"I just didn't see you that way"

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Not unless they're conceited and misconstrue ones innocent actions due to vanity.

wow those women sound to me like psychos!

Spiderpig, when we reach a stage where you live in a world where you can't smile at someone because you're too afraid to just because you're happy... that's a world I don't want to live in.

What's the alternative? We live in a world where everyone's too afraid to be nice to one another?

I wasn't leering. I was being friendly. It was an overreaction on their part. I did nothing wrong and I don't appreciate anyone insinuating I did.

Once in Bankstown, I stopped to ask a Muslim woman (shop keeper) to ask if she knew what the time was. She had no problem with me but some old Muslim male who was just driving by at the time, speed in the middle of the road just to tell me, "Don't talk to the girls! "

I'll talk to and smile at whomever I see fit to!
Add long as I'm not being rude, it's a free country. .. perhaps that's changing. How sad!

had no idea there was such a large Muslim presence down under.

I smile at, and say G'day to men and women all the time and never get accused of trying to crack on to them. I think we can see what the issue was in that particular instance. Vanity!

"vanity"? how?

They looked like a couple of lesos anyway!

OOPS!! !

Vain creatures. Assuming I was interested in them!

They are not like most women. Please continue smiling, sir.

They had real problems.

Thank you Kraftie. It certainly makes for a much nicer, friendlier world

Yes auntblabby. Bankstown, Lakemba, Belmore... basically right along the Bankstown line.

I don't dislike anyone based on anything. I've always taken people at face value. When I lived in Sefton, I made friends with some Iraqis and they were some of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet (wild but nice!) That's how I got Boo.
And when I was sick, they came over and cleaned up (not out) my apartment and brought me food.

Anything to extremes is not a good thing!

But you get good and bad in all!

Back to the original post.

I guess the truth of the matter is: Let's face facts. Some people are just not attractive for whatever reason. You may strike it lucky and find someone you're forced to be with for x amount of time (like say, at work) and they see you're a nice person and they are such a person who goes for personality and can put aside their dislike of your ... whatever it is that's not appealing.

I've got to admit, even I look at some guys who look like Attila the Hun's backside with a gorgeous blonde on their arm. I often wonder, "How much money does he have in the bank?", but it does happen.

Look at those old, rich movie stars and pop stars who have pretty young women hanging off of them. True love, to be sure!

How'd I even get roped into this thread?!?!

Quoted for truth. It's a really nerve-wracking situation that can potentially turn dangerous. And a guy might be harmless and have the best of intentions, but it's hard for any of us to know that for sure. Too many times I have seen men change personality suddenly and become nasty when they don't get the response they expect. Even just a simple thing like not getting an immediate response when they say hello.

This is also why it's likely to end a friendship if you reveal that you want something more. It no longer feels safe to be friends under those circumstances. In the back of my mind I would always be wondering if they are going to bring it up again, are they going to try to kiss me or grope me one day when I least expect it, are they going to be harboring jealous resentment if I start seeing another guy?

All that said though, if I told a guy I didn't see him that way, it would mean exactly that. I just don't. It doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with him or anything he could change to make me see him differently.




First off think about what you're saying. "The closest I come is friends at most." Friendship is not a goal post on the way to dating someone. I believe this is why a lot of guys have problems finding someone, because they think this way. Whereas a woman is more likely to think, if I have a comfortable friendship with a guy, this is someone safe I can hang out with who is not going to hit on me or make things weird. So when you suddenly cross that line and say that you are in love with her, or want to date her, it will probably freak her out. It changes everything, and it can feel almost like a betrayal.

This doesn't mean that you have done something wrong. You might get treated as if you did, and I am just trying to explain why that could happen. It's a difference in perspectives, where a man might see a friendship as a step on the way to having a relationship, a woman may see it as a different category altogether.

Guys refer to this as being "friend zoned" and suggest things you can do to change it. But realistically, most of the time the reason why you have a friendship like this with a woman to begin with, is probably because she just doesn't see you as a potential partner. Women generally do not make friends with men they are attracted to in the hopes of dating them. I'm not saying it never happens. And sometimes feelings can change when people get to know each other better. But when a woman has deeper feelings or attraction for a man, she is more likely to keep a careful distance to avoid getting hurt.

When you say that women who go out for coffee with you are married or already have a boyfriend, this suggests to me that they see you as safe. I mean if they wanted an affair, they would probably hit on you pretty quickly, or else drop you if they thought you weren't up for it. Otherwise they are hanging out with you because they feel you are someone who would not jeopardize their relationship. I think this is a good thing. It means they see you as someone they can trust. NOT someone who is evil that they need to be protected from.

I know how much it hurts to get treated like a stalker. Especially when you truly care for the person and mean them no harm. It can really warp your perceptions of yourself and do your head in. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. But I have been on the other side of it too and had to completely distance myself from guys who wouldn't give up wanting to date me. It sucks either way. It's hard to lose a friendship with someone who wants more and then worry about what they will do or how they are going to feel about it.

If you have a lot of women telling you that you are not their type, I wonder if vice versa they are really YOUR type. You say you have asked a lot of women out and tried to expand your criteria beyond your preferences. Do you see something in these women that makes you feel they would be a good partner for you? I think if deep down you feel they are not really your type, they are going to sense that and they will probably feel the same way.

Maybe take some time out from it all to reflect on what you really do want in a partner. Think about what makes you see someone that way. I get the sense you are picking women who just aren't right for you or compatible with you for some reason. Perhaps because you believe so strongly that there is something wrong with you, you pick women who are wrong FOR you.

JUST STOP, EVERYONE!

This doesn't need reams of paper to write this story out.

SIMPLY

Some people are just unattractive - SIMPLE AS THAT!

Nothing more to be said! YOU'VE ALL ATTESTED TO THAT ENOUGH!! !

There's obviously an issue - It is what it is! DEAL WITH IT

SOME PEOPLE ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT OF INTEREST TO ANYONE!! !