Is it ever okay to look at a women's breasts?

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Thankyou.

My eyes wander there sometimes, I can't help it. I still feel as if, in general, I'm in the right if I:

* never look at them more than a couple of times, or for more than half a second
* never look at them while talking to a girl (I try to alternate looking at or between the eyes with looking to the side)
* never move my head to look at them

This holds pretty much regardless of how the woman is dressed, except perhaps the way the woman is dressed may naturally cause me to look there more often. Any corrections to this are welcome.

I can't help but look at women's tits and their nice arse. Their fault for wearing those tight legging trousers.

oh, you "can't help" it?

well, then, i'm sure you will understand that i "can't help" if my knee were to reflexively squash a pair of testicles attached to a guy who "can't help but look".

it wouldn't be on purpose! after all, i "can't help it"... it's the guy's fault for looking in the first place...

It's disrespectful to look (with lewd/objectifying intentions), but I'm not sure if that's a fair exchange.

the punishment fits the crime.... if it isn't a deterrent, then the punishment would not be severe enough. do you think a harsh look would stop a guy like that? how about some stern words?

i doubt you have ever been objectified, and i don't think you've ever been sexually harassed or raped, so how can you judge an appropriate exchange? to many women this is on the same continuum...

i think IndispensablePG either did not read the volatile nature of the comments on this thread and was thus making an uninformed comment, or he was intentionally throwing flames. either way, it'll get a reaction from me...

You're either are ignorant or not comfortable with your sexuality. Allow me to answer using common sense.

Why do women wear thongs? To feel sexy.
Why tight leggings? To feel sexy.
Is this slu*ty? No, just feminist dogma.

If I find a lady passerby attractive, I'm going to look. I am not breaking any boundaries like copping a feel on her bum or trying to rape her, so I fail to see why a law abiding heterosexual like me should be beaten up by feminist morons for being naturally attractive to women.

i am neither ignorant nor uncomfortable with my own sexuality. nice try though.

do you actually think that all, or even most, women wear certain items of clothing to feel sexy? you know not of what you speak. one day, you will mature and realize that the world does not revolve around men's sexuality. or you'll just get kneed in the nuts. one or the other...

She has a point. Some women wear thongs so there's no panty lines. My girlfriend doesn't like the very tight pants, but it's not her fault considering she has a latin booty and pants for women are made the same way for most women...

I do understand that if a women wants to get attention from men, she'll get attention from men. But sometimes they'll always be those who can't control their urges. Basically I've learned socially, if you're with a group of guys, you can speak your mind and say things like "damn, that chick is fine i'd like to get all up in that" but if you're in front of a lady, you respect the lady.

There is no innate tendency for women to smash the balls of any man who looks at them. There is an innate tendency for men to look at women, especially when they are showing off.


How exactly is a glance equivalent to smashed balls?


Quite probably.


Almost certainly.

I'm curious, why would you think otherwise?


If you think he was trolling, the appropriate response would be to ignore the troll.

And I think he can be excused for not following the entirety of this thread. It is, after all, 10 pages long at this point.

While you're having sex with her, then it's likely to be alright

But TBH, I don't see why girls don't like being complimented anyway. If a girl complimented any feature of my physical appearance, I wouldn't be offended

well, first off, there is a distinction between looking and glancing. on page 3 of this thread, i explained that a glance that is imperceptible to the woman could be acceptable. but sneaking a glance is not the same thing as looking outright.

what i am really saying is that it is dehumanizing and upsetting to be treated like a sex object. i was trying to say that a guy can't understand what it feel like to be near-constantly sexualized by society. but it came out wrong. it doesn't feel too great to know that simply having breasts means that i am a walking sex object. i want to be a person first.

for a guy to state that he 'can't help' but look is sickening to me. men who take sexual advantage of women (or other men) in real-life, physical ways often blame the victim or say that they 'couldn't help it' because the person was so attractive to them - in exactly the same way this poster said it. people need to move past the idea that they have any right to dehumanize other people. yes, a knee to the nuts is an extreme reaction... in fact it could be called a knee-jerk reaction.

stern words or harsh looks don't work by the way. men just laugh at you when you do that.

on a different note, it was not a fair statement earlier on, when i said a man could not understand what it felt like to be sexually harassed or raped. men account for 9 percent of all rape victims, so that was an unfair generalization. honestly, it was a sexist assumption on my part.

Hyperlexian, I do think you're exaggerating a bit by assuming that a guy finding you attractive = you being seen as a sexual object.

If a girl stared at me, I wouldn't be upset in the slightest. It'll never happen, of course, but hey.

Here's the problem -- how can I know what is imperceptible? Just because a guy thinks he's being subtle and undetectable doesn't mean the girl won't notice.


I don't see how a look becomes treating someone like a sex object. I also don't see how it could be dehumanizing.

I can see how it might become rude, if the look becomes a stare.


Guys really can't help looking. We are programmed to look.

Staring, drooling, stalking, grabbing, raping -- these things can be helped.

The problem is that some men out there would stare at her like a sex object, while some men out there would only stare at her because she's attractive or possibly they saw her doing something/talking about something interesting...

BUT there's no easy way to tell short of the woman reading the man's mind.