I don't understand why I can't get a woman! [! SATIRE !]

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I agree not everyone is a groomer or should be treated like one.
Those people would presumably read the comments without being offended.
They wouldn't feel offended because they'd know it's not them.

We had a thread "Why is there so much Misogyny on WP" on the weekend.
That thread didn't involve humour or satire.
We tried to have an open and frank discussion of the topic.

Women were told to leave L&D entirely, for voicing concerns.
Women were told they were wrong.
This thread seems to be helping because it's showing just how bad sexism can be.
I think the satirical tone helps victims speak up, while also getting others' attention.

If women are sexually manipulating men please report it.
If women are ruining reputations please report it.
I can say honestly I haven't seen any of that, but maybe you have.
Maybe the people who are writing / receiving those PM should also speak up (anonymously).

I've had my reputation trashed so badly and for so long, I could write a book.
That's why I hit my boiling point and I've needed to add examples to this list.
Personally I don't believe any "nonsense accusations" without proof.
I don't think CF would either.
CF likely wouldn't appreciate "nonsense reports" either.

I don't know what breadpiling is.
I'm sticking up for fairness, not just for myself or my "friends" but for everyone.
I've been seeking equal treatment for genders and races and neurotypes since Day 1.
I'm not aware of women manipulating men in recent years.
If that means a woman changed her mind about friendship, I think that's "fair".
Don't you?

Okay… back to the cats thread.

I don't see finger-pointing either. If people feel shocked by this thread, it's likely because they didn't know how bad things are for some of the women at WP. I hope people realise the risk we as women are taking by exposing some of this stuff, whether it happens here or on other sites, or in real life. I can imagine there will be a cohort of people who will point fingers at the women more than the men. The women in this thread stand a risk of being labelled "hysterical, histrionic, liars, sluts, manipulators", etc., and I can see it's already started to happen in the couple of hours I was offline. People who are paranoid about possibly being perceived as a groomer could possibly deflect that shame by attacking the women instead. Of course we've all seen that before even in high-profile legal cases where victims come forward to identify predators. The victims (usually women, but not always), are frequently debased as liars with mental health problems.

If anyone is worried about fingers being pointed at men in this thread, perhaps they should stop and consider how many fingers are going to be pointed at the women who have posted personal and embarrassing stories. We're now open to public scrutiny which believe me, will be more harsh than anything said about the perpetrators. The fact we're doing this anyway shows we're willing and able to do what's right regardless of any attack-campaigns that could ensue. We're prepared for that mentally and emotionally because we've already been dealing with harassment for years. Another short wave of it won't break us, especially when we know we've helped others.

I think a majority of the people in this thread are innocent of wrongdoing, and have nothing to worry about. If they were causing these problems it would already be reported and investigated, meaning that person wouldn't be here to be offended. People might also feel mixed emotions when confronted with these posts, because it's stressful to think such a big problem might have been happening without them knowing. It makes everyone feel vulnerable. Women who haven't been harassed might feel stressed just realising such a subculture exists. Men who haven't been groomers or predators may be equally shocked and wonder if they're being accused. If their conscience is clear and they know they haven't acted this way, they might feel guilty for not seeing the signs and helping women sooner. I'm sure this is stressful for the mods and CF too, having to read very sensitive material and see screenshots of objectionable behaviour toward vulnerable members.

None of this is easy for any of us. We're covering up a lot of pain with jokes and satire but I think most of us are insightful enough to realise it's based on months or even years of excruciating pain, humiliation, degradation, and fear. Now that this can of worms is open it seems we're all shook for different reasons, but I hope and believe good will come of it if we maintain this open dialogue.

Now more advice.
Don’t let her become comfortable driving, you know how dangerous women are behind the wheel.Most can’t even backup without hitting a building or running over someone.
She really needs to be home where she is safe and can preform her wifely duties without any distractions.
Be sure to tell her the makeup she carefully applied makes her look like a whore.She really needs to know that.And decide what she can wear.It’s your responsibility to make sure she is dressed to proper standards.
Birth control pills? Whatever would she need those for?Toss them in the trash.
Everyone knows women are designed to just pop out one after another.It’s what they are made for.

^^ Well put, Isabella!

- OP, if you ever get a girl and you have children together, don't forget to abandon them. Do it early so the kids won't know or miss you. Do it late so the kids are able to understand you're gone. Either way, just keep walking! Child support and parental responsibilities are for sissies! Following court orders? Ha! A real man finds ways to evade being caught!

- If you don't have children, don't you dare go flirting with those single mothers. They're just gold diggers because they want a stable person in their children's lives. If they don't like you gambling or spending your welfare money on drugs, then screw them!

- Go for someone much younger than yourself even if she's not exactly 100% legal since they're more impressionable then. Just make sure you know when her birthday is, to cover your arse. It's likely available on a public registry somewhere, or if you hack government computers, or steal her purse. Worst case, you could just lie and say you didn't know her age. No one will believe her anyway since she's too young to testify in court.

- Go for someone much older than yourself because hot cougar women are really sexy. It's fun to feel like a boytoy with someone who remembers rotary telephones, or how to do arithmetic in their head. You could always talk about ancient history, or anthropology, or horses and buggies. She loves those topics because they remind her of childhood. If she has a daughter of dating age, even better! You can flirt with them both at the same time, almost like a Shakespearean comedy or modern rom com. All in the family goes a really long way toward financial security!

- Make sure you trash the history on your computer on a regular basis so she won't know you're following other girls at the same time. It makes it easier to deny your actions to police, too. You'll likely want to save some of the photos, so put those on an external hard drive and bury it in your yard. A nice cement slab and flower pot could hide the spot. If you need to trash an entire desktop computer, I've heard it's good to soak the hard drive in bleach for approximately 48-72 hours before driving over it with your car (or someone else's car).

- Eat just a few bland foods on regular rotation. You wouldn't want to appear too high-maintenance or risk getting bad breath. White bread, macaroni and chicken nuggets should be super easy for her to cook 7 days a week if you get together.

- Get tattoos and flash them at her by wearing muscle shirts or skimpy clothes. Women like animals so you might consider something exotic like a snake or a ferocious wolf claw. Make up some names of non-existent women and burn them into your flesh to make her jealous. You wouldn't under any circumstance want her to think you're a virgin even if you are.

- Start spreading gossip about yourself in real life and online. Tell people you "had" hundreds of lovers before, and that you loved each one for who they were as women. Stress that it was always romantic and you were always "making love" because you would never objectify a woman or desire a one-night-stand, despite the fact you use Tindr to look for hookups and quickies with anyone who'll consent. Spread a narrative that you don't enjoy sex for the sake of sex because you'd much rather masturbate for strangers than risk being called a misogynist.

- If anyone calls you a misogynist, freak the hell out and say they're lying. Maybe they have a secret vendetta against you and you're being framed. You know there's such a thing as misandry, right? Keep that knowledge close-to-the-vest but pull it out as a trump card if you ever feel accused. If she has evidence that you're a misogynist, just blackmail her with intimidation so she'll back down. No one will believe her anyway, especially if she has a vagina.

- Attack people who aren't cisgendered, or question every aspect of their sexuality, just to make it clear you're a man and all your fantasies are about heterosexual sex with willing, cisgendered females. Attack women as being too "SJW" if they think for themselves, because that can only cause trouble. Attack women as being right-wing or prudish if they aren't SJW, or if they don't flaunt their sex appeal and eligibility to strangers. If she rejects an advance, it's reasonable to assume she's an actual fascist. If she says she's a moderate or she cares about all people, don't trust her for a second. Those chicks will say whatever they need to say to be popular. They probably hate you deep down. Spread these lies all over the place to protect your own reputation.

Never ,ever wear a condom.It’s not manly and they are all too small.
Like wearing a raincoat in the shower.
It’s the woman’s problem if she gets knocked up.It just feels better raw dogging it.
STDs? Whatever.She probably gave it to you, they are all nympho sluts.And if they don’t want sex, they are frigid or a dyke.
Herpes? No reason to tell someone that about that teeny sore.It’s most likely not contagious anyhow.

- when she rejects your creepy advances, start telling people that you rejected her because she has “no personality“ and isn’t “spiritual” enough. That’ll show her and drive the other single vaginas vagenes crazy. It’s a win-win.

^^

- She should just take the pill so she's prepared for any unplanned attacks!! It doesn't matter if it increases her risk of blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, mood swings, and weight gain!! If she has emotions or gains weight no one will want her anyway ... so it's extra-super effective for birth control!!

- If she whinges that she doesn't want to take hormones or her doctor won't let her, tell her to get a piece of metal implanted in her uterus so it will irritate the lining and prevent your boys from implanting.

- Don't under and circumstance consent to a vasectomy because that's your body and it might hurt to get a tiny incision, even if it's only 1 cm long and it's considered an outpatient procedure.

Claim that you took the condom off during sex because you couldn’t get off while wearing it.

Yes, but also promote the transcendent nature of orgasmic delight.
The thought of meeting God in bed might arouse her.

She’s too fat.
Real men want anorexic ladies.
Be sure and tell her often how disgustingly fat she has gotten.Ignore the fact you have a ginormous beer belly.
Make sure she never enjoys a meal within counting calories.Point out women that look better often.It will inspire her.
Remember that women are incapable of hooking up stereo equipment, simple mechanics or putting anything together.
Don’t let them have a hammer or pliers, they might electrocute themselves.
They really just need a frying pan or vacuum cleaner.It’s all their tiny primitive brains can handle.

call her fat and disgusting even though she’s a new mom and you aren’t Mr. Perfect Body

call her a whore even though she’s only slept with you

She really need to worship your erect penis.Get down on her knees and do some praying to it.

My ex has officially shown up to the thread.

Call her "rotund" in front of your friends and family, when she weighs 125 lbs.


If she's recovering from a stroke and / or using a walker at the same time, she'll feel so humiliated you won't have to buy her dinner or even drive her home.


When she's 7 months pregnant with your baby, and on bed-rest so the baby won't die, throw a bag of cookies at her head if she mentions feeling hungry. No use cooking for a baby who might not even survive.


Push her down the stairs when pregnant. Everyone knows pregnant women are clumsy and besides, she'll likely be walking too slowly when having Braxton-Hicks contractions.


Call her "Shamu the Killer Whale" when she's having pregnancy photos taken. Tell her she looks like a clown in her maternity tops or her sensible shoes.


Call the baby a jerk, suck, loser, and brat on its first day of life. Slam a few doors if the baby isn't your preferred gender. Then terrorise the baby when it's just a couple of years old. There's no way they'll remember!