Secret Crushes

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hehe i dont have any crushes right now!

would anyone here like a sweet looking 30 year old english designer to have a crush on them?? any takers? i am really quite nice

Just spotted mine on the way back from picking up a can of coffee at the store.

I've been living where I am for nigh on a year, and this gal lives across the boulevard and down about a block and a quarter. Blonde, about 5'4", long arms, rounded but firm and soft on the outside. I see her out my third-story window most days.

It's my surmise she's a schoolteacher, as she comes down to the beach two doors to the east of me and suns herself to a crisp every day during the summer and is to be found there on school holidays.

Always dresses very dowdy in loose-fitting beige or lime green polyester zipup shorts that don't flatter her and a gauzy top, and I see her schlepping down the sidewalk out front toting a lawn chair in one arm and swinging the other freely.

Also has a menacing-looking dog that's always dragging her down the street when I see her taking it to the beach.

She's very set in her routines --usually to be seen heading to the beach at around 10 in the morning and is one of the first if not the first to get there; picks the same spot in a highly-trafficked area of the beach, unfolds her chair, sheds the street clothes, sets her personal possessions out and bakes away for a couple hours.

She always walks briskly and with purpose, never smiles and doesn't show any curiosity about her environment by looking around --and man, you should see her when she sheds the street clothes for beach wear --phwoooaaarrr!! Also have seen her walking the dog after work --afternoon dog-walking times vary-- and looking a knockout in her work dress.

I get the strong vibe that she, too, is on the spectrum. I haven't worked up the gumption to talk to her, as I really wouldn't know what to say and don't have my heart in any sort of "rules of attraction" BS ("I've got a friend with a girlfriend problem and need a woman's perspective..." --yeah, right ).

I've never seen her in the company of a guy (although I've seen them chat her up at the beach), and I think she's partnered up (as it were) with that dog of hers. In truth, I reckon it about a 50/50 shot that she's gay; she fits the Suze Orman archetype of the "lipstick Lesbian," with her hair cut short but bushy, painted toenails and all of that --very much the lady, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that she's just not into guys. In any case, I do wonder if she's at all conscious of how totally hot someone might find her to be.

It's likely that I botched any chance that I might've had anyway, as I was hanging out down by the beach one morning last September trying to eat a lunch of stir-fried veggies on a bed of angel hair, and I got set upon by a hornet that landed in my food and, after I shoo'd it, it attacked me!

I had my earpieces for my cellphone in my ears (I usually pretend to be talking on the phone when I'm down at the beach --it's just a prop that helps me deal with reaLOLity), and I could hear the thing buzzing by my ear, really coming after me. I totally spazzed, started yelling at the thing and calling it names that I'd've done well not to say out loud in the presence of a stranger for whom I've got a serious case of the hots.

She was about 25 feet away and couldn't help but notice, and she seemed genuinely alarmed, although of course I wasn't paying much attention to her as I was under assault. I pretended to end my phone call and fled.

Anyway, I just walked past her schlepping home from the beach with that lawn chair under her arm. I was softly warbling David Bowie's "Fame" and, when I noticed her walking toward me, I started fishing thru my grocery bag and pretending to look at the coupons that I got with my purchase.

So totally would in any case --and no, I'm not a creepy stalker or anything (although I couldn't blame her for thinking so, as we're always crossing paths --but then, she lives a block and a half away and has a dog to walk at least twice a day, so why wouldn't we?); in any event, I'm not in the habit of bothering women, and I wouldn't know what to say to her anyway.

I've got a crush on one of my very good guy friends at college, he's one of the few people who seem to understand and his twin is dyspraxic; apparently he likes me too, but am in a muddle about it all :/