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Feeling undatable

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Spiderpig
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21 Jan 2016, 7:23 pm

The question wasn't meant to have anything to do with entitlement, but as, "Since when is wanting something a reason to do anything in order to get it?". People keep saying there's nothing wrong with having never had a relationship, so you really should just wait, and wait, and wait. Why ever have a relationship? Better not, so you can keep waiting, 'cause waiting is so great. Wait till you die, I guess.

I'm not used to being in control of my life, so it's hard for me to think merely wanting to do something is by any means a reason to do it.


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slw1990
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21 Jan 2016, 8:03 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I think there's just something about me that just pushes guys away. I think there's some quality other girls have that I just don't have.


Yeah I've thought that before too...I can only conclude that there's something I am not seeing (that the other girls possess), either that or these guys want girls so opposite to themselves that they're unobtainable. ---Though I suppose I don't play 'hard-to-get' so maybe that's the problem (I never understood that game), but I don't think I act over eager either. The whole thing is like a giant brain teaser. :P
**If the above sounds like I'm lacking in confidence, then I assure you that I am not.


Sometimes I either feel too distant or too forward instead of being somewhere in between. It seems like the awkward introverted guys I like do want to be with someone who is the opposite because they seem more interested in girls who are more NT and extroverted. I'm usually not like this though because I seem to feel more attracted guys who are kind of similar to me instead of someone who is the opposite.



Last edited by slw1990 on 22 Jan 2016, 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

AuroraBorealisGazer
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21 Jan 2016, 9:15 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
The question wasn't meant to have anything to do with entitlement, but as, "Since when is wanting something a reason to do anything in order to get it?". People keep saying there's nothing wrong with having never had a relationship, so you really should just wait, and wait, and wait. Why ever have a relationship? Better not, so you can keep waiting, 'cause waiting is so great. Wait till you die, I guess.

I'm not used to being in control of my life, so it's hard for me to think merely wanting to do something is by any means a reason to do it.


Oh okay, I'm sorry you feel you don't have control of your life.



sly279
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22 Jan 2016, 2:20 am

slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I think there's just something about me that just pushes guys away. I think there's some quality other girls have that I just don't have.


Yeah I've thought that before too...I can only conclude that there's something I am not seeing (that the other girls possess), either that or these guys want girls so opposite to themselves that they're unobtainable. ---Though I suppose I don't play 'hard-to-get' so maybe that's the problem (I never understood that game), but I don't think I act over eager either. The whole thing is like a giant brain teaser. :P
**If the above sounds like I'm lacking in confidence, then I assure you that I am not.


Sometimes I either feel too distant or too forward instead of being somewhere in between. It seems like the awkward introverted guys I like do want to be with someone who is the opposite because they seem more interested in girls who are more NT and extroverted. I'm usually not like this though because I seem to feel more attracted guys who are kind of similar to me instead of someone who is the opposite.


I kinda think I should date a girl who's outgoing so she'd force me to be more outgoing. But I also wonder, why ? Because it's socially normal to be out going. What would be so wrong if I dated a lady and we just stayed inside most the time.
Suppose it's be much harder findi g someone who stays inside most time but goes out occasionally then to find someone who's outgoing, but I also feel me not wanting to go out all the time would cause a rift in the relationship. I dont know .

I'm not introvert or extrovert. I'm somewhere in between but leaning more introvert.

Other guys may be equally confused.



slw1990
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22 Jan 2016, 3:00 pm

sly279 wrote:
I kinda think I should date a girl who's outgoing so she'd force me to be more outgoing. But I also wonder, why ? Because it's socially normal to be out going. What would be so wrong if I dated a lady and we just stayed inside most the time.
Suppose it's be much harder findi g someone who stays inside most time but goes out occasionally then to find someone who's outgoing, but I also feel me not wanting to go out all the time would cause a rift in the relationship. I dont know .

I'm not introvert or extrovert. I'm somewhere in between but leaning more introvert.

Other guys may be equally confused.


Being introverted doesn't always mean never going anywhere though. It would just mean going places that usually don't require as much socializing. I don't mean to say that there's anything wrong with staying inside all the time though.



sly279
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22 Jan 2016, 4:30 pm

slw1990 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I kinda think I should date a girl who's outgoing so she'd force me to be more outgoing. But I also wonder, why ? Because it's socially normal to be out going. What would be so wrong if I dated a lady and we just stayed inside most the time.
Suppose it's be much harder findi g someone who stays inside most time but goes out occasionally then to find someone who's outgoing, but I also feel me not wanting to go out all the time would cause a rift in the relationship. I dont know .

I'm not introvert or extrovert. I'm somewhere in between but leaning more introvert.

Other guys may be equally confused.


Being introverted doesn't always mean never going anywhere though. It would just mean going places that usually don't require as much socializing. I don't mean to say that there's anything wrong with staying inside all the time though.


I like to eat out occasionally, go to a ball game , camping for s few weeks of i could, hikes and go shooting. I must not much for parties, malls, clubs, or bars.



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22 Jan 2016, 4:45 pm

You know what? I've been to Little League games, and Major League games--but I've never attended a Minor League game.



IvanAufulich
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22 Jan 2016, 8:04 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You know what? I've been to Little League games, and Major League games--but I've never attended a Minor League game.


When baseball season starts, go to a Brooklyn Cyclones game.


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sly279
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23 Jan 2016, 2:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You know what? I've been to Little League games, and Major League games--but I've never attended a Minor League game.

They'll not super busy or packed here. So it's nice. I don't have to shuffle through tons of people or sit next to anyone. One game went like 6-8 hours though. Fa i love you got irritated because I wanted to see who won.



slw1990
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25 Jan 2016, 2:13 pm

I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.



100000fireflies
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25 Jan 2016, 2:18 pm

slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's just monogamous tendencies. I do that too.


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AuroraBorealisGazer
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25 Jan 2016, 2:21 pm

slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's pretty normal. And it seems better than being attracted to so many people that you would go out with almost anyone. It's good to keep an open mind, but you should still keep your standards and never settle.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jan 2016, 2:48 pm

That's a lot better than liking every Tom, Dick, and Harry!

You're on the right track.



slw1990
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25 Jan 2016, 6:13 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's pretty normal. And it seems better than being attracted to so many people that you would go out with almost anyone. It's good to keep an open mind, but you should still keep your standards and never settle.


I agree. I just meant that a lot of the guys that I have liked don't seem to feel the same way about me and it's difficult for me to be able to like other guys.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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25 Jan 2016, 6:19 pm

slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's pretty normal. And it seems better than being attracted to so many people that you would go out with almost anyone. It's good to keep an open mind, but you should still keep your standards and never settle.


I agree. I just meant that a lot of the guys that I have liked don't seem to feel the same way about me and it's difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


Oh yes, I see now.
That always made dating tedious.



slw1990
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26 Jan 2016, 11:14 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's pretty normal. And it seems better than being attracted to so many people that you would go out with almost anyone. It's good to keep an open mind, but you should still keep your standards and never settle.


I agree. I just meant that a lot of the guys that I have liked don't seem to feel the same way about me and it's difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


Oh yes, I see now.
That always made dating tedious.


It's also hard when I think about them a lot and have trouble distracting myself. :|