Do We Choose Who We Fall in Love With...Yes, or No???

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You're willfully misunderstanding what I wrote. That's not what we are discussing.

I didn't say that I didn't believe in other kinds of blessing.

I agree that we are dignified with freedom of choice and therefore if we are in a situation we can say yes or no. Like the guy I met in my 20s. I said no. I met him through a way where you could say we met through God because we met doing things related to church, I can't remember what, but we wouldn't have been happy together. So I said no. I knew he really liked my friend, they're married now with kids.

So I suppose we agree to a certain extent, but my aspie brain sees someone saying that they prayed and were blessed with a husband and I only see the cold logic in that, not the wider, encompassing meaning. It's an inaccurate statement logically and it annoys me.

You have admitted that you did not get a husband *brought* to you. You just did the things you felt were important spiritually and through doing that you ran into this chap that you then married. If you had stayed at home you wouldn't have met him.

Let me tell you this is my biggest bug bear in life and I will argue it to the death!

I would never say anything so smug.

I'm an aspie, but I have some social awareness.

I'm also British aspie and never say anything so emotive.

Ok, I'm going to take a break. I'm just making myself angry. I'll see you all in the new year... maybe

I said yes, because ultimately love is a choice. When I think of what "love" means for me, it's an action. That's why we tell people "I love you."

Emotions and feelings are not a choice. We might have feelings for someone that we don't choose to have. However, what you decide to do with those feelings is up to you.

Falling in love is an action, so I assume I can decide who I do that with if the appropriate emotions/context is there. Obviously if I don't have romantic feelings for someone I can't fall in love with them, but generally we get to know people as a way to assess this.

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You sum it up pretty well above...Thank you...Indeed, emotions are unpredictable and can suddenly change ...However, although love is an emotion, when guided by good principles, it can be lasting...And yes, love must be demonstrated with actions...I, too, like to think of love in terms of an action...Thanks again...

I'd view it more as inaction.

If I'm in love with someone then I don't have to work too hard to like them or understand them, most of the time.

Indeed things I would normally find slightly annoying become cute if it's the right person doing them.

That's not to say relationships don't involve effort, of course they do. But there's an underlying affinity and enough trust that you can be vulnerable and make mistakes.

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True...