Shale wrote:
Biggest issue I can detect here. A girlfriend...you can get one. Like a Playstation or a car. All shapes and sizes.
Really? Where?
I wish it could be that easy, in that case I would be having grandchildren by now
But I am kidding, I know they are human beings and deserve respect, I had been through that I was in love with this particular girl years ago, who I would have treat her like a queen, at least I thought I could, and she was with another guy, they used to fight a lot, and one day she told me that her boyfriend beat her, I felt bad for her, but she didn't leave him.
She was nice to me, she treated me with respect or at least I thought she was, and that is why I was in love with her, I was thinking of her all the time, later, I didn't know more about her, I don't know if they are still together or not.
I admired her, I thought she was the best human being in the world and seeing a picture of her was enough for me. Obsession. I believe she looked me as a kid, when she fighted with her BF she came to me, I think because of my innocence and being so naive, she saw me as her little brother, even though we were the same age.
That was the closest thing I ever had as a relationship with a girl, sounds really pathetic, doesn't it?
Those years I always wanted a girlfriend, I wanted to be with someone, but those desires and dreams were reducing with time, until now I don't feel the need to it, I don't feel the desire of having a relationship like I did before, my family tells me that I should be married by now, but I feel I don't want to date anymore, and is mostly because I am scared of people these days, with social anxiety is very difficult to get close to anyone, especially when it comes to looking for a girlfriend.
I feel lonely but at the same time I don't want to get a girlfriend, is a contradiction, I don't know why is that, is like a I am having a paradox way of thinking.
I see that this post doesn't have much of a point, sorry
just that, anyone else feels like this?