So how do I get a boyfriend?

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It's great your trying to lose weight Erisad but I think you need to quit focusing on having a relationship. There's lots of members here who would be interested in you but you write people off with your negative judgmental attitude. You have some serious self-esteem issues but instead of trying to correct your problems; you rant here about how men are not interested in you because of your weight & when people tell you that is not the cause you basically accuse em of lying. You are letting your parents determine how you live your life & what you will or will not do with a guy that you are dating. You are also worried about having kids when you do not even have a guy. With these kinds of issues; it's no wonder guys are not interested in a relationship with you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but I think you need to quit playing the victim & start trying to work on yourself. A relationship will NOT solve your problems. You need to learn to be comfortable alone before you can have a good relationship with someone because you will only bring the other person down & then you would both feel worse. You said you need a partner who's stable but you need to make yourself stable to

God, I'm going through a rough time right now and badgering me isn't going to help. It's going to make me close up even more. I was starting to feel better before you posted this. You basically told me that I have no hope of ever finding and maintaining love. I know it's not the "cure-all" for everything but Jesus, calm the f**k down and leave me alone. :/

I am NOT saying that you have no chance at love. I am saying that you need to improve your situation before you find a relationship. I wish people would of had the guts to tell me this 6+ years ago because it would of really helped me out

I've been told that I have no shot at it all my life, all right? I've had multiple guys say to my face that no one will ever want me because of my body and unwillingness to put out. How much can I really improve my situation right now? Until I graduate, I'm stuck. I want to be able to enjoy my last year of college but I'm so f*****g stressed out. This year will be my last where I'll be able to openly associate with the opposite sex. I'll be trapped at home until I get a job. When I get one, I won't be allowed to look at the male coworkers because office relationships will cause me to lose my job and I'll have to start over at square one.

You know what? f**k this. I don't care anymore. You win. Happy now?

As I said before there's lots of guys would be interested in you but you rule them out & then b!tch about how you cant find anyone. If you really wanted someone; you would be willing to give others a chance. When people try to help you accuse em of lying. You do not want a boy-friend or a relationship; you want to play the victim & have everyone feel sorry for you. Lots of people here been true though sh!t including me. I used to rant & complain a lot myself about how no women would give me a chance & I still do but I'm starting to take responsibility & work on myself & I am felling beter about things after I realized that my constant negative feel sorry for me attitude was NOT helping my situation

Just because I don't give in to every "white knight" on WP doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. I feel like no matter what I post here, you'll continue to tell me that I'm a bad person just because I bitched too much today. Apparently no one's allowed to have a bad day. I've been positive on the forums up until last night when s**t hit the fan. I'll recover, all right? Geeze. :/

I'm NOT saying you are a bad person. I know how you feel about people not being allowed to have a bad day. I've had lots of those myself & that's why I'm posting on this stuff. I know this is not stuff you want to hear but it's stuff that you should hear. After you calm down a bit & stuff sinks in & you really consider it a bit; you might be surprised

Uh...it's hardly "very negative" to be honest about your experiences and how they make you feel as a person.
I've found that at best, most men will not date fat women, and at worst, they make them the butt of disgusting jokes and humiliating pranks.
Still others say they don't mind "curves", and insist that a skinny porn babe with big boobs and a butt is an example of having curves.


Not everyone can WILL themselves to not want things, and of those who can, I doubt they wanted them that much.
Getting married and having children for Erisad (and me) is a very basic life goal, just like having a career and/or education for others. It's not something it'd be "nice" to have, but no biggie if not.

Getting a boyfriend is ok. Keeping one is impossible. From my experience, men do not know how to deal with women with severe depression and/or emotional problems, and it's easier just to cut them off or make it look like its their own fault.

I've had friends cut me off for crying in the street when I was emotionally vulnerable and depressed. That's what I have grown to expect from men. One day, maybe i'll be proven wrong. I hope so.

Thank you! I wanted to say this but was a bit too emotional to get it across. I see my friends and family get married and have relationships and I feel inadequate because I can't do the same. That's pretty much all I wanted to say.

It's been my experience that women do not want guys who are depressed. Women who are depressed themselves tell me that they don"t want to be with me because I'm depressed. Lots of people are hypocritical

So....looks never matter, except in the nearly 70% of cases where they do:
http://www.cdc.gov/NCHS/data/hestat/obe ... _07_08.pdf

No argument here.

Yeah well that is stupid. I can deal with male depression. Who am I to expect a happy happy guy when I'm as depressed as f*ck.
People like that make me sick.

ooops. you had some other good advice on your post, but i got stuck on this part....

obese & overweight =/= universally unattractive

some guys, like yourself, may like to have thinner girls. great! i'm sure there are lots of girls in the normal weight range who will appreciate knowing that. but some other guys like their girls with some cushioning (or lots of cushioning). it's all personal taste... and lots of guys are just waiting to be converted to the chubby side.

i'm not special - i am not stunningly goodlooking or whatever. but i'm proud of the way i am currently shaped, and i really really really wanted to emphasize to the other big girls that read posts like yours on WP that they really can be just as successful as any skinny girl in the dating world. confidence is integral to that.

i didn't want your comment to bring them down. the rest of your advice seemed great, but my eye got stuck on this part.

It's not entirely true...the fat part isn't anyway. There are actually men out there that prefer fat women, and there is a large cultural factor as well.

If you want brute politically incorrect honesty....

In a broad sense general term.
White men like skinny or average women.
Black men like heavier women.
Latino men just like women. They seem to care much less about whether she is heavy or thin.

I think "ugly" often depends more on how you present yourself than how your facial features actually look. Sure, some people are just plain ugly and no amount of fixing up is going to help them, but they're in the minority.