What do you think are some major causes of Aspie rejection?

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In the American South, and in urban areas with a lot of Southern transplants, "boy" (pronounced "boah") is a mild form of denigration, sort of like "dude" with an extra edge. It generally connotes a sense that the person being addressed that way is lower in social rank or experience than the speaker.

Personally, I found it kind of funny and ballsy that you used it that way, I thought you were using it in that sense intentionally.

As a side note, it also has some racial history here, where pre-Civil Rights, whites would use it in much of the sense above to address black people. So in the U.S., it would now be culturally inappropriate (and possibly inflammatory) to use it when addressing a black person if you are not black, even in jest.

I live in the south & "boy" is a term of endearment like "brother" or "friend". The phrase "my boy" is like the white version of the phrase "my (insert black racist slang word here)"

Hooray for cultural diversity! *waves pom poms*

But is there not also some patronizing aspect of it? For instance, would someone younger ever call someone older, especially significantly older, "boy?" Reminds me of the Korean language, where status and age affect what words you use when addressing someone.

thanks billsmithglendale! i definitely meant it as an insult, but i didn't know the cultural differences in usage. i definitely wouldn't mean it in any kind of racial way.

this is fun. i like this thread now!

Speaking for myself (but it might apply to some other aspies as well) first, I have no job and thus no independent money source and can't drive,so I'm not much of a catch as far as money is concearned. That and I like to know people online first,I don't socalize offline with anyone until I know them well.

I just thought I'd add something regarding weight loss...

It's not about WHAT you eat, it's about HOW MUCH you eat. I'm a 5'5 guy and used to weigh 202 pounds. I ate less and now weigh 138 pounds, which is a healthy weight for me. The secret is simply eating less. You can eat whatever you want, as long as you don't eat much of it. Learn about calories and estimate the calories of all the food you eat, and eat 1300 calories in a day maximum. It will suck for the first week or so, you will be hungry a lot, but after that your stomach shrinks and you are INCAPABLE of eating the amount you did previously, and it feels totally natural and satiating to eat less. (this is obviously not a license to eat until you're 'full', but it will no longer be such an effort to eat less)

Look at drinks very closely, most drinks (other than water) have a s**t ton of calories and you may be drinking like 30% of your daily calorie intake. Especially look at milk and soda. Try to drink only water, or if you must drink other stuff subtract the calories from your food intake.

Honestly it's that f*****g easy.

If it were that easy, wouldn't everyone be thin?

People differ in terms of genetic pre-disposition or diseases.

A common example of this is a condition in women that pre-disposes to obescity and type 2 diabeties (amongst other symptons) Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which you should be screened for Erisad as you do appear to have the archetypal body shape for it. If that is the case then you will find that weight loss is a greater struggle for you then for others who do not have the condition, but it is not impossible it just requires a lifestyle change. A lifestyle change only occurs if you have made a fundamental decision to change as a person. So it is mostly down to willpower to want to achieve the outcome you desire.

Certain population groups have higher risks then others. In the case of the indian sub continent its down to diet and the excessive use of oils, fats and coconut milk (one of the most unhealthiest foods you can eat coconut) In the case of the island populations of the mediterranian (Sardinia, Corsica, Cyprus, Crete etc) it's down to genetic pre-dispositions.

The western world has some appauling food sources created from the over processing of food. e.g. white bread, trans-fats etc. When native americains were exposed to european diets they were found to be susceptible to heavy weight gain and type 2 diabeties due to a lack of historic exposure within their gene pool to such foods.

The bottom line is if you don't put too much food in your mouth it is scientifically impossible to be fat.

The body requires around 1500-2000 calories just to stay alive, sitting around doing nothing. If you eat less than that the body burns fat.

Thinking about it in this way lowers the mental barrier to making the effort, because if you tell a fat person:

a) Give up any and all forms of 'bad' food that they love
b) Eat a lot less and
c) Exercise very hard

They will always think weight loss is an epic undertaking and put it off, or give up after a little while or something.

Granted if you do all of the above you will lose wight faster and be better off, but I don't see a dramatic 180 coming, do you?

The simple fact is if you don't put it in your mouth you won't be fat. Polycystic ovary syndrome, thyroid problems, genetic predispositon etc are irrelevant if your body doesn't have the stuff to convert into fat in the first place.

Bottom line: <1300 calories daily, you WILL lose weight. If not, you're doing it wrong.

Pretty much sums it up. The body has to pull that fat from somewhere, and its not thin air. Although noone big ever seems to listen when I try to bring up the Gabriel Method. Google it.

Look, I thank you for wanting to help but I'm kind of getting tired of everyone PMing me and telling me their little secret to weight loss. It's a little overwhelming and I'm getting confused from all the advice. I'm pretty sure I don't have a disease and I don't want to pay a specialist thousands of dollars to run tests about it. I don't have the money for that stuff right now. I'm a college student with means I don't have money to throw around. I know y'all are trying to help and I'm not trying to be mean but just let me do my diet and exercise thing for a year and see how that goes. THEN maybe I'll go to a doctor. I still don't trust them. They just want my money, they don't want to see me get better. :/

I dont think you have polycystic ovaries, women with that usually have facial hair and acne.

If money is a big problem look up your local OA (overeaters annoymous) group as it is free and they usually have several meetings a week and can be quite helpful and supportive.

Um...a little light peach fuzz grows on my face every once in a while but I thought that's natural since I'm a mammal. I did have terrible acne until I changed my diet and acne products. Now I has pretty skin.

I may look into one of those groups. To be honest, I don't think I'm eating as much as I used to anyway. When I start taking my Adderall again in the fall, my appetite will shrink even further so I should be okay.

Great, clear thinking.



Sorry but I don't. Most people I see around me aren't very bright. But I don't call their lack of intelligence a neurological disorder. It's just that some people are better at some things and other people are better at other things. I happen to be quite good at analytical reasoning and not so good at socializing. This is not a neurological disorder. It is simply my strengths and weaknesses.

And now I will answer your question. Women are attracted to the men who are evolutionarily optimal. What is optimal varies depending on conditions and women are designed to be attracted to men who are most likely to be best for spreading her genes given the current conditions. There are two factors that determine genetic success, survival and reproduction. A man contributes to survival by providing for his family. A man increases his reproductive impact by seducing many women. In a society where survival is guaranteed, survival skills have no value. A woman benefits genetically from mating with a promiscuous man because her sons will likely be promiscuous and so will spread her genes. Of course the degree to which seduction works as a reproductive strategy also largely depends on the rules of society. In a society where adultery (meaning sex with another man's wife) is punished with death, seduction has some evolutionary drawbacks. We live in a society where adultery is protected (thanks to feminism), where not only survival, but comfort is guaranteed to women by affirmative action and alimony and child support. So now the types of men here, whose analytical skills are stronger than their social skills, are primarily providers, not seducers. As such, we have low appeal to women in feminist cultures. But in non-feminist culture where the government doesn't provide for women and where promiscuity is not protected by the government, providers like ourselves have more appeal to women.



Just to give my experience on this, I went after fat ugly women in America and was rejected. I wasn't that concerned about looks. When I went to Mexico, I was thrilled to talk to any women who weren't hostile. My wife was a Levi's model in Mexico, but I didn't pick her for her looks. I picked her basically because she was nice to me. What a different world from America!

So to summarize, the cause of the problem is feminism, and the solution is to date women in non-feminist countries.

Last edited by fs on 22 Aug 2010, 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Facial hair?
I have polycystic ovaries and have never had facial hair. They are often fat around the middle though. I hate it.