Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

"You need to work on yourself!"

Page 8 of 31 [ 495 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 ... 31  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

29 Oct 2018, 4:21 pm

ShyGirl7 wrote:
alex wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
ShyGirl7 wrote:
He needs to locate an intelligent woman.
A 30-ish intelligent woman in the Texas Bible-Belt?

If any are left at that age, they've probably earned university degrees and/or married into money.

Another reason to move away from there

Why does he need someone “intelligent” ? That seems shallow. Find someone who he finds attractive for whatever reasons (personality, attitude, looks, passion, perspective, and even intelligence if she happens to have it) but saying someone needs to date based on iq is very shallow in my opinion. There are plenty of great creative, beautiful and loving women out there who might not score the highest on an iq test.


The point is that the low-IQ ones are not attracted to him (because they're low-IQ).

We've already identified that problem. :wink:


I think it is most likely that his negativity and victim mentality is the main cause of his singlehood. After that might come poor selection of potential partners. He should, as well as most other NDs, focus on ND women, not NTs. I don't feel IQ has much to do with it, and I don't even find IQ tests valid.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

29 Oct 2018, 5:38 pm

rdos wrote:
ShyGirl7 wrote:
alex wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
ShyGirl7 wrote:
He needs to locate an intelligent woman.
A 30-ish intelligent woman in the Texas Bible-Belt?

If any are left at that age, they've probably earned university degrees and/or married into money.

Another reason to move away from there

Why does he need someone “intelligent” ? That seems shallow. Find someone who he finds attractive for whatever reasons (personality, attitude, looks, passion, perspective, and even intelligence if she happens to have it) but saying someone needs to date based on iq is very shallow in my opinion. There are plenty of great creative, beautiful and loving women out there who might not score the highest on an iq test.


The point is that the low-IQ ones are not attracted to him (because they're low-IQ).

We've already identified that problem. :wink:


I think it is most likely that his negativity and victim mentality is the main cause of his singlehood. After that might come poor selection of potential partners. He should, as well as most other NDs, focus on ND women, not NTs. I don't feel IQ has much to do with it, and I don't even find IQ tests valid.


Women on the spectrum as just as vulnerable to Bible Belt brainwashing just as NT women are. I know one who kept saying in an annoying infantile voice "John Lennon's an atheist!" as if it was a bad thing and another one is so religous she couldn't handle hearing swear words. Her parents were also so overprotective that they refuse to let her have male friends or even date. One of the women my mother tried to set me up with had Fragile X Syndrome and her favorite movie was The Prince of Egypt.



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,765

30 Oct 2018, 12:27 am

alex wrote:
Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Something I get told a lot is that I need to exercise more but when I see guys who are fat with girlfriends, it confuses me. Why aren't they slimming down and building muscle?

Perhaps they are not aspies. Personally I think that it's much easier to lose weight than acquire NT social skills. But it's up to you to decide what you should improve. Anyone can improve something about themselves.


I exercised like crazy but my body wouldn't respond to my efforts. I still have man boobs, a chubby belly unless I suck it in, butt fat, a double chin, bony shoulders, and skinny forearms. Some think I am a "weakling" or gay because I have a weak handshake no thanks to my small hands in comparison to most guys.

It’s physiologically impossible for your body not to respond to working out. How many months of following strict daily regimen did you try?

I've been through this with him already. He exercised but his diet was still bad. I'd imagine maybe even very bad seeing as he's said he's pre-diabetic. I guess it's easier to conclude that exercise doesn't work and do nothing than change diet and actually get results.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Oct 2018, 1:31 am

alex wrote:
Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Something I get told a lot is that I need to exercise more but when I see guys who are fat with girlfriends, it confuses me. Why aren't they slimming down and building muscle?

Perhaps they are not aspies. Personally I think that it's much easier to lose weight than acquire NT social skills. But it's up to you to decide what you should improve. Anyone can improve something about themselves.


I exercised like crazy but my body wouldn't respond to my efforts. I still have man boobs, a chubby belly unless I suck it in, butt fat, a double chin, bony shoulders, and skinny forearms. Some think I am a "weakling" or gay because I have a weak handshake no thanks to my small hands in comparison to most guys.

It’s physiologically impossible for your body not to respond to working out. How many months of following strict daily regimen did you try?



Maybe he has a low T.



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

30 Oct 2018, 1:37 am

ND women seemingly only exist on the internet.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

30 Oct 2018, 8:21 am

Making realistic changes like get fit to feel better about myself. Buy better clothes and get a good hair cut. Take up hobbies like volunteering, join a gym or participate in sports.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,492

30 Oct 2018, 8:23 am

I learned how to sew so my clothes fit much better.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

30 Oct 2018, 8:27 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
ND women seemingly only exist on the internet.
Rules of The Internet, Number 37: "There are no girls on the Internet".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Oct 2018, 11:18 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
ND women seemingly only exist on the internet.



They are probably men, like you.



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

30 Oct 2018, 11:29 am

yeah.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

30 Oct 2018, 11:48 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
alex wrote:
Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Something I get told a lot is that I need to exercise more but when I see guys who are fat with girlfriends, it confuses me. Why aren't they slimming down and building muscle?

Perhaps they are not aspies. Personally I think that it's much easier to lose weight than acquire NT social skills. But it's up to you to decide what you should improve. Anyone can improve something about themselves.


I exercised like crazy but my body wouldn't respond to my efforts. I still have man boobs, a chubby belly unless I suck it in, butt fat, a double chin, bony shoulders, and skinny forearms. Some think I am a "weakling" or gay because I have a weak handshake no thanks to my small hands in comparison to most guys.

It’s physiologically impossible for your body not to respond to working out. How many months of following strict daily regimen did you try?

I've been through this with him already. He exercised but his diet was still bad. I'd imagine maybe even very bad seeing as he's said he's pre-diabetic. I guess it's easier to conclude that exercise doesn't work and do nothing than change diet and actually get results.


Well, the rednecks and hip hop thugs I knew still ate cheeseburgers and downed six packs of beer but they still lost weight and put on muscles. The former played football while the latter played basketball so that may have helped. There's very little middle ground to those groups, though. They either could be very fit or morbidly obese with a fex average exceptions but they still get girlfriends regardless of their appearances.

I also got conflicting views from different people on how to exercise. Some said to do it every day while others said do it every other day. I found out the hard way ellipticals don't do jack s**t, especially if you aren't elderly or don't have weak joints. All it did was make me feel hot but my muscles didn't feel any burn.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Oct 2018, 12:10 pm

I'd say work on different muscles groups----but do something every day.



Scipio
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

30 Oct 2018, 1:54 pm

Nobody on the planet is God and as such nobody is or ever can be perfect. Everyone is catastrophically screwed up in some way or other so we all need to continually work on ourselves. It's just a matter of identifying which things are negative and need to be reduced and which things are positive and need to be maximized.



Scipio
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

30 Oct 2018, 1:56 pm

If you're overweight and weeze when you try to drag yourself up the stairs, get your nutrition and exercise right. If you can't carry a conversation to save your life, get some books on that and work it out. If you don't brush your teeth, for the love of God brush your teeth.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

30 Oct 2018, 2:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'd say work on different muscles groups----but do something every day.


My older brother tried to show me different exercises but I couldn't do some because I either couldn't hold a certain position (I tend to have stiff joints that make me unable to do certain stretches and exercises) or it would hurt. He made me do one exercise that actually tore the muscles in my neck and the back of my head. My head was in pain for days after that so I never did it again.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

30 Oct 2018, 6:17 pm

If I make it to 40 and things still are the same, should I just go ahead and kill myself?