Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men?

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Jakki
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21 Jan 2024, 3:20 pm

Older Women make better Lovers...LaaLaLalalaa. And Aspie women that make it to older age.. might have more insights. 8O ....????
About integrating into life , Perhaps ? And may have a wider breadth of knowledge about how to get along in a NT world .. Possibly making a perfect mate for Males and or ( fill in your choice of Gender here) . If the males (or ?) still has some degree of neuroplasticity they might fall back on . To engage a new fresher , hopefully more understanding/pragmatic relationship. Two aspies trying to cope :roll: in a NT world is better than one. Hopefully at approximately? similiar levels of the spectrum? 8) :mrgreen:
( notible references concerning aspies and larger more extensive neural networks) Apologies for implied gender bias!


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MatchboxVagabond
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21 Jan 2024, 10:43 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I'd much rather have an autistic partner. I'd feel more comfortable.

TBH, that can vary wildly. My wife is probably pda profile and as much as I love her, she is fully committed to being masked at all times.

That being said, I'm not sure that an NT wife would necessarily be better, it really depends
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WantToHaveALife
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04 May 2024, 7:21 am

i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.



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04 May 2024, 11:35 am

WHEN A HIGHER FUNCTIONING aspie woman settles on a man ... you can be sure there would much assesment
of most of lifes variables before appearing. committed . And the "chance" of getting pregnant by anyone , is almost always requiring a lifetime committment ...depending on the Aspie woman . So their could be much going on in any eomans mind , before she decides NOT to be Asexual . Just an thought offering . On opposite side of the coin, have met some Hypersexual Aspies as well...And not sure the two paths ever cross


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04 May 2024, 12:09 pm

I am not truly "asexual" but I think the reason I declined to have sex with Robbie is because I was simply too young at the time!

I also have a fear of getting pregnant which has contributed to why I have stayed a virgin for SO LONG

But now with David I feel that might be changing...



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04 May 2024, 12:27 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.


I think writing off all autistic women because of your experience with one autistic woman is pretty foolish and only reduces your potential dating pool.


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04 May 2024, 12:36 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I also have a fear of getting pregnant which has contributed to why I have stayed a virgin for SO LONG

But now with David I feel that might be changing...


You just take your time kid.


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04 May 2024, 12:47 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.

I have come across the notion that autistic women are typically found at the opposite ends of the sexuality spectrum, ether tending to asexual or to the other extreme, more "sexual" in the sense of being open to casual sex or initiating partnered sex compared to most women. I have seen the latter scenario used as a trope on two different TV shows featuring autistic female characters, specifically The Bridge (FX 2013) and Everything's Gonna Be Okay (Freeform 2020), and without any widespread criticism as I would think many autistic women would take offense at that "stereotype".

I was in two fairly serious relationships with women that I believe were autistic, although they wouldn't have been diagnosed at the time (both born in the 1950s), as neither seemed clearly "disabled" to a casual observer. And neither of them considered romantic attachment to be a prerequisite for having sex with a male partner, although both confessed feelings for me (one of them was totally ready to marry me at the age of 21, and both eventually did get married and have children). If a woman is predisposed in this way, and is honest about it, then it's something you have to live with, even if she is committed to being faithful to her partner. In my experience, both of these women were fun to share a bedroom with, but I have personally experienced stronger emotional bonding in connection with an NT partner. Of course, that's my experience, YMMV but be aware there could be downsides. One of the two women in question had a FWB when I met her, and told me about him our first night together (but was so matter-of-fact about it that it didn't bother me). The other embarked on a promiscuous lifestyle, after our relationship was over, and actually bragged to me about it the last time I saw her. But I know some guys have serious issues with this sort of thing (at least they seem to on Reddit) so it's something you MAY have to deal with if you get involved with a woman on the spectrum.


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04 May 2024, 12:52 pm

babybird wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I also have a fear of getting pregnant which has contributed to why I have stayed a virgin for SO LONG

But now with David I feel that might be changing...


You just take your time kid.

I happen to think she's in a good place right now. I hope I'm right.


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04 May 2024, 1:03 pm

Yeah I hope you're right too


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08 May 2024, 12:29 am

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.


I think writing off all autistic women because of your experience with one autistic woman is pretty foolish and only reduces your potential dating pool.


because of my last partner, i feel very relucantant to call her an ex-girlfriend



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21 May 2024, 5:27 am

^^^I think plenty of NTs ghost as well. There's even a show on MTV about this called Ghosted.


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21 May 2024, 4:08 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
i feel very reluctant to pursue an autistic woman ever again, because i would be under the impression that she is either asexual or just has issues/problems with sex/physical intimacy.


I think writing off all autistic women because of your experience with one autistic woman is pretty foolish and only reduces your potential dating pool.


if i ever meet someone new, and we start a relationship, lesson learned from my last relationship(even though i feel very reluctant to call her an ex-girlfriend), i feel i should bring up to that person, address this topic early on, mention to the other person, that sex or just physical intimacy is important to me, it matters me, and if you, the other person, has issues or problems with sex, physical intimacy, then we won't be dating, we won't be a couple, just be straight up with them like that, so that way, we don't waste each others time.



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21 May 2024, 4:25 pm

There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.



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21 May 2024, 4:26 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.


well sex is a natural or normal part of a relationship, a relationship without sex just doesn't feel or seem like a true relationship to me, sounds more like a friendship to me.



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21 May 2024, 4:34 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things in a relationship or having a respectful conversation about what you both want, but seeming like you’d be pushy about sex would be a huge red flag to most women. The topic shouldn’t seem like an ultimatum.

well sex is a natural or normal part of a relationship, a relationship without sex just doesn't feel or seem like a true relationship to me, sounds more like a friendship to me.

I’m sure many people feel that way, but once again, if you seem like you’d be pushy about sex or if you issue ultimatums, it probably wouldn’t help you get what you want. Most women want relationships that include sex, but they also want to be treated with respect. If someone is demonstrating red flags, most would prefer to keep on looking than to settle for someone who seems like they might not treat them right.