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Thank you blue bean, you've helped to confirm what I already suspected to be true. I was wrong to think that "working towards a career" is as good as having one. Many start degrees they never finish and there are no guarantees in life.
I was wrong to aspire to a career as a 27 years old. I should've signed up for uni straight after completing year 12 when I was 18. Nine years later it's not worth bothering. No woman would want to wait for me to catch up with them and no employer would want to hire a 30 year old graduate with no experience over all the fresh faced 21 year old graduates who don't have resume gaps.
I've already squandered the most important years of my life. I will forever be judged by how I spent my youth. Clearly I'm to old to be just staring in life. It would be fine if life had a reset button or a checkpoint but it doesn't so I'm toast.
This is just depressive bs you're convincing yourself of.
While I graduated from business school at age 19, I was the youngest in my class. The average age was 28. The oldest student in my class was a 54yo mechanical engineer from China. Undergrads from the local universities tend to be a bit younger, but at the technical school I went to it's a bit more of a mature crowd - many of which already have undergrad degrees and then go there to specialize in something. Regardless, the average age was 28 and that was back in 2002. A lot more adults have returned to school for upgrading since, so the average age in the same academic program may be higher now. 27 is not too late to start on ANYTHING you want to accomplish academically.
Aside:
These are the social assistance rates here in BC, Canada:
http://www.eia.gov.bc.ca/mhr/ia.htm
For a single person it's $610/mo including rent allowance. Any earnings get deducted from their cheque - a disincentive to find work again.. which keeps people on the system to survive. I believe it's any earnings, anyways. They may be allowed to earn $50-100/mo w/o losing benefits, I'm not completely sure - but I know if the threshold is very low/zero before they lose benefits. Keep in mind that we have the 2nd least affordable real estate on the face of the Earth, next to Hong Kong, w/ Sydney rounding out number 3. It's extremely difficult for people to survive on welfare. People s u r v i v e, but that is IT.
These are the rates for those on disability (much higher):
http://www.eia.gov.bc.ca/mhr/da.htm
For a single person it's $906.82cdn/mo including rent allowance. They can also get additional money for special diets, and get coverage for medical/dental and various other expenses.
And, ironically, those on disability are allowed to earn an additional $800/mo from employment income without having their disability cheque cut. Ironic that they're on disability because they cannot work.. but are allowed to work and earn another $800/mo w/o losing benefits. Granted, there are many that fit this category ideally and having both a part time job and disability assistance affords them an acceptable lifestyle.
$2300/month net.. that's a typical working class ~$18/hr full time job here. Keep in mind that minimum wage is $10.50. The average wage, including all of the very high income earners, was $21.43/hr a few years ago. Skilled tradesmen (Journeyman) typically make between $25-35/hr or so depending on the trade. (and plenty more if they do their own contracting.)
I'd rate $2300/month net on social assistance as pretty damned awesome. I've had many full time jobs over the years that have not paid anywhere near that much. Over the last year or so I've earned a fair bit more than that, and recently just switched to a new job where my income took a big hit? not quite sure what my income will be for the next little while as it fluctuates with sales/tipouts (service industry) but it might still be more than that, though, & won't rise significantly until I earn a position on the bar or serving tables vs. working support staff roles. The service industry here pays exceptionally well due to the tipping culture in this part of the world. There are servers and bartenders here that earn more than nurses & doctors who are just starting out in their careers. But yeah, $2300/month for social assistance is HUGE.
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goldfish21
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Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Sweetleaf
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Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,011
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
You don't seem very grateful that you are able bodied and don't suffer a chronic illness. You don't seem to appreciate how lucky you are. I have a close friend who is married. He is on SSI as he suffers from chronic pain after a parasite infection he had years ago. Frankly, the arrogance and judgmental tone you display in your posts disgusts me. I wouldn't want anything to do with a person like you.
In this chat, he didn't mention that he was on disability. That's a different matter altogether.
Disability IS social assistance. Most people on this site who don't work are on disability, not welfare. In the US it's impossible for individuals to get welfare. It's strictly for families (mostly single mothers with children). If you're a single male with no children you can get subsidized housing, but you won't get a monthly check. Yet people tend to stigmatize SSI just as much as welfare if it's for a mental condition ( regardless of how hard the person has tried to make it on their own ). You coming in trudging around with the "mommy and daddy" s**t is pretty f*****g insensitive. I doubt you care though. You've shown yourself to be a prick. I don't even know if you're male or female, but you're a prick either way.
Why should welfare or disability be stigmatized? though I thought SSI was sort of welfare since its money disabled people who have not worked any significant amount of time get, unlike SSDI disability where the person has worked and paid into the system via income tax and became disabled also pays more than SSI. Either way there shouldn't be stigma for any public assistance whether it is welfare or other kinds. Also though individuals who aren't families can get medicaid and food stamps at least in my state, though I imagine its the same in most.
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Sweetleaf
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Age: 35
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Oh I have seen plenty of that stigma crap so it wouldn't be anything new to me but yeah a site like that probably would get a lot of trolling unfortunately. But yeah you never know is it a largish city? because I'd be very surprised if there are no younger females on SSI...now finding them might be difficult especially IRL because you never know what someone does or how they get income until the discussion comes up.
Then again also doubting I am going to find any guys my age on SSI around here and unlikely I'll be leaving Denver anytime soon.....but maybe there are some with part time jobs, or still living at home and what not that wouldn't care about me being on SSI can't help thinking this last guy I hooked up with partially had that as his reason for not wanting to actually have anything ongoing after the first few times.
I don't care about that kind of stuff when it comes to friend or relationships. it'd be cool if they had some type of income though but if i could afford to support two people then i wouldn't care at all a long as they are happy about it. I care more about, personality, interests, politics, and if they are a nice person. also attraction but don't mean super model.
you seem nice, though few of your interests tell me we wouldn't match well besides friends. I have had friends who like similar stuff.
so i think there's others like me plus the whole not caring what your partner does for a job is far more likely in men then women.
I don't really care about that stuff either, but seems like other people caring about it could make it more difficult for me to find a relationship, though I imagine if I was a male the being on SSI and/or low income seems to have more stigma so perhaps even more difficult but its not like males in a stable position in life are exactly looking for people in my position(not to say it never happens just not all that likely). I am more about personality, intrests, politics(in the sense of following issues and being aware what is going on and what things in the world bother you or what things you see as positive...but I don't like all those political ads, or debates of politicians both making a**ses of themselves) oh and they have to like music...and good music not the current top 20-50 hits on the radio currently or whatever.
lol also there is the distance factor, which adds to the not so great match there...
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RetroGamer87
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While I graduated from business school at age 19, I was the youngest in my class. The average age was 28. The oldest student in my class was a 54yo mechanical engineer from China. Undergrads from the local universities tend to be a bit younger, but at the technical school I went to it's a bit more of a mature crowd - many of which already have undergrad degrees and then go there to specialize in something. Regardless, the average age was 28 and that was back in 2002. A lot more adults have returned to school for upgrading since, so the average age in the same academic program may be higher now.
Maybe you're right but how many of those 28 year olds where there to get their second degrees? How many of them had well fleshed out resumes? I've done virtually nothing.
[quote="goldfish21"]27 is not too late to start on ANYTHING you want to accomplish academically.
Of course it's not to late, I can accomplish anything academically but whether or not I get hired after I get a degree is not a matter of academics. A book I once read said universities will let you do any degree without giving you any indication of whether or not you'll find work in that field. So the question is, does my point about employers not wanting to hire a thirtyager who's done very little still stand? Do people with large resume gaps get hired?
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RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,114
Location: Adelaide, Australia
These are the social assistance rates here in BC, Canada:
http://www.eia.gov.bc.ca/mhr/ia.htm
For a single person it's $610/mo including rent allowance. Any earnings get deducted from their cheque - a disincentive to find work again..
which keeps people on the system to survive. I believe it's any earnings, anyways. They may be allowed to earn $50-100/mo w/o losing benefits, I'm not completely sure - but I know if the threshold is very low/zero before they lose benefits. Keep in mind that we have the 2nd least affordable real estate on the face of the Earth, next to Hong Kong, w/ Sydney rounding out number 3. It's extremely difficult for people to survive on welfare. People s u r v i v e, but that is IT.
These are the rates for those on disability (much higher):
http://www.eia.gov.bc.ca/mhr/da.htm
For a single person it's $906.82cdn/mo including rent allowance. They can also get additional money for special diets, and get coverage for medical/dental and various other expenses.
And, ironically, those on disability are allowed to earn an additional $800/mo from employment income without having their disability cheque cut. Ironic that they're on disability because they cannot work.. but are allowed to work and earn another $800/mo w/o losing benefits. Granted, there are many that fit this category ideally and having both a part time job and disability assistance affords them an acceptable lifestyle.
For me I can have a job of no more than 30 hours per week and my earnings will be deducted 50¢ on the dollar, except for the first $156 earnings per fortnight, which will not be deducted. I realize that's a pretty damned awesome system. Next week I have an interview for a 20 hour per week job. If I got the job and assuming they pay the minimum wage of $16.36 per hour, from work and the pension I'd be getting a total of $3,180 per month.
I'm almost tempted to just live on that... but on the other hand, I could do a diploma then a degree while working that 20 hour per week job. That would give me a better resume by the time I graduated and $3,180 per month would be enough to get me through college.
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