How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

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Sabreclaw
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22 Nov 2017, 6:41 pm

Fireblossom wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Why does being flirty and cute have to come at the cost of intelligence? I like smart women. Only problem is smart women don't date idiots like me.

Out of curiosity: what makes you think you're an idiot? Are you lowly educated? Don't always understand things other people think is common sense? Simply have a weak general education? Something else?

...All of the above?

I tend to be a slow thinker and my mind is somewhat niche; focusing on mathematics, computer stuff, you know, though I'm far from a leader in my field. Also I'm hopeless at socializing. So yeah, I don't feel particularly bright.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2017, 7:03 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

That’s the norm. Most guys love dumb girls who are flirty and cute. They love them. I don’t know, but I think a lot of men’s egos get dented if a woman is smarter than or earns more than them.

Maybe it’s genetic? Many guys like dumb, helpless women, and many women like smart, self sufficient men.

There are people who just want equals. I am one of those.

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

Closet Genious
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22 Nov 2017, 8:13 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

I agree with you boo.

I want to add to that, that we run into the hypergamy issue once again. I don't think many women want a partner who is dumber than themselves.

kraftiekortie
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22 Nov 2017, 8:33 pm

I wouldn't want to be blatantly dumber than my partner. That's for sure.

Cat23
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22 Nov 2017, 10:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I wouldn't want to be blatantly dumber than my partner. That's for sure.

I would love to be! Difference of the sexes maybe?

Cat23
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22 Nov 2017, 10:51 pm

[quote="hale_bopp"]That’s the norm. Most guys love dumb girls who are flirty and cute. They love them. I don’t know, but I think a lot of men’s egos get dented if a woman is smarter than or earns more than them.

Maybe it’s genetic? Many guys like dumb, helpless women, and many women like smart, self sufficient men.

There are people who just want equals. I am one of those.

I totally agree men like women who flirt....but that’s cause no one likes rejection right?

I’ve studied 2 women at work and the one who wears the tight clothes and accentuates her accent (she’s a Russian) and poofs up her hair definitely gets more dates she’s been engaged twice despite having a 12 year old kid in the last couple of years she’s over 40 where my quite genuine honest, reliable, hardworking friend no as much even though she’s better looking and younger same grade basically same $.

Outrider
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23 Nov 2017, 9:46 pm

See I'm surprised other people actually think about this stuff.

Aside from the obviously mentally challenged, I don't ever think of anyone as "smarter" or "dumber" than me. What would be the point?

Yeah there's people who's views on something may she ignorant or we disagree but they're not "stupid".

The idea of having a girlfriend who THINKS she's smarter than me makes me uncomfortable.

Even if "she really is" I wouldn't want her to bring it up. What would be the point?

Maybe I am insecure. Whatever.

But what I'm saying is I assume 95% of adults in my life are equal intelligence give or take. Maybe some slightly smarter some slightly less but in insignificant amounts.

I would just assume a girlfriend I get is equal Intelligence and never, ever think about it.

Yeah if she appears to be full of "dumb ideas" I might think her way of thinking is "silly" but I wouldn't think she's less intelligent than me.

People who self-identify as intelligent often seem arrogant from my point of view.

I'd go as far to say people who try to guess a partners intelligence and are absolutely certain they're more intelligent than their partner are behaving like childish idiots.

hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2017, 2:29 am

fluffysaurus wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Before the idea of going for an ASD assessment come up, I had resigned myself to the idea that I didn't have the gene that makes a person lovable, by anyone. I can even be flirty, with a lot of effort, and there are plenty of people less cute who are able to inspire love. I'm still not sure what it is that makes others lovable, but I think it's a sort of vulnerability projection. Does that make sense?

It’s a certain scattiness which often comes with younger women. It’s where the term “airhead” comes from, as these girls are immature and sexual and cute but not book smart. I shouldn’t generalise, there might be some with above average intelligence, but thinkers tend to brood more than giggle and tweak their hair. Guys tend to love it. As I can only flirt if I force it, I tend to have to go for a different sort of man, with above average intelligence and lack of sleaziness, which is fine. Being a bad match is way worse than being single.

hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2017, 2:37 am

sly279 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Is it the guys and their egos? Or is it women won’t date guys dumber then them? Seems like income women want a guy as smart as them or smarter. But that only works if guys want women dumber cause if north thought that way then they only be able to date someone equally as smart. And it’s pretty hard to find someone who is 100% as smart or someone who makes the exact same as you. Life isn’t so neat. Wish more men would take women’s standards and not date any women who make less or are even slightly less smart then them.

There’s no equals. It’s impossible. Either you’re be slightly smarter then your bf or he’ll be slightly smarter then you. The possibility of finding someone who’s eually as smart in every subject you are is impossible. He might be better at math while your better at grammar etc. you’re not equally smart. It’s a pipe dream many women will realize when they’re 60 old and still single waiting for mr perfect.

I’ll gladly date a woman who makes more then me or is smarter. I’ll also gladly date one who’s dumber or makes less or nothing even. I don’t care. I care about her personality and if we get along that’s it. And in my opinion that’s all that freaking matters.
Want to have intellectual conversations about physics go to a physics club. You don’t have to share everything with your spouse,
I don’t expect any woman to share my interests in guns, coins, history, shaving, video games. I have people do
share that with.

Do I just not have a ego? If so I wish no. One did, doesn’t seem to do anyone any good.

When I said “equal”, I didn’t mean literally. It was a ball park figure.
Equal is a similar mindset, similar sense of humour, goals and tastes.

I don’t care what a guy earns. If he’s attractive to me, has similar humour, goals and way of thinking, that’s all I care about.

hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2017, 2:42 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

Fireblossom wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

Why does being flirty and cute have to come at the cost of intelligence? I like smart women. Only problem is smart women don't date idiots like me.

You sound intelligent.

hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2017, 2:43 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

There’s actually an entire fetish based on that.

Fireblossom
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24 Nov 2017, 1:48 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

I don’t care what a guy earns. If he’s attractive to me, has similar humour, goals and way of thinking, that’s all I care about.

Even if that guy was permanently disabled and could never get any kind of job because of it? Would you be ready to support someone like that financially and emotionally for the rest of your life?

hale_bopp
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24 Nov 2017, 2:53 pm

Fireblossom wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I don’t care what a guy earns. If he’s attractive to me, has similar humour, goals and way of thinking, that’s all I care about.

Even if that guy was permanently disabled and could never get any kind of job because of it? Would you be ready to support someone like that financially and emotionally for the rest of your life?

It really depends on the situation. If he ended up in a wheelchair and couldn’t do things, if you love them, you make it work.

If it was aspergers, probably not. It’s unlikely I would match with someone low functioning based on different mindset and goals, and a high functioning person I probably wouldn’t class as “permanently disabled”. Hard life, yes. Struggles, yes. But capable.

RetroGamer87
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24 Nov 2017, 8:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

I like smart women. I would looove to date a scientist! :heart:

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sly279
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25 Nov 2017, 5:00 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

I like smart women. I would looove to date a scientist! :heart:

Why? She’s think you’re an idiot for not understanding her field and being able to carry on in depth conversations about it. I’d hate to be considered stupid bout a gf.
Most women are rather ignorant(not stupid) about guns. Wouldn’t bother me. I’d just educate them on the subject.

RetroGamer87
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25 Nov 2017, 5:59 am

sly279 wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

No.

It just happens that so many proclaimed smart women are bitchy.

No man loves bitchy women.

Smart = ok, it’s nice.

Bitchy = avoid at all cost.

I like smart women. I would looove to date a scientist! :heart:

I'm sure scientists know that most other people aren't scientists.

It's like, when you go to see the doctor, does he belittle you for not being a doctor?

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