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Do Men with Asperger's Initiate Dates?

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cberg
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03 Jan 2016, 12:30 pm

I'd say a lot of this is about improving ones' writing... :lol:


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cberg
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03 Jan 2016, 12:43 pm

I'm in a similar place as the guy & it's really just about making sure we believe each other.


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Baffled
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03 Jan 2016, 12:49 pm

cberg wrote:
I'm in a similar place as the guy & it's really just about making sure we believe each other.


Please clarify. . . I do not understand what you are saying. Thank you



sunnchipie
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03 Jan 2016, 1:30 pm

Ive not read 95% of the replies so forgive me for spouting rubbish
but.....
could you briefly tell me what it is you like about this person, if you haven't already said so?
I need a rough idea of why you would be interested in getting involved with somebody who is frankly a lot of bother.


I don't know the ins and outs of your friendship but....
I suspect you will need to do all the running, at least initially. Literally organise a date night. I have no idea how odd he is so he might not be interested but if he is.... Organise everything. Call him several times to make sure he'll be ready, make sure he's going to be wearing something nice, pick the bloke up, do the lot. Make sure he is 100% sure of your feelings, make sure he knows the lot. Be blunt and to the point. Tell him you want to see him again. Ask him if he'll take you out next time. When? What time?

At least after all this, you'll know.



Baffled
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03 Jan 2016, 1:41 pm

sunnchipie wrote:
Ive not read 95% of the replies so forgive me for spouting rubbish
but.....
could you briefly tell me what it is you like about this person, if you haven't already said so?
I need a rough idea of why you would be interested in getting involved with somebody who is frankly a lot of bother.


I don't know the ins and outs of your friendship but....
I suspect you will need to do all the running, at least initially. Literally organise a date night. I have no idea how odd he is so he might not be interested but if he is.... Organise everything. Call him several times to make sure he'll be ready, make sure he's going to be wearing something nice, pick the bloke up, do the lot. Make sure he is 100% sure of your feelings, make sure he knows the lot. Be blunt and to the point. Tell him you want to see him again. Ask him if he'll take you out next time. When? What time?

At least after all this, you'll know.


Please read the story . . . we are soul mates on every level. During our last conversation he said that he was interested, but he backed out again on plans that he promised to make. He seems capable of planning/organizing when it comes to his priorities and himself. Like you said, when it came to personal (with exception of email/phone), he was late, disorganized and didn't follow-through.. What is this? Is it lack of executive functioning since it only appears to pertain to women? He seems to have fear-avoidant behavior. After 10 months, I cut everything off, and wrote him a pointed but loving letter (trying not-to-offend), but am sure he was hit like a train. I was at the end of my wits. He seems Black/White/Stubborn, so I do not think that he will ever contact me again. How do I remedy? Is there any hope?



cberg
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03 Jan 2016, 2:01 pm

Baffled wrote:
cberg wrote:
I'm in a similar place as the guy & it's really just about making sure we believe each other.


Please clarify. . . I do not understand what you are saying. Thank you


Well I'm negotiating a lot of big questions that arose out of distance, work & studying, as well as some unique language barriers, both in interaction and styles of thinking. I know a girl who I'm trying to help live in peace so I know that's exactly what I'm going to do. Given that I know enough about her life to want to help with it, there's pretty much just the one course of action.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


Baffled
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03 Jan 2016, 2:18 pm

cberg wrote:
Baffled wrote:
cberg wrote:
I'm in a similar place as the guy & it's really just about making sure we believe each other.


Please clarify. . . I do not understand what you are saying. Thank you


Well I'm negotiating a lot of big questions that arose out of distance, work & studying, as well as some unique language barriers, both in interaction and styles of thinking. I know a girl who I'm trying to help live in peace so I know that's exactly what I'm going to do. Given that I know enough about her life to want to help with it, there's pretty much just the one course of action.


Thank you! In this case, we both want to live in peace and we have both been helpful to each other.



cberg
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03 Jan 2016, 4:12 pm

My point is that everyone can always be more helpful!


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: