My struggles in finding a girlfriend

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fluffysaurus
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10 Nov 2017, 3:34 pm

I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'



fluffysaurus
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10 Nov 2017, 3:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Have you never had a woman ask about your past relationships?(ie job experience)

Yes. They all asked this.


Exactly

'There hasn't been anyone really special yet'
'The past is the past, I wan't to talk about you.'
'I'm more interested in the future'

just a few suggestions, but just because they ask doesn't mean you have to give full details, particularly at a pre-going out stage.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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10 Nov 2017, 4:27 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.



Marknis
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10 Nov 2017, 4:54 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.



RetroGamer87
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10 Nov 2017, 5:02 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Have you never had a woman ask about your past relationships?(ie job experience)

Yes. They all asked this.

Exactly

But they didn't react negatively when I told them.


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sly279
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10 Nov 2017, 5:43 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Why would they improve? And it won’t matter. Guys want a fun youthful sexual relationship. Can’t get that with. 60 old relationship and being told you’re get love when your 60-90 isn’t very uplifting while most people get that young youthful love from 15-30. Being told you’re never have the love you desire sucks. It’s why a lot of men kill them selves before 40

Funny you say that I see a lot of women who mention guy needs to be able to kill the spiders for them. So I don’t think most women are faking that.
Me I’m terrified of spiders and I try my best not to kill anything. So capture and release if I can. Kill as last resort but if the spider is in a bad spot or out of the way not harming anybody I won’t got near it. So any woman who’d be with me would have to deal with spiders mostly on their own.

Lol women are right all the time :p that’s the universal secret handed out by guys even if you think or know your right she’s right dont. Say otherwise just I’d and say yes dear.
Doesn’t seem to be a lot of guys who want to be right all the time or have a subservient wife. Not saying they don’t exist but most guys are under the impression women want to be right all the time or it’ll cause fights that land the guy in the no sex zone on the couch.



sly279
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10 Nov 2017, 5:45 pm

Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


They want someone who shares their religious beliefs. Who’ll go to church with them, who won’t judge them and insult them for their beleifs. It’s that simple.
Only the few super religious hold tru to the no sex before Marriage of the Old Testament.



sly279
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10 Nov 2017, 5:47 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Have you never had a woman ask about your past relationships?(ie job experience)

Yes. They all asked this.

Exactly

But they didn't react negatively when I told them.

Lucky you. American women will usually block or ghost you after finding out you’re a no relationship loser.
Meanwhile most guys would rather not hear past relationship status and pretend they’re the first to be with her.
True for me too I’d rather not hear about how many guys she’s had or what she did with them. Why do women care about a mans past gf and sexual experience?



ZachGoodwin
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10 Nov 2017, 5:49 pm

They don't Sly. Sly I believe they really deep down inside want a hard working man who knows what he is doing.



RetroGamer87
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10 Nov 2017, 5:57 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Have you never had a woman ask about your past relationships?(ie job experience)

Yes. They all asked this.

Exactly

But they didn't react negatively when I told them.

Lucky you. American women will usually block or ghost you after finding out you’re a no relationship loser.
Meanwhile most guys would rather not hear past relationship status and pretend they’re the first to be with her.
True for me too I’d rather not hear about how many guys she’s had or what she did with them. Why do women care about a mans past gf and sexual experience?


You think America's bad? At least you don't live in preindustrial Europe. Here's a quote from the Wikipedia article on bachelor.

Quote:
Bachelors have been subject to penal laws in many countries, most notably in Ancient Sparta and Rome.[3] At Sparta, men unmarried after a certain age were subject to various penalties (Greek: ἀτιμία, atimía): they were forbidden to watch women's gymnastics; during the winter, they were made to march naked through the agora singing a song about their dishonor;[3] and they were not provided with the traditional respect due to the elderly.[13] Some Athenian laws were similar.[14] Bachelors in Rome fell under the Lex Julia of 18 bc and the Lex Papia et Poppaea of ad 9: these lay heavy fines on unmarried or childless people while providing certain privileges to those with several children.[3] In Britain, taxes occasionally fell heavier on bachelors than other persons: examples include 6 & 7 Will. III, the 1785 Tax on Servants, and the 1798 Income Tax.[3] Over time, some punishments developed into no more than a teasing game. In some parts of Germany, for instance, men who were still unmarried by their 30th birthday were made to sweep the stairs of the town hall until kissed by a "virgin".


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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10 Nov 2017, 6:16 pm

Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


I didn't mean you, you don't strike me that way. I was referring to the guy who actually said in this thread that women are liars.



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11 Nov 2017, 1:46 am

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Have you never had a woman ask about your past relationships?(ie job experience)

Yes. They all asked this.


Exactly


Yes; not even an exception.



Marknis
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11 Nov 2017, 8:43 am

sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


They want someone who shares their religious beliefs. Who’ll go to church with them, who won’t judge them and insult them for their beleifs. It’s that simple.
Only the few super religious hold tru to the no sex before Marriage of the Old Testament.


They don't even go to church. They want the "reward" but none of the "work". Meaning? They think as long as they root for Jesus and God, they can be as "sinful" as they want and they'll still go to Heaven. Their religious front is a huge sham. It has nothing to do with wanting someone to share their beliefs with. It's just a damn football game to them. If they aren't going to follow the tenants of the religion they claim to follow, why even call themselves Christian? The Bible Belt is the most hypocritical place on the planet and I've lived here all my life so I know what I am talking about.



Last edited by Marknis on 11 Nov 2017, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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11 Nov 2017, 8:44 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


I didn't mean you, you don't strike me that way. I was referring to the guy who actually said in this thread that women are liars.


Do you have anything to say about my struggles?



fluffysaurus
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11 Nov 2017, 9:59 am

Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


I should have been clearer, when I said people want lies, I meant people I've known, NT's, I don't know any other Aspie's, and I meant both sexes.

Is there any way you could move out of your area, seriously, it doesn't sound like it's right for you. It does make me laugh when you comment on it though, I don't think anyone has used the word sin here since the 19th century.There must be parts of the US that are less conservative.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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11 Nov 2017, 2:58 pm

Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Marknis wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think a male Aspie's chances of meeting someone who appreciates them would increase with age because what women want changes as they mature.

I eat healthy and I'm not overweight and apparently it's that easy. No, what a woman really needs is the ability to say 'Oh, your so clever and wonderful.' 'Your always right' 'Ahhhh! it's a spider! save me, save me!' in a convincing manner. Thus, I am single, I'm a s**t liar.

A lot of women do deceive themselves and very annoying it is too but I hardly think it's typical of the women on this site who possibly like me have had a lifetime of being accused of not having any feelings because they've told people the truth when that person has begged them for it, not realising that 'tell me the truth' actually means 'please lie to me.'


Exactly--men say they want women who don't lie, but when they actually encounter women that don't lie they realize they don't actually want women to tell them the truth because they don't want to hear the truth from us and then they hate us for being truthful, or they choose not to believe us and just assume we are lying about everything because we are women. We just can't win whether we are honest or not.


I don't think like that at all. I'd rather be with someone authentic over someone who is fake any day.

A lot of women in the Bible Belt want to be with only Christian men, even if they are open to pre-marital sex. I've actually been rejected by someone who said that it was bad I wasn't Christian but she was having pre-marital sex with guys who called themselves Christian. How screwed up is that? The Bible Belt tries to put on a moral and upright guise when it's extremely "sinful" in reality.
Some guys might tell me "Just call yourself a Christian, dude!" but if the girl found out I wasn't telling the truth, I would get kicked to the curb by her.


I didn't mean you, you don't strike me that way. I was referring to the guy who actually said in this thread that women are liars.


Do you have anything to say about my struggles?


If you want my honest opinion, I think you are unhealthily obsessed with acquiring a girlfriend when your life circumstances make that nearly impossible. I think all you can do is treat the obsession or change your circumstances. It seems like for now changing your circumstances (like moving to a new area) is not possible, so you should work on treating the obsession. I think you said you see a therapist, what has this therapist done to help shift your hyperfocus to something other than relationships? They should be helping you learn to think about other things and not focus on this one issue exclusively to the detriment of your mental health. Is it possible you have a comorbid condition like OCD that is contributing to this obsessive focus on getting a girlfriend?

Honestly, I don't think making all these threads on the same topic helps you, either. You're just stewing. You need to find a way to focus on something else. It's like you've made dating your special interest, except you can't go on dates so your interest is thwarted and has become this unhealthy obsession. You need to move on to something else that doesn't make you so unhappy to think about. Focus your interest on something that you can actually do and that makes you happy or stew in this obsessive unhappiness forever, it's up to you really.