Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

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Joined: 11 Dec 2013
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22 Dec 2018, 3:56 am

There’s society rules that say you can’t. Everyone will judge you for dating a younger woman. Call you a cradle robber or say your just manipulating her basically anything but that she just likes you, she had to been tricked or abused

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 4:01 am

sly279 wrote:

Depends on the age difference, and maybe where you reside. If you as a 30 year-old dated an 18 year-old then yeah maybe, but you'd probably be able to get away with dating a woman my age or at very least 25 without receiving those attitudes. Even if people do say things like that, ultimately it's only the opinions of the two people in the relationship that matter

sly279
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22 Dec 2018, 4:13 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

sly279 wrote:

I got those attitudes for wanting to date a 23 year old when I was 28.
Not much difference between a 18/19 old and a 22 year old.
Eventually title cause the woman to reconsider the relationship
There’s no such view for women dating younger men.
A 25 year old sleeps with a 13 year old and people congrats the kid and say nothing’s wrong with it
Young men and boys are consider matured and women considered naive and unable to think for themselves oddly it’s the opposite. Women mature faster then men

Aspie19828
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22 Dec 2018, 6:59 am

The cold hard reality is there are many men that have absolutely no chance in regards to dating for a number of reasons. Reasons are not excuses, if the women reject them, the women reject them. Many guys will be rejected by women for a number of reason beyond our control. We will have to live out our lives on our own and just accept the fact that women do not want us. Changes like take a shower, wear better clothes or be more positive and other nonsense advice do not change a thing. Some of the guys that attract women are criminals, wife bashers and total scum bags and are better than all guys that never attract women. I believe luck plays a huge role in whether men attract women or not!

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 7:32 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

sly279 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

sly279 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

sly279 wrote:

I’m fine being chubby, I just know most women won’t date chubby men, they want thin men, especially thin women.

So try for chubby women then. Women who are fatter than you will be even more likely to be interested in you, so if you want to maximise your chances of finding someone, go for women who are fatter than you.

You think I haven’t?
Chubby women want handsom athletic thin men too. I’ve seen quite a few obese women with thin men, though I assume they were obese when first met.
Like I’ve aaid I don’t ask out or message thin women I know there’s no way in hell they’d date me but chubby women won’t either so I’d have to get thin and athletic to just be attractive to chubby women how’s that for fair?
Yes I know life’s not fair I’m very awar if it it’s been unfair to me my whole life, but it pokes holes in the whole go for women like you logic.

How many women do you meet in real life? Sure there might be some at your work but what about aside from that?

Women don’t meet me, I’m not good enough to talk to. Only ones who talk to me are cashiers when I’m checking out.
Everyone on buss gives me nasty looks if I even look their way same with women on the street. Everyone keeps to themselves.
Women at work leave their department to talk to other guys never me, I’m not allowed to talk to them.

It is very rare that people will meet their significant other, or even a new friend on the bus or on the street. Before you decide that women are indefinitely contemptuous towards you, you'd be better off meeting some in a social setting and trying to befriend them and taking an interest in them and their lives without expecting anything to evolve into a romantic relationship. You've said that you don't have many/any friends either, so your problem can't just be with women. Perhaps you're not putting yourself in enough social situations to meet and befriend people. Work is not a social situation. The bus is not a social situation. The street is not a social situation. Those being the sum of your "social" experiences doesn't provide a solid foundation to say that women and people in general aren't interested in being around you. I know you'll probably come up with a reason why you can't, but put yourself in social situations that inherently involve talking to and getting to know the same people recurringly and just see what happens, maybe even make that your new year's resolution. You can't expect other people to do all the work, and you can't expect to meet other people if the extent to which you see them is only on the bus, on the street and at work.

To be fair, there’s a significant age difference between you and sly.

I relate to sly.

Look, when I was your age, I did have a better social life; through college mainly, and most people at this age were single (and I assume the same for you), by single i mean unmarried.

After college and when friends start getting married, things change, the married friend have far less time to see you now, maybe once every while and the gap time starts to increase until you no longer meet this friend.

And the same thing repeats with other friends, their number start to dwindle rapidly, far faster than gaining new friends if ever.

The older you get, the more the people around your age are less open to new friendships especially if they’re married, most eventually seal their social circle with few (probably married too) friends and have no interest at all to expand it.

So the older you stay single, the less you have friends left, and leas friends mean less chance to meet people and women in particular through friends of friends.

My social life onset was probably between 2011 and 2012, and it started to go downhill ever since.

Now I am at my bottom social wise and I see no prospect of improvement. Everyone is “locked” in their social circle.

Okay, fair call, I didnt consider the age difference, but there's no law that says you can't have friends or partners who are different ages to you, and if you are going somewhere social like a meet-up group where the specific purpose is to socialise then everyone is there to meet new people, so the 30s not wanting to make new friendships becomes a moot point in that regard because the people wouldn't show up if they were closed off to making new friends.

All the meetups of my interests are always total sausage fests lol.

Here, take a look:

Totally sausage fest:
https://www.meetup.com/UnityLebanon/members/ 37 women out of 498 members (and I have seen only 3 in most actual meetups)

https://www.meetup.com/LebGameDev/members/ 9 women over 146

That one is more mixed, but I no long go to loud movies due to my Tinnitus, but still sausage festy, and most come as couples here:
https://www.meetup.com/Thursday-movie-n ... e/members/

Even in that transformation group , I counted 87 women out of total 405

https://www.meetup.com/Beirut-Self-Tran ... p/members/

There's more, but women at best are around less than 30% of a group, most groups even less than 10%.

Prometheus18
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22 Dec 2018, 7:46 am

Regarding the past few pages if this discussion, I don't understand why people still think that being skinny is attractive. I have a BMI of about 18 (slightly underweight) and would be actively put off by a woman with a BMI less than 20.

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 7:55 am

New math. A small number of people equals 0 people.

A small number of people is too small to even find one friend.
[/sarcasm]

HighLlama
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22 Dec 2018, 8:01 am

Prometheus18 wrote:

We're attracted to what we're attracted to for reasons beyond our control or awareness. Better to enjoy the ride than agonize over it.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2018, 8:24 am

hurtloam wrote:

New math. A small number of people equals 0 people.

A small number of people is too small to even find one friend.
[/sarcasm]

Nope, but a small people of the opposite sex = less probability to find a potential partner.

Finding friends is a gender agnostic thing.

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 8:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

New math. A small number of people equals 0 people.

A small number of people is too small to even find one friend.
[/sarcasm]

Nope, but a small people of the opposite sex = less probability to find a potential partner.

Finding friends is a gender agnostic thing.

Especially when there's more men to choose from for the few women who are there.

Aspie19828
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22 Dec 2018, 9:07 am

Being an incel is a black hole: at the age of 20, 25, 30 or beyond there is a point you realise you have absolutely no hope and just give up and accept the reality of your situation. More single guys and less available single women in most cities/towns and it is a simple mathematical equation where some guys just remain undateable regardless of what job they do or their personality. There are some losers/jerks that have just got lucky and beaten the system, where other guys that are better than them remain undateable.

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 9:09 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

New math. A small number of people equals 0 people.

A small number of people is too small to even find one friend.
[/sarcasm]

Nope, but a small people of the opposite sex = less probability to find a potential partner.

Finding friends is a gender agnostic thing.

Especially when there's more men to choose from for the few women who are there.

But it's still worth the effort. I didn't say it wouldn't be difficult.

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 9:19 am

hurtloam wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

New math. A small number of people equals 0 people.

A small number of people is too small to even find one friend.
[/sarcasm]

Nope, but a small people of the opposite sex = less probability to find a potential partner.

Finding friends is a gender agnostic thing.

Especially when there's more men to choose from for the few women who are there.

But it's still worth the effort. I didn't say it wouldn't be difficult.

As men who never have any luck with women, particularly if meeting women is our only motivation to go to these things, we want exceptional odds. If there are more men there than women as in a 70-30 split, it's fair to assume that if the women are to meet someone from that group to be with that they can do better than us. On the other hand, if there's more women than men and it's a 70-30 split, there's probably more women in total than the first group and as such there's more chance of finding a woman we're compatible with, and there's less competition in the form of other men. It's pretty clear which of the two would be preferable

hurtloam
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22 Dec 2018, 9:24 am

The go to those groups then.

Boo doesn't think anyone should bother with any social groups. That's what I'm arguing with.

The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Dec 2018, 9:27 am

hurtloam wrote:

The go to those groups then.

Boo doesn't think anyone should bother with any social groups. That's what I'm arguing with.

My impression was that the point he was making was more similar to mine

IsabellaLinton
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22 Dec 2018, 9:35 am

sly279 wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Nope, I don't have a steady boyfriend.
I was seeing someone a few months ago and we are still friends, if that's what you're thinking.

Thought you said you have kids?

You mean the young men in my house last night? They were my nephew's band mates. I helped to raise my nephew because my brother adopted him as a single father, and needed support. My nephew doesn't live with me but I see him all the time and I love him like my own child.

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