Slys dating site advice help thread.

Post Reply New Topic

Men and women aren’t the same. They reject them for other reasons. Not wanting a family, not having womanly hips, struggling with hormones. You’re only seeing what you want to see. It’s easier for women to find relationships. It isn’t necessarily easier for them to keep them.

There are a roughly equal amount of single girls out there. Maybe not in your town, but on average.

We have been over this before, but the XX XY table dictates a rough 50/50 split. We would have died out if that wasn’t the case.

Men will always be more desperate as they’re genetically programmed to want more sex. Watch any animal programme, it’s always the male trying to impress an uninterested female. If you don’t think you can do anything about it then it’s probably wiser to change what you can and look for happiness in other areas.

I hate western society, wouldn’t mind moving to a place like Mongolia.

(That statement at the very end was interesting to read)

Problem in society today is that it's different from 70+ years ago. I don't know whether dating for guys like they talk about it today was always happening, but I'd think men didn't quite have it as worse that long ago. Yes, there were other differences in that era too.

And with militant doublespeak that's happening in today's social climate, we have been programmed to accept arguments, one of them is the acceptability of men's desires about women vs. women's desires for men.

Again, I'm not sure if it's an exclusive western phenomenon, but we can assume that non-westerns are generally a little more "sense" in some ways.

I've had enough of fakeness, superficiality, obsession with excessive wealth, w*kers, technology and concrete jungles. I am actually planning at the moment to go on an OE to a place that's completely off the charts to see if I can find any happiness at all, because western society does not bring it. I yelled "Disgusting, filthy bastards" at the TV the other day about our species in general because there was a documentary on fish and other sea animals being caught in plastic, and baby birds dying from eating it.

Western culture is not great, but there are worse in the middle east where in some places women still have no rights, and the civilisation is archaic.

I don't want to go there. Somewhere peaceful with wise people, living off the land and respecting the creatures, immune to the horrors that developed civilisation brings. Mongolia is one idea, but they may not accept random white women trying to be one of them.

Never said they don’t I just said they hardly ever reject women over ambition or their income status. Most men just could give less about if a woman’s ambitious or how much she makes. I’d gladly take getting relations and having harder time keeping them. Eventually if you keep getting relationships one will work out it’s statistically. But if you can’t ever get a relationship it’s 100% guaranteed non of them will work out since they never even happen. And plenty of men have hard time keeping one too mean each of those women’s who relationships didn’t work out means a guys didn’t either. And it’s harder for him to get a relationship in the first place.

You don’t take into account that one guy could impregnate 100+ Women multiple times. Men aren’t needed in equal numbers. a few men can impregnate large numbers of women and carry on the population. This happens today ther d lots of guys with multiple kids each from different women. They might have 2-4 kids with each woman and have 2-8 women. Thus that one guys has made from 4 to 32 kids. Then there’s the guy who donates lots of sperm through out his life which can be used on hundreds of women. Men died off a lot in the past and the ones who didn’t made lots of babies. Millions died in World War Two . The population kept going non the less. I could impregnate lots of women if they’d have unprotected sex with me. My cousin has various children with different women. My brother has one with his ex but possible impregnated another woman.
My dad impregnated two women and had 3 kids with one and two with the other and that’s just the two we know of as he slept around a lot. So there goes your needing 50/50
No evolution meant for the strong males to reproduce with many women. The weaker ones are just meant to die off.

I can’t find happiness other where. That’s not how the world works one can’t shut off emotions or change how they get happy. I’ll just have to kill myself eventually. It’s my only future and what worthless weaker men like me are suppose to do well twith tech we meant to die in wars but technology has made that no longer possible. I intend to spend all my money on wasteful things that bring me tiny short happiness. I’ll just be killing myself in few years so no need to save money back.

I’m really starting to dislike women though. Only a select few are ok it seems.

Yeah they don't, because men and women aren't the same. If they were why don't men or women just date themselves, or split via mitosis?

You do get higher income men rejecting women who aren't very intelligent, but their actual job probably isn't as big of a deal. Men who have children willy-nilly to multiple women, and likewise women with kids with 5 different fathers are just gross in my opinion. I never knew any of those people growing up, but I was one of the lucky ones in a different socio-economic demographic. Most of the population actually wants a stable relationship and family. Not everyone will get one, as the chances aren't great anyway for anyone, and you can't force people.

Also women who aren't feminine or ideal looking are in the same boat as you, but they have it slightly easier as there are so many desperate men.



If you can't take your happiness out of other people's power, you'll never be happy. Ever. As someone with BPD who goes off at even the smallest abandonment, I can tell you that for a fact.

Have you tried meditation, or searching for a higher meaning in life?

I actually do feel really bad for you because your family sounds terrible and that would have handicapped you in life. A lot. If I won lotto, I would give you some free money, if it makes you feel any better.

So, how come we're supposed to accept that you're allowed to ignore where it's been proven that happiness comes from?

And that is, namely, from within. From our own thoughts.

A person cannot enter your life, flip a switch, and make you happy. Only happy thoughts entering your own mind can do that.

No, it does not.


No, we wouldn't have because previous statement is incorrect.

Happiness much like sexual orientation is different person to person. So unless you can become suddenly straight then leave me alone just because I don’t drerive happiness like you do doesn’t make me wrong. I accept people Drerive happiness differently but I don’t. Some people are happy alone living In the woods. Most people would go crazy, hence Alaskan living isn’t for most people. Others can get happiness from buying objects, others from hobbies, others like me get it from interacwith other freaking humans. I’m not an inovert, I’m a social person, to be happy I need to interact with other freaking humans, that doesn’t make me wrong or defective just makes me different. I’m really tired of explaining this to people. There’s not one freaking way to happiness. Your way doesn’t work for me. My way wouldn’t work for you. Many aspies hate interacting with others and prefer to spend time alone with their hobbies,o freaking love it it makes me happy, I joke and laugh and smile. Being alone is hell for me and other social people or extroverts, it’s hell. Unfortunately I was born defective and I miss social cues and say wrong stuff, doesn’t change that I derive happiness from social interactions of which relationships is a big part of, since a gf or bf is the closest person you can have. It’s the highest level of bonding, so you do you I’ll do me, please stop judging me and telling me y way of happiness is wrong. It’s not there’s no wrong way to happiness, there many ways to happiness and not everyone has to have the same way.

No for extroverts a person can do that very thing, all they have t do is hangou out, talk to use, that’s it. Something that comes easy to 80% of nts. They don’t derive their happiness from within they couldn’t live alone in the woods, they get it from interacting with there, it’s why they have girls night, guys niggsm sports, parties, relationships, it’s why they hang out together after work at a bar. It’s why most people have friends. Humans are social creatures we are not meant to be alone.

Also this is a big reason I ignore you. You’re like some freaking religious nut who keeps coming to my door demanding I convert to the one true way and won’t leave me alone until I do. I don’t believe or like your one true only way to happiness so stop pushing it on me

It’s quit common here. There’s lots of single women with kids from multiple dads. They “fall In love” guy turns out to be a as*hole who won’t change so they leave him only to repeat it with another guy. Besides not sure if I want kids it’s why I don’t want to date single moms. I don’t want to end u another dad in her list and hardly get to see my kid.
Humans reproduce via sex. Hence most men are straight. But plenty of gay men do day men much like themselves.

Do you mean they don’t act feminine or they don’t dress or look it ie short hair? I like such women. Short hair especially if it’s colored is a big turn on. And I don’t like big boobs preferring small ones which apparently flat chest women are seen as non feminine. And tomboys are hot. I can camp, shoot, play games with them. Sadly a lot of women where I live are very feminine ,mwear lots f makeup, wear dresses all the time, long hair and spend their time shopping for more dresses and makeup. Which nothing wrong with doing any of that. I still find them attractive though the shopping is boring.
Not going turn away big boobed long hair feminine women.

Maybe or if I found a gf and friends I’d be just as happy as most other people with friends and gfs are.

I have no meaning in life. I have no purpose. Most poor people don’t. Very few people will be like mlk or the founding fathers. Most of use aren’t destined to have a higher purpose. Most of use exist solely to make rich people richer. Been that way since beginning of human race. Just now they are Kings or lords anymore they are bosses ceos, cfos, etc. every single thing anyone does is to make rich people money. Are there any jobs that don’t make some rich person money? Nearly every single job is for profit. Doctors do what they do for money not to help people. Plenary of poor people need help but don’t get it cause they can’t pay for it. I honest believe once they have all the money or get robots to make the, money they kill off us poor and middle class people. Like the Matt Damon movie where they took all the technology including ones that can cure any disease and lived on a space station in orbit and left the rest of us to suffer on earth. Or that Disney movie with the robot kid. We are all just peasants in their eyes. Middle class people like to pretend they part of the rich.

If I win the lottery I’m goi g build homeless cities with tiny houses. If I win enough after supporting myself and friends and family, even though they don’t talk to me much anymore.

It's not MY way to happiness. It's been proven over and over by countless authors, psychiatrists, self help type people etc. It is universally agreed upon fact that thoughts dictate emotions.

All of the "ways to happiness" you describe are simply activities that people have happy thoughts while doing. It's their own thoughts that dictate how they feel. They do those things because it puts them in the frame of mind to be happy.

There are many ways to getting one's mind to think happy thoughts, but it's only happy thoughts that enable us to feel & experience happiness.

Social interactions can indeed make us think happy thoughts, but its the thoughts that enable us to feel happy - not the social interraction itself. The thought it induces & causes us to react with.

Once you accept this basic universally true concept you'll be open to learning that there are other ways to get your mind thinking happy thoughts than having a girlfriend.

edit:

And since you don't seem interested in taking any action to change any of the things you complain about that make you a less attractive partner, I'd think you might be interested in learning how to be content w/o pursuing a relationship. Seriously, you've posted similar frustrations for years but very little to nothing about working on resolving issues you feel constrain you from attracting a girlfriend. One can't expect to do exactly the same thing over and over and somehow miraculously achieve a more desirable result.

If you're happy where you are with work then there's really no reason for you to aim higher, but you also has to accept that some people might not be fine with that kind of attitude and that you won't be their ideal friend or a partner. They have a right to focus their attention on the people and things that suit them, just like you have.

As for the question about my godfather.. I'm not sure, I'll give you that. It's not like I can answer for other women after all, but I think that some members of the opposite sex would still pay him attention because of the kind of personality he has. Might not be the same women who do that now, but I'm pretty sure some would.

And a guy who volunteers does not automatically lack ambtion. Ambtion to get more money maybe since he could use the time to get more money, but it doesn't necessarily mean he lacks ambtion. For examble he might be ambtious to make his hometown a better place through his voluntary work.

I'm one of those women who'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't suit me... I mean if I'm alone I'm miserable, but if I'm with a guy that doesn't suit me I'd be miserable and would have to pay attention to his opinion on things and what he wants, too, instead of taking care of just myself. Why would I bother with the extra work if the guy didn't suit me?
For me it's more about personality than anything, but not everyone is like me. Some reject guys because they lack the kind of ambtion they want their partner to have and other reasons, including the lack of income that, when you look at it with logic alone, is very smart. A partner with higher income is more likely to be able to help you pay a roof over your head and food on your table than a partner with a lower income and is also more likely to be able to support you financially if something happens to you. Of course, this works both ways, but many men seem to think that only women think about money.

To entirely happy about happy but not a lot of options for disabled guy who can only work part time and has no experience and a useless college degree.
Some people? You mean most or all women. Yes they do and I have the right to consider them superficial and wrong.

But when most women say ambition they mean income potential. Like when they complain their bf with a office job lacks ambition cause he’s not getting promotions.
Or complain about pro bono lawyers for lacking ambition cause they work for almost free to help people.

See but you don’t know , you might find the guy does suit you and what you thought you needed was wrong and didn’t actually need. I bet most women with the right guy would be fine living off min wage. People in other countries don’t have middle class income fancy gadgets and lots of cars and they happy. But women won’t get men a chance . They like kids who refuse to eat certain foods because they look digusting but the food is yummy and if they tried they’d find out. The guy might take care of you ever think of that? Don’t judge a book by its cover etc.
Most men and women still believe in man being the provider. Quit a lot still want to to be or their wife’s to be stay at home moms. . Most men don’t care about how much or even off a woman makes money. They just don’t. Or there’s be far far less receptionists, nurses, retail women in relationships. They all make less then their hsnabds and bfs. Quite a few women at work have cars provided by their bf or husbands. Their bf or husbands work good paid jobs and don’t expect them to.

Most women are really superficial so are most men, just men are more superficial about women’s body but this is changing as feminism fat movement is and has worked. But where’s the movement to accept low paid men? No no feminist like that idea so they won’t fight to change it.

it’ll be best I die . Women will be happier with less worthless men talking to them or even looking their direction.

If I have to be completely honest with you, your job and income isn’t the reason I would not want to date you. It’s your moaning and refusing to try and find something to help you see life in a different way. We have exchanged photos and you’re not fat or ugly. That’s one thing you need to work on, your self perception.

Also I would probably hate your family but that’s completely out of your control, I accept that you cannot change that.

As I’ve told you before, one guy I dated was a university flunk who worked at mc Donalds part time, I dumped him when I was 19 as he was a whiny baby. One was unemployed, but also a w*ker and lazy (he had nothing wrong with him, he was a loser and I’m embarrassed with myself) Another one was rich, aspie ish but a complete sack of s**t so I ghosted him.

From your perspective, no women would have given them a chance except the rich one, who couldn’t keep anyone.

You have 2 years part time work experience, at least. College degrees aren't useless - even if you're not working in the field you trained for. How can someone be wrong about what suits them? I'm pretty sure they know what they like & what they're attracted to in a partner.

Yes, ambition usually means income potential - but that's simply because society uses money as a measure of one's ambition, work ethic, skills etc. It's the whole package that makes an ambitious person. Money is usually the reward for it.

It is true that someone could meet someone outside their "normal go to range" they're attracted to & discover they've met a better match. There is Zero Chance a couple is going to live off of minimum wage. Here, a full time minimum wage job is below the poverty line. It'd be survival money, not a livable income for a couple.

Most people have an aesthetic component to what they're attracted to in a partner, so of course they're not going to consider dating someone they don't like the looks of. That's just the nature of attraction. "The guy might take care of you?" How so? Not without any money to do so.

True, most men are still the provider type & earn more money than their gf. It is what it is.

Why on God's green Earth should there be a feminist movement to accept low paid men? That's not how things work. Life isn't fair. There are winners & losers. Survival of the fittest. To the victor go the spoils and all of that. In modern society, money is power & influence and always will be. Honestly, it'd be easier to figure out how to get more money than it ever would to convince women that their ideal mate is some broke guy.

Women would be happier seeing a guy with a little ambition & a smile on his face than hearing of someone's death. Guaranteed.

^My ideal guy would be someone who thought all my weirdness was cute and quirky and NEVER got impatient or lost his temper. His biggest asset would have to be not needing to impress other people because if it isn't, I would embarrass him. He would need to be able to function comfortably alone because I HAVE TO BE ALONE, fairly often. He does not need to have any minimum earnings or potential but he must be happy to share whatever he does have. I have no maximum limit either but I would not suit someone who wants to live the lifestyle that usually goes with it.

Are you saying I am one in three and a half billion?

Maybe. Also a guy that never gets impatient is definitely one in three and a half billion.

I'm a rather shy guy, so the vast majority of women just ignore me completely. I also agree that men should be the providers. You can get away with it when you're young like me, but once you get to mid-20's you've got to get your life sorted before you have any business expecting a girlfriend. I know I couldn't live with myself if I were just a burden on a girlfriend.