Young woman at the gas station

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It's always darkest nearest dawn habibi, never give up. There is always hope for wondrous things.

What misfortune will befall BullsBears? He’s a sensible guy. He won’t do something stupid because some girl rejected him.

He might be rejected by the gas station girl—but so what?

There are other fish in the sea.

I’ve been both accepted and rejected numerous times. I didn’t take rejection well, usually. I felt despair.

BullsBears is on a journey. I’m not promising success....but don’t promise failure, goddamit!

Welp, I chose tonight to go see what happened after I gave her the note.

She did see the note, and she has a boyfriend.

Sorry it ended that way, it was always an unknown risk. I hope the exchange was as pleasant as it could be. Now you can move on without wondering what if.

Even if she didn't have a boyfriend, giving a note is definitely not the way to go. You gotta be direct and just ask someone out. This isn't high school

Alex, I don't think that this type of response is very kind. OP had his reasons for using this method and we should be considerate that everyone has different comfort levels. Not everyone can take the direct approach. Saying "this isn't high school" isn't constructive and it comes across as (for lack of a better term) a way to shame someone.

That’s happened to me quite a few times. I’ve been interested in girls who turned out to have boyfriends.

I am of the opinion that passing the note wasn’t all that bad.

Please, Mr. BullsBears....just move on to the next girl.

Try not to think of this as a rejection of you.....because it isn’t. The boyfriend just “got there first.” Luck of the draw.

Looks like I'm Alex's defender today

That's not what Alex said! he said that passing a parchment of paper with writing on is not the best approach, I agree 100% that talking to a girl is much healthier for both the OP and the girl.

No shame intended. I think notes are kind of still effective in high school but after that I don’t think they really work unless you’re writing a note to someone you already are dating.

This is a serious mistake a lot of young men make (whether Aspie or NT) is to get fixated with one girl. There's plenty out there, A good fisherman never gives up just because a fish he hooked fell off back in the water,

NT kids actually stop using notes in primary school as they have mobile phones to SMS in high school

I made that same mistake. I was fixated on a girl for 2 years after having relations with her, then getting rejected.

Incidentally, she wrote ME a note, saying that she “loves me but is not in love with me.” Then, she followed me home. She was a co-worker. Then we had relations twice. Then she rejected me.

I bear no grudge now.

If you refer to the lyrics of the Billy Joel song "Always a woman" he manages to capture the essential aspects of the female psych which most of us males ignore.

Well that is how my sister met her last boyfriend...kinda seems now things may not be working out my sister was talking about getting married but well at the moment she's moved into my moms house, which to me says perhaps things aren't working out that way. but he certainly ended up getting with my sister by giving his number to her in that manner. She was working at a place and he liked her so he eventually got up the guts to just give her a note with is number and inquire if maybe she'd like to date him. I mean for sure there is the chance you could try it and it wont work...just don't want to claim it will for sure happen when that may not be true. But I just know that is how my sisters most recent boyfriend met her...so its also certainly not impossible. I think the main thing would just be if she isn't receptive or doesn't seem interested at all then you have to leave it as that and move on. But there is the chance maybe she would be interested. So you just have to take the risk if you really like her..to find out if its possible but if she rejects it that has to be the end of it because if after that you were to try continuing to get a date with her it would be inappropriate. But I do not think an initial inquiry or giving your number would be bad at all, so long as you are willing to handle the possibility she may not be interested.

No. This actually happened to me....at age 21....in real life.

well passing it silently could be weird, but if he was to say something like 'hey do you want to maybe meet up sometime, here's my number. Or just something to indicate he'd like to maybe see her more with passing the number that I don't think should be too problematic...so long as he accepts if she turns it down.