WantToHaveALife wrote:
i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.
I have come across the notion that autistic women are typically found at the opposite ends of the sexuality spectrum, ether tending to asexual or to the other extreme, more "sexual" in the sense of being open to casual sex or initiating partnered sex compared to most women. I have seen the latter scenario used as a trope on two different TV shows featuring autistic female characters, specifically The Bridge (FX 2013) and Everything's Gonna Be Okay (Freeform 2020), and without any widespread criticism as I would think many autistic women would take offense at that "stereotype".
I was in two fairly serious relationships with women that I believe were autistic, although they wouldn't have been diagnosed at the time (both born in the 1950s), as neither seemed clearly "disabled" to a casual observer. And neither of them considered romantic attachment to be a prerequisite for having sex with a male partner, although both confessed feelings for me (one of them was totally ready to marry me at the age of 21, and both eventually did get married and have children). If a woman is predisposed in this way, and is honest about it, then it's something you have to live with, even if she is committed to being faithful to her partner. In my experience, both of these women were fun to share a bedroom with, but I have personally experienced stronger emotional bonding in connection with an NT partner. Of course, that's my experience, YMMV but be aware there could be downsides. One of the two women in question had a FWB when I met her, and told me about him our first night together (but was so matter-of-fact about it that it didn't bother me). The other embarked on a promiscuous lifestyle, after our relationship was over, and actually bragged to me about it the last time I saw her. But I know some guys have serious issues with this sort of thing (at least they seem to on Reddit) so it's something you MAY have to deal with if you get involved with a woman on the spectrum.