Why are Aspie Men Bitter Towards Women??

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makuranososhi: Im not trying to vent my frustration on women(here or anywhere) or blame them for my situation; Im simply describing what Ive observed and experienced over the last 10 years or so. Its interesting to me how looking for a mate has a lot of parallels to looking for a job, even though there ARE many important differences. Thats probably why people sometimes casually refer to it(the mating game)as The Meat Market . From what I seen, it appears that men want women more than women want men. And MissConstrue: your experiences dont surprise me much at all. From what I gather if you are a woman, you are practically guaranteed a mate, its just a question of WHO. The more attractive you are, the more choices you have. I daresay that there are VERY FEW women out there who are so unattractive that they couldnt find a man no matter who hard they tried. So there you have it: It is what it is. How I or anyone else may feel about it is another matter all together.

Guaranteed a mate.

I guess you didn't read my post clearly and if that were the case, I would've had one by now.

MissConstrue's post shows that aspie women really don't have it so easy after all. I consider MissC to be very attractive (as do all WP members) yet she doesn't have anyone. She has been in relationships in the past but they both for bad ones. And I don't consider a bad relationship to be a relationship at all.

I can see what you are trying to say Hal but because aspie women have the difficulties they may have, even if how attractive they are increases their chances, odds are they might attract someone cruel enough to take advantage of them. Men today seem to have a thing for women that they can take advantage of. I personally would much rather not be in a relationship than be in an abusive one.

Besides, just like she said, if all I want is sex I'll hire an escort (which I have looked into but there aren't any without reasonable traveling distance from me).

I always wonder, when I read these types of posts written by men, if they have ever taken a sort of inventory of what they have to offer a woman. Because if all you are offering is sex, if that is your immediate priority, it can be off putting to some.
Unless I am vastly mistaken, most women are not looking to just "get with" someone. We require a lot more than a sexual encounter or two. We need to know if you'll respect us. We need to know if you will stick by us. If we have children, we need to know that you will love and stick by them, as well. (And not have to be chased from state to state, for child support.) We need to know that you love us, not just sex with us.

The majority of us have had no trouble attracting men. True. But the majority of these men that we've attracted, we didn't want! And some of them won't take no for answer. Or they have drug and alcohol problems. Or they are abusive. It isn't necessarily a good thing to be found attractive. MissConstrue and I share a similar belief about ourselves; we don't think that we are especially attractive. I hear frequently from others that I am. MissConstrue hears it from men on this forum. All well and good. But we are alone. Single. And afraid of being burned, yet again.

^ rAmen, hartzofspace... the gross oversimplification astounds me and baffles; perhaps it is a perceptual or experiential issue? It works in reverse as well; the last relationship I had prior to getting engaged was some years ago, but she pursued me and even proposed... and it was perhaps the worst relationship I've ever had due to maturity, goal and emotional issues.


M.

Women don't really bother me. I could always handle them in some way.

What annoys me more is heterosexual men who behave like politically correct p**** knights. Nothing is more annoying than a sexually frustrated, uptight straight man with average looks and bland personality as well as severe inferiority complex and nitpicking tendencies.
Those types are the ones I truly detest. The ones who display jealousy and hatred towards me because I can actually communicate with women easily.

There is a not very subtle statistical gender difference.

It would be an oversimplification to say that the Love and Dating forum consists of aspie women talking about problems in their relationships and aspie men who never have any relationships, but not much of an oversimplification. No, it isn't the aspie guy's fault he isn't appealing.

Still, a couple of things need to be kept in mind.

There are exceptions, and every exception is a living breathing person just the same as I am.

Just because somebody doesn't have the same problems I have doesn't mean they don't have any problems.

Hal - just wanted to comment, that seems like a better outlook than I've encountered from you when the subject has come up elsewhere/elsewhen... a much more objective, even, and honest approach. Was nice to read, I must admit.


M.

What I'm doing is planning on having a successful life financially or working on my music and becoming famous. there i'll say it flat out. Why do you think some many girls like Craig Nicols who also has aspergers. because he is a famous singer that's why. If he didnt have a successful life he'll be in the same position as one of us more than likely. If aspie men wanna win at the dating game. we musnt play the game...that we can do but its difficult, stressful and we dont understand. we must do something with our lives that interest women. whether it is being famous, helping others, having lots of money (many women not all are interested in that), or something like an actor......We should use our obsessions and interest to our advantage and do something with our lives with it.
I mean...how many bill gates are there? ...............exactly my point. women dont care how weird you are when you are famous or have some good money in your pocket.
But beware.....they might just be using you.....but oh well it's all worth it...i think

I will be married for 17 years this 31st of May. The divorce will be final around early September of this year... My wife would of left ~ 10 years ago but used me to support her while she went through 6 years of college then launch her business... Now that she has her college education and her business is taking off where she is making ~20k+ a year now... she will be leaving to hook up with an old flame... Her parents died last year, her dad on her birthday and her mom a few weeks later... triggered a midlife crisis that she has this biological clock that is saying that she needs to run off and live like she was a teenager to early 20's and do some stuff she didnt do the first time around...

in spite of knowing this I still remained and stuck by... kids involved and I believed it was the right thing to do... I have been loyal, committed, best friend and such, protector, sharing a life together, experiences and such, supporting one another and such... respect her quirks (shes an aspie)... I can leave her go because I can lover her so to be able to do that... That is what she wants to do and it will make her happy... My major concern is for the children but they are older now and one is an adult...

I am not all that good to look at but I do get women comming onto me from time to time... I do not know why exactly but it always seems to be they want to hook up, competitiveness things because I'm taken ans they want to see if they can seduce me see if their seduction abilities is stronger than my resolve in remaining faithful, even if my wife is asexual... I can maintain my self in spite what emotional state my ex is in, I will tell things as they are but also be gentle... firm but not a push over... I am not the best at social graces, I have some difficulty with communications but I do make an attempt, making progress but like wine,,, getting better with age...

She will be an ex- for a reason.... Anyways, when/if i do enter into a relationship with another woman, there is a lot I have to offer...

And to be bitter? There is no bitterness or condemnation here... I do not want others to suffer because of me... I will not bea doormat either and there is a time to be nice and gentle and a time to be firm and constructive-combatitive (closest word to meaning of what I am wanting to convey).

Let's say there is a sample of 10 Aspie males and 10 Aspie females. Let's say they all went to a bar or club or some other place NTs frequent. Now let's say that each individual spends time hanging out at the bar/counter/table. Is there really anyone who believes that the Aspie guys would get hit on more than the Aspie women?