A girlfriend is not a lost puppy.

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Memorizing every NT rule isn't what I've suggested. I've suggested getting your body and brain functioning in a way that works for you, not against you, and in turn many ASD symptoms are greatly diminished and NT rules come naturally vs. forced.

5+ years ago, a year or so after being on this forum with strong symptoms of my own, I posted and told everyone here what was causing the symptoms found in this book:



And how I managed to treat them with - what I said then, and maintain now - miraculous success. Medical info stats than & now dictate that this is the cause of, and probable treatment for, 70% of ASD cases. There have been several people who've communicated with me about this stuff via pm & email, but it's still bizarre to me that very few want to even attempt anything I have in order to heal themselves and live happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives with their ASD symptoms under control.

Here's the medical study that corroborates everything I learned and shared here on WP 5+ years ago, right down to a chemical sensitivity that in my personal experience was responsible for major depression, anxiety, audio sensitivity, executive functioning problems etc. Other factors have made a life changing impact on all the rest of my symptoms. Anyways, here's the study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5408485/

I have never ever said ASD can be "cured." Ever. It's not that black and white. What I do is an effective treatment protocol, not a cure. And it's not garbage. This is science. This is medicine. The doctors who wrote this study hypothesized at the end of it that based on their collective knowledge of ASD in this study, which draws info from 137 previous studies vs. being a brand new study itself, that there may be a simple, cost effective, treatment possible in the future. Meanwhile, in goldfish's reality, I've already been doing for 5+ years what they think might be able to be done in the future & I've shared it freely here for the last 5+ years for the 70% (that's how many on the spectrum have this particular chemical sensitivity, and I know what causes it, so the science holds up) of us on the spectrum that this can help.. but very, VERY, few here are interested in helping themselves vs. either complaining, or accepting. It seems some just want to complain and never do anything to help themselves, and others are very content with the way they are or don't view ASD as an ailment that can or should be treated. That's fine, I suppose, especially if ASD is not negatively impacting your life in ways you wish you could improve.. but for the complainers? Makes less than zero sense to me that they wouldn't want to do anything they could about it. But that's me - there's NO WAY that I was going to accept my life being as over as it was 6 years ago for the rest of my natural life. NONE. I Knew that I wasn't always that bad, and that if something could make it worse, something could make it better.. all I had to do was figure out what it was and what to do about it - and I did, and shared here, and it fell largely on deaf ears to people who thought I was lying, or it was a hoax etc. Nope. Not at all. Here we are 5 years later and I work, live, and play in the social world while others struggle. At least now this study exists to corroborate everything I learned and shared and more and more people will realize I'm as serious as a heart attack about all of this stuff & it's not Fake News in the least bit.

A chemical sensitivity, and gut dysbiosis etc, explains the biochemical cause of ASD symptoms.. which in turn causes the problems ASD people have in relationships, yes. Treating these things and minimizing ASD symptoms results in significantly higher functioning levels and feeling more socially connected than ever (I know, because I've been doing this for over 5 years now) which would make being in a relationship ever easier for people on the spectrum if they so choose to seek out a relationship. So, yes, a chemical sensitivity (and it's root cause) do in fact cause relationship issues because they affect how our brains function, and that in turn affects how we interact with others and the world.

Don't do that. Ask more questions. Your questions are valid & valuable. I'd WAY rather explain and clarify to someone wanting to learn than to have you opt for radio silence for feeling "stupid."

I'm at a point in my life and functioning level where many things come very intuitively and naturally, so I forget what things don't come fluidly to others & have to be reminded by the questions you ask. Ask them. These questions of yours are the signal vs. noise of the forum. Most threads and posts are useless crap in the grand scheme of things, these questions of yours? Nope, not at all. Do Not shut up; fire away.

You sound like someone being offered driving lessons from a race car driver who responds by saying "Nah, I got this.. I can be a better driver by sitting right here in the backseat, I don't need anyone's expert advice."

I say this as Fnord/others have been there, done that, and are transparent about the process of how to achieve these things.. and you're all like nah, f**k it, I will not do any of the things that you say get those results. *shrug* Ok, fine, don't do them.. but don't be surprised when you don't get the results you want.

I hear ya, but I can't completely ignore them.

My life is pretty good over all, and I want theirs to be better.

Trouble is.. they don't seem to want theirs to be better. And thus the communication breakdown.

My experience with customer service is that some people don't want help. They just want to rant. I'm sure we see that here as well.

My experience with people in general is that most don't want help. They just want attention. We see that here every day as well.

That's not my experience. NT rules always are based in NT biology, and because of that, they can never come naturally.



That's nothing new to me. It was many years ago when I checked if excluding gluten & lactose from my diet would improve my gastrointestinal symptoms. I excluded both, but then reintroduced lactose again. This "cured" my symptoms pretty quickly, but it had no role whatsoever for ND preferences. I still find NTs preferences & rules very weird. Sure, I could adapt more easily to their rules when I no longer had digestive issues, but it didn't make any difference for my natural preferences. I feel a lot more alien now when I actually understand the vast differences that are present.



ASD researchers always claim to have found "the cure" or some sensational stuff that would eradicate ASD symptoms. The problem is that ASD symptoms are mostly the result of having ND preferences in an NT world. Most of them are environmental, not inherited.



It's very unfortunate when things that should be treated are claimed to cure ASD or make you typical. It takes the focus off the primary issue that there are gut issues that should be treated in the broader autism (ND) group. Especially since neurodiversity advocates will not take this seriously, and also because people think this is a specific problem related to diagnosed ASD.



This is highly problematic. Curing gut issues will NOT MAKE YOU TYPICAL IN THE RELATIONSHIP AREA! Curing gut issues will make you higher functioning, make it easier to adapt, but it won't make any difference for finding a suitable partner, and if you use the extra energy to learn PUA, things will only become worse.

Ok, keep doing what you’re doing and getting the results you are. I’ll do what I do and get laid when I feel like it.

I know, but, just a heads-up, we were having a nice discussion about gut bacteria on one of my Reddit autism forums. Please consider expanding your message to others it might benefit.

Just a suggestion....

I'm pretty content with the results. I think I will live happily ever after just like in the fairy tales.



I have absolutely no desire to "get laid". Having a one night stand is the most disgusting behavior I know of.

I would rather have a lifetime stand. a soulmate.

The probability of that happening is near zero, so it’s not something I’m willing to wait for.

The probability of getting laid is approaching 1, so I choose fun over celibacy.

with all due respect, I have to ask- if you can make yourself over to be the uber-high-functioning physical specimen you seem to be, what is preventing you from finding a soulmate?

I feel like finding a girlfriend being analogous to finding a puppy is similar to claiming that attracting a girlfriend is like they're some kind of magnet to be pulled in.

I find that the reality is that you need to find and attract a girlfriend. For example, going out and meeting people is a good start. If the people you meet are then attracted to you, you've essentially done both.

I mean, a girlfriend isn't going to just turn up at the door because they can't resist you, that's unrealistic. You need to at least find people, acquaintances, friends, before you can allow attraction to happen.

Plus, I find "improving yourself" fairly vague. Different people have different attractions. Some people don't care if you're overweight, others care far too much. Some people like a little awkward in a personality, others just want a smooth talker. Some people like shy, others want confident. Some people want intelligent, others see rigid eloquence as pretentious and snobby.

This is why it's imperative to find somebody first and, above all else, why it's important to find somebody first; changing yourself for a large population to then seek you out won't work.

I haven't failed to find a girlfriend, I just like to see what people are discussing and how I could offer advice.

1) It’s never been a mutual thing in terms of attraction. The very few I’d have dated weren’t that into me. The many that wanted to date me I wasn’t really into.

2) I refuse to be a burden or embarrassment to anyone. I’m very high functioning, but still autistic and I cannot control every symptom at every moment, so, I keep to myself. Likely better for solo pursuits, anyways. I have some things to achieve over the next decade.