Are women's standards really this high?

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As hard as finding an invisible pink unicorn.

How can it be pink if it's invisible?

That's why it's so rare.

As if many people have a choice. I am sure many people living paycheck to paycheck would prefer not to. However, if you are "intelligent" enough to write for Cosmo, then you obviously are doing very well financially.

Most people live paycheck-to-paycheck in this country. People of all ages. That's just reality.

On OKCupid, in that little section that asks for the most private thing I am willing to admit, I have something like "Believe it or not, I actually dislike traveling. Apparently that makes me different from about 90% of people on here".

But yes, the type of woman I'm looking for probably hasn't traveled except with family (or to go to college), doesn't have much if any relationship experience, etc. I would hope she would have very different standards than someone like the writer of that article.

I don't like traveling very much. I would think that most Aspies wouldn't like it because it usually involves getting away from the structure of your life.

^that's exactly the reason i like to get out.

i've been living in the same house for over 13 years, same town for nearly 20 and since i got a car i've been trying more to explore locally to see things i have missed out on all these years, with some success. but it doesn't much compare to going further.

i think if my family was the type that moved around a lot, i wouldn't need to go abroad as much to take in new sights and experiences. every day here could be something new

but they don't. and so it feels stagnant.

what's the farthest you've ever traveled by yourself?

the two things that stressed me out the most would have to be not finding a place to exchange my money in graz, and not knowing if the final northbound bus through plitvice would come, after i had walked on the edge of the forest highway for two miles in the dark to the nearest stop.

besides that, i was pretty shocked myself at how calm i managed to be throughout the whole thing. i walked into my 13 hour flight to istanbul shrouded in dread.

the two things that helped me most abroad:
*cellular data roaming to access google maps
*polyglot populace

I think some people on the spectrum do well with travel to other cultures because we are used to feeling alien and out of place and of making social errors, so when we make errors while travelling it gets excused as foreigners not knowing the culture and is not as much as a faux pas as social awkwardness in our own culture. I think we can end up feeling LESS out of place than an NT person travelling to a different culture, because they are not used to navigating an unfamiliar culture like we are used to navigating NT culture. In that sense we have a social advantage when it comes to travel.

For example, there are a lot of jokes about insensitive American tourists that make social mistakes when travelling and aren't aware of their mistakes in a boorish unapologetic sort of way. We (as perpetually socially awkward people) are much more likely to be aware of our mistakes (because we are so used to making them all the time) and acknowledging them and apologising/compensating for them, which can come across as gracious and charming. It's more endearing when one is conscious of one's mistakes rather than blundering around unaware that one is being socially awkward, which I think is a trap many NT travellers fall into and end up giving their home country a bad reputation for rudeness when they travel.

agreed. the diminished feeling of culture shock is a big advantage towards being able to assimilate or blend in with the local mood and get along with the locals better.

in this way you're more of a "blank slate" when it comes to shedding the customs of your home country to observe the ones of the country you're visiting. it's a lot easier when you hardly knew them back home. that's how i see it

it was oddly relieving when i had as much difficulty interacting with people in stores and such abroad as i did back home. like i never left.

By myself? Interstate. The year before last year I drove to a small town called Kyabram in Victoria. I organised to stay at a guy's house when I got there.



A few weeks ago I drove to Melbourne. Not with myself. With a 21 year old girl who was less travelled than I am. Essentially I planned and organised the whole trip. I think that counts as well as travelling by myself when I'm the one doing the organising. It's not travelling with Grandpa when he plans and organises everything and I just follow along most of the way. I stayed at my great uncle's house.

I'm quite impressed I get what you're saying but one of my goals in life is to feel less alien. I've made some progress towards that goal but I don't want to start again from scratch.That's how people view me anyway. No matter how careful I am, when I make a mistake people think I did it on purpose!

My grandfather said he thought I don't care what people think about me. The truth is, I try really hard to not make social mistakes but I do such a poor job of blending in that an outside observer (even one from my own family) thinks that I'm not even trying at all to blend in.

I think it depends on one's home culture and where one is travelling, too. I have heard of westerners on the spectrum doing well travelling in Japan for example, because many of their cultural traditions mesh with our (AS people's) natural way of being (like making less eye contact and less talking to strangers in elevators and on the subway, because those things can be considered imposing and rude in Japanese culture.) So our natural way of being can seem to some Japanese to be more respectful rather than socially awkward, which could make socialising there easier for us. I could be wrong because I've never been to Japan myself or known any Japanese people well personally, this is just what I've read online of other AS people who have travelled there and have more experience with Japanese culture.

I absolutely LOVE to travel.

I've never really had much of a concept of "home." I still am not a stickler for having "middle class" type things. I can live from a suitcase with no problem whatsoever.

I moved around quite a bit in my 20's, though I settled down in one apartment at age 29.

I don't care about travelling. If I've got a friend who wants to travelling I'm quite happy to join them, but by myself I'm not all that eager to go anywhere.

I love travEllington but I wouldn't be able to do it alone I'm far too anxious and vulnerable I admire those who can