Do you feel unattractive?

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Physically: Yes
Emotionally: Yes
Mentally: Yes

I have zero self esteem, and am desperately trying to figure out how to get help for it. It's a very serious and real problem for me. There isn't really any feature, physically, emotionally or mentally about myself in which I am happy with.

Except for my lips, I like my lips and the shape of my lower legs.

I do, because no matter how much I work on my appearance, focus on my career goals (which I'm very close to achieving at this point), and no matter how much I try to reason with people and save even a friendship, I fail. I have been more assertive with people, but I get accused of manipulation.

I can't maintain an relationship with an NT because I can't be lumped into a certain social clique or class. I can't maintain a relationship with another Aspie because the other person may be unwilling to compromise, and many people on the spectrum are asexual. I can't find people with the same interests because many of them are artsy hipsters with left-wing political views and don't want to date Republican-voting Christians like me (and according to my mom, very few women--even NT ones--have the same interests as me anyway). I can't find fellow Republican-voting Christians because they shun me for having the interests that I do.

And it seems like everyone I talk to online lives on either the West Coast or Northeast. Here I am in buck-nekkid San Marcos, Texas, which is a crappy place to meet people, despite being sandwiched in between two major metro areas.

If you have low self esteem you could have people lined up to tell you that you were beautiful and you still would never feel it. I think the only thing worse than having low self esteem is overcompensating for it. I wish I knew how to overcome it but the scars run very very deep.

In my case, I was accused of having a "weak" personality because I complained about the ultra-strict standards that a woman I was pursuing had. She was one of these "If Mr. Perfect doesn't exist, I'm content with being a crazy cat lady" people. She wasn't going to compromise on anything, and I was trying to negotiate with her, and was trying to convince her that even though I wasn't Mr. Perfect, I could still be good enough. She then accused me of trying to manipulate her.

She kept changing the story about personality. First, she said that one has to be born with it, then she said that it could be improved upon, then she went back to saying that you had to be born with it. Then she told a friend that my personality was fine.

She would point out all the flaws I had (and, in reality, most likely didn't have), when hers were full-center and couldn't be any more obvious.

She was only 100 miles away, an easy 2 hour drive down mostly rural roads with a 70 mph speed limit that is rarely enforced anyway. Yet she acted as if it was halfway around the world.

She said she would "never disappear without a reason", but, in reality, gave me the silent treatment. She stopped answering my e-mails and blocked me from IM, and I know I never did anything to cause her any harm or discomfort. I only got one last e-mail because I asked a friend to e-mail her, and instead of apologizing for not explaining what was going on, she was angry for giving my friend her e-mail address, despite the fact that I was doing it as a concerned friend, yet she acted as if I were some crazed stalker out to cause her harm.

I lost her as a friend because of something that wasn't my fault.

Tim Tex wrote:

That was the closure. I am still offended that she would act like that toward me. She used to be understanding and empathetic, but she suddenly became defensive and self-centered.

^ But it still seems like it's on your mind a lot, which is why I thought you didn't have closure. I can relate-I never got closure from my son's father but I'm happy that now I don't even think about him.

I thought she was going to be the one I would spend the rest of my life with, but she wanted a relationship that was devoid of burdens and inconveniences. No relationship is like that, and when I tried to tell her that, she wouldn't listen, and she accused me of being manipulative.

I am hideous! No one could ever love me!

Constantly.

Physically: depends
Emotionally: a bit
Mentally: probably

Often. I know I'm no Mr. Handsome or anything.

Yeah, I'm ugly as elephant shite (without the smell!) and never really bond with any of the women I meet in day to day life. I'm a bit of a loser to be honest. I just feel as though I'm rather missing something out of life itself. But whatever. I'm in danger of becoming a bit self-pitying this evening - f**k that. Let's go!

I don't exactly feel unattractive. But my stigma is that people I like never like me back [I have a horrible habit of attracting their friends, though *headdesk*]. And when I have someone that I really do care about, I'm a really bad girlfriend. I can't give my other the affection that they want and I usually just end up hurting people. So I tend to be fairly passive when it comes to such matters. If I attract, I attract, if I don't I stay away