Aspie dating success stories

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I started menopause in my 30s because of surgery required post-trauma. I struggled to have an interest in sex until I met my partner in 2019, but that was because of trauma and trust issues rather than menopause. Without TMI, I'll just say that we have no problems in that regard and things are very active.

*addendum
The subset "my friends" belongs to a culture where husbands can respect their partners wishes.
This extreme skew is quite at odds with a large part of the planetary population, so even I am wary of its representation relative to any averages...of any subsection of the human race.

Grrr not quick enough.

Yes...50% of western women still have desire...that was the original premise.
All of my sample have families... 3/5 have stated they would rather be alone with the kids.

Also...I can see why those 3 are just tired of the male gender...

idk, but all the post-menopausal women I know are more into sex than before. They don't have to worry about pregnancy, their kids are often grown and gone meaning they have privacy, they're old and wise enough to love their bodies, and 60+ men happen to be daing hot themselves. There's nothing not to love imo.

If I bat my eyelashes will you introduce me to some ?

(That is a definitive example of my luck. You get the horny friends )

All these obstacles make Aspie success stories even more remarkable.

Heres my experience........

After decades of numerous stressful relationships including 3 failed marriages, in my early 60's I finally met the person who I knew it would all work out with. We absolutely understand each other and were married in February of this year.

For me (and I am not for one moment saying that this applies to everyone!) the key factor here is that they share my neurotype. Well the Autistic bit anyway - they are also ADHD, I am not.

We met via voluntary work related to the Autistic community. Which also illustrated how connections of this sort can come about via focus on things other than seeking relationships.

It also helps that we share the same sexual orientation and views on gender. We are both members of the local LGBTQ+ community. We also have a number of shared interests such as Art.

Before this I had 'given up' on being in any kind of long term relationship and was growing content with being on my own in my own space. Now, I have never felt so happy and accepted.

When I look back on all of the failed relationships I think that the main problem was that I hadnt really come to terms with my personal identity and was still heavily masking in order to appear neurotypical. The other parties either didnt know what they were getting or saw through the mask and manipulated and exploited me.

I only ever made two threads in L&D or anything relating to it years ago, both of the women they relate to made me feel uncomfortable and by the looks of it they do the same for all other men as they're both still single and had zero luck since.

As for my origonal post on this thread, observations shouldn't be considered as sexist generalisations. Already on this thread, slurs have been made towards members insinuating they're sexist and misogynistic for stating fairly neutral observations (which mighr well be true) without those making the accusations actually checking how valid the statements are first.

When I posted regarding success stories on LOTS, I focused on male participants simply because I didn't want to assume that what to me seemed like dating success for women would be seen that way for actual women.

But on further thought, dating success can mean so many different things. It's probably best to go along with other's definitions unless those definitions are presented with the clear intent to offend.

My wife f67 and AFAIK her friends are sexually active if they are in relationships. Of course my knowledge is necessarily limited.

+1

Also my brother-in-law m65 and his current girlfriend who is roughly the same age. A couple of years ago, he divorced his long-time 2nd wife who was more than 10 years younger.

thank you. Many personal experiences/observations are automatically invalidated if they don't fit some type of preconceived narrative or sharing aforementioned experiences or observations and somehow thrown into a bucket of collective generalisation.

Sexist generalizations HAVE been made in this thread as they so often are made on WP. Some of them have even been removed. It does appear like some folks around here have trouble understanding why certain things are sexist even though this topic has been addressed repeatedly on WP, including by moderation.

However, I will say that it doesn’t surprise me at all that people who frequently engage in the behavior, both recently and historically, will defend it.

That's fair enough but people should learn how to couch their observations in language that clearly flags that's what it is.

All too often we see statements that generalise entire genders presented as simple truth, common sense, or just 'how it is' and any rebuttal (often from members of the generalised gender) dismissed.

i.e.

No woman has ever shown interest in me. I think that's because I'm ugly and poor = personal observation.

Women aren't interested in me because they don't like ugly and poor men = sexist generalisation.

What irks me is that people cast a very big net when it comes to what is a generalisation. The reason I started posting here was because a month or so ago someone made a thread where the stats of online dating was put in a video, clearly showing that men had a much harder time initiating contact with women. Despite the original post simply being a link to the video which contained facts on the subject and little more, another member immediately launched a personal attack on the OP calling him an incel which is ironic considering he doesn't have much trouble with dating and the attacker has virtually no dating experience (a common trend it seems). Simple stats are enough to trigger people if those stats don't line up with their personal experience.

Something very similar was mentioned on this thread and once again, because nobody learns, he was called a misogynist with absolutely zero thought given to what point he was trying to make. Again, the attacker has very little recent dating experience and isn't in the position to make such a spirited attack against someone who might actually be correct to begin with (not like further research will be done, clearly)

Honestly, many people here haven't gone on dates in a lot of years and their lack of experience certainly shows. This needs to be kept in mind, ideally before pressing "enter" on some accusation.

If we’re thinking of the same situation, the “attacker” is in a relationship. I suspect the overreaction was due to the fact that sexism has been off-the-charts around here lately. The buildup of regular microagressions can lead to people lashing out where it’s completely unwarranted. That’s one of the reasons why addressing the sexism that occurs here on a continuous basis is so important.
Honestly, much of the time, folks need to reflect before posting. Often, the problem isn’t the research but the commentary that goes along with it. If a poster cited research that demonstrates gendered differences on apps, that’s fine. If that research is used to imply that it’s harder for men in a general sense, that’s different.