Yes, the looks is very important

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There are a whole lot of people who fall between rich and can't even afford to go out for a drink.

Why people gotta marry?
I wouldn't pay for boys, only for maybe a pizza but I wanna serve stuff on a bench.

But im thinking of stopping people in the park asking them if theyre taken, want to date and asking for their number. Quick income of people and might be locals. Some might want to hang right then and there.

I don't have any data on the matter so this is only conjecture on my part, but I think these things play out differently online than IRL. When people meet IRL they are usually interacting on a number of levels and noticing various aspects of one another's personalities, and they can become drawn to any of those. This is where I feel aspies struggle the most. But online, you don't get much to go off of other the pictures.

There have been a few times that I met women who I thought were absolutely gorgeous, only to realize they were either dumber than rocks or just all around terrible human beings. I wouldn't want to date women like that regards of how good they look. But on the other hand, I also wouldn't date someone who seemed kind and interesting but I felt no physical attraction to.

Most people seemed to think I was good looking when I was younger, but that was before I turned into a 300 lbs blob.

wat?

"If it's on the Internet, it must be true." - Abraham Lincoln

Also, I must be unique (spoiler: I'm not the only one) in not being lulled into personality equating to looks. If the personality is s**t - as in, generally unkind, duplicitous, etc. - all bets are off for me.

1) You admit you have no idea. Ok, cool.

2) That's right, MOST men are very keen on sex. That's what I said - the vast majority of gay guys are all about hookups/sex. Not all, but MOST. In part because they're horny males and can do that. And in part because gay relationships still aren't fully accepted by society, so gays don't have the same dating lives as teens or PDA etc - only in the gay villages of major cities, and even then it's limited. So lack of societal acceptance helps perpetuate a hookup culture vs. everyone shifting gears to long term relationships. There are more dating and LTR type gays and marriages etc than probably ever before, but it remains a very small minority of the gay population vs. the hookup culture. Hence the popularity of all the apps, bath houses, wild parties etc. And as things shift to dating, there are even articles out there promoting the preservation of hookup culture - it's clandestine nature making it hot etc, keeping that tradition alive too. It just is what it is.

If you want a really REALLY well presented tv drama version of gay culture, watch the series Queer as Folk - the North American version. There are relationships in it, even adopted kids, But it ALSO gives the viewer a realistic glimpse into the party/club/sex life of gay men that to an outsider seems surreally hedonistic, but to an insider views like a realistic portrayal of hookups, sex, drugs, parties, orgies etc that are a huge part of a whooooole lot of gay communities around the world. It's not just a show with fantasy crap, this is really how gay lives are. The only thing that's unrealistic about it is that while ALL of the things in the show happen, in real life they would be divided over more ppl vs. the same core group of friends experiencing ALL of the things. Other than that, it's pretty damned realistic. I am not a special snowflake who's personal experiences are hella unique and it's just my perspective. I'm just one of many gay guys, a cog in the gay life scene machine, and reporting accurately to you - the outisder - what it's really like.

Anyways, this show really give you a real idea if you're interested in what life is really like for a very large majority of gays and their sex lives:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0262985/

I was never pretending to know about gay hookup apps, I thought the thread was talking about men in general.


It is but you didn't. "Guys simply wanna f**k. Girls wanna feel things and have relationships and emotions" comes accross as you saying all men and women are like this. If that's not how you meant it then no harm done.
Edit to add a smile

I even elaborated to say that it's a Generalization and Generally true. None of those states say ALL or absolute truth and there is no deviation from it.

It only works like that when someone possesses an overt or excessively unlikable trait. If someone went around kicking puppies, for instance. But in the case of people who don't overtly twirl their mustaches, as is often the case IRL, having good looks will usually cause their more subtle negative traits to be played down and overlooked while their more positive ones are exaggerated. And the opposite is often true for less attractive people.

Of course it's generally true otherwise Tindr would be full of pictures of fannies/men complaining about that & there would be a well known lesbian hook up app & Grindr wouldn't have got off the ground...*

* At least more true than its opposite.

Yes then the alogithm suggests they seek out a girl with similar financial issues/background and who looks/appearance. Remember in the law of supply and demand girls have much greater demand so the pressure is always on the guy to compete for a shrinking pool of options.

A girl with no money but moderate looks/appearance can attract a guy with of similar appearance with money. The reverse is near impossible,

Last edited by cyberdad on 30 Jan 2021, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yep good point, So I was referring to a long term relationship. These days it amounts to the same thing legally.

When it comes to dating....if I went by an “algorithm,” I’d still be a 60 year old virgin.

Good point Kraftie, but you allude to something quite different.

I am talking about single Aspie men looking for a female partner who should have realistic expectations about what are the odds. In science this is called "odds ratio".

But what you are talking about is overcoming the odds. And I have mentioned before that to overcome odds you need to talk to and interact with as many girls as possible. The more times you throw a fishing line in the water you increase your odds of catching a fish.

Third you need to take risks and be prepared for awkward responses and embarrassment. It takes bravery to come out of your shell. But the important take-home message is to not carry high expectations so long as they know that what they were trying was a long shot.

If you fail then pick yourself up and try again. Even NTs can benefit from this advice (not just Aspies)

Generally, It seems people on WP don’t get the concept of Generalization; as if they’re blind to this word and its derivatives, hence taking the statement personally and getting needlessly offended. lol

Except the one who did the survey is Okcupid which is a multi-millionnaire company, so it’s not just “something on the internet”, the ones who draw the graphs are surely hired pro statisticians, not some idiot internet boys.

And the graphs don’t sound good for their business, they’re kinda discourageable for using online dating; so I see no reason why they would fake it, but Okcupid had been known to be blunt and bold in analyzing their findings.

When the WPers gonna learn that stats represent *General population* ? No one mentioned unique snowflakes.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 31 Jan 2021, 3:05 am, edited 1 time in total.