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how important are looks to you in a partner?

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emlion
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24 Feb 2011, 11:12 am

That's an interesting point.
I don't think i'd like to date someone thinner than me.
I never thought about that before.



Gremmie
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24 Feb 2011, 11:14 am

I actually mostly agree with this... If a guy was significantly taller he could probably get away with it, but I'm never really attracted to guys who seem smaller than me. It's probably because my brain then makes me feel like a hippo in comparison... :oops:



Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 12:00 pm

Gremmie wrote:
I actually mostly agree with this... If a guy was significantly taller he could probably get away with it, but I'm never really attracted to guys who seem smaller than me. It's probably because my brain then makes me feel like a hippo in comparison... :oops:


This would actually explain a lot of things, besides my AS, my weight/bone structure is by far my biggest major flaw. My legs in particular are awful, perhaps even shocking.

I've done everything I can to try and improve the situation through weight training, I'm actually quite strong, but unfortunately my genetics don't really allow me to get much bigger.

Gawd, I feel awful now...maybe I should start hanging out in "The Haven" instead...



Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 12:13 pm

I dated a dude that was half my weight at the time before and I don't think that was an issue. At least with me anyways but then again we never got around to having sex anyway. >.>



Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 1:08 pm

Erisad wrote:
I dated a dude that was half my weight at the time before and I don't think that was an issue. At least with me anyways but then again we never got around to having sex anyway. >.>


Maybe there's hope then.

The worst part about it is that NO woman would ever admit that she doesn't want to date you because you're too thin.

Since I seem to have most of the other "desirability" bases covered, this would really explain a lot of things.

I guess I should really start thinking about getting a cat...



Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 1:21 pm

Grisha wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I dated a dude that was half my weight at the time before and I don't think that was an issue. At least with me anyways but then again we never got around to having sex anyway. >.>


Maybe there's hope then.

The worst part about it is that NO woman would ever admit that she doesn't want to date you because you're too thin.

Since I seem to have most of the other "desirability" bases covered, this would really explain a lot of things.

I guess I should really start thinking about getting a cat...


Most women will admit to not wanting a man who is too "small," a word that can imply height, thickness or the size of his member. Ambiguity is a huge part of the human language, even if the speaker isn't aware of it. Since you're tall, I don't think she can use this as an excuse without sounding really rude. She might say that you're "not her type" or that she "doesn't see you that way." There are a lot of reasons people are rejected that never seem to need an explanation. Odd.

Granted, this is a shallow concept to begin with. I don't understand why this might be, despite being a girl. Maybe I'm too honest for my own good. D:



emlion
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24 Feb 2011, 1:22 pm

I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.



Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 1:33 pm

Erisad wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I dated a dude that was half my weight at the time before and I don't think that was an issue. At least with me anyways but then again we never got around to having sex anyway. >.>


Maybe there's hope then.

The worst part about it is that NO woman would ever admit that she doesn't want to date you because you're too thin.

Since I seem to have most of the other "desirability" bases covered, this would really explain a lot of things.

I guess I should really start thinking about getting a cat...


Most women will admit to not wanting a man who is too "small," a word that can imply
height, thickness or the size of his member. Ambiguity is a huge part of the human language, even if the speaker isn't aware of it. Since you're tall, I don't think she can use this as an excuse without sounding really rude. She might say that you're "not her type" or that she "doesn't see you that way." There are a lot of reasons people are rejected that never seem to need an explanation. Odd.

Granted, this is a shallow concept to begin with. I don't understand why this might be, despite being a girl. Maybe I'm too honest for my own good. D:


I never demand or expect to be given a reason for a rejection, "no" is just "no" and I leave it and accept it as that. Although it can be extremely disappointing, I don't really get angry or think less of her - it just is what it is.

But that doesn't mean there actually wasn't a reason for rejecting me, I'm just beginning to wonder if my weight might be a big part of the problem...



bee33
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24 Feb 2011, 1:39 pm

Grisha wrote:
But that doesn't mean there actually wasn't a reason for rejecting me, I'm just beginning to wonder if my weight might be a big part of the problem...
I really wouldn't obsess over that if I were you. This is the first time I've seen this concern even brought up. Remember, you only need to find one women who appreciates you, you don't have to worry about the standards of all women.



Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 1:50 pm

emlion wrote:
I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.


It IS! That might be my saving grace. :P

Grisha - Well, you could start working out and eating more protein to build some muscle if you wanted to gain weight if it bothers you. Just so you know, there are girls that like tall and thin. One of my besties is marrying a tall, thin and nerdy guy because they love each other and he treats her well. And the fact that he has a wicked sense of humor and can cook like a boss doesn't hurt either. :P



emlion
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24 Feb 2011, 1:53 pm

stefan is tall and skinny, definitely my type.
if only he had more tattoos. damn sexy tattoos. ¬¬

i'm not sure why you have troubles Grisha!
you're attractive, smart, funny, nice.
i don't get it. >.<



Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 1:55 pm

emlion wrote:
stefan is tall and skinny, definitely my type.
if only he had more tattoos. damn sexy tattoos. ¬¬

i'm not sure why you have troubles Grisha!
you're attractive, smart, funny, nice.
i don't get it. >.<


Maybe he's like me where he communicates and projects confidence easier online than in real life. Having the internet as a shield is really helpful. >.>



Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 2:07 pm

Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.


It IS! That might be my saving grace. :P

Grisha - Well, you could start working out and eating more protein to build some muscle if you wanted to gain weight if it bothers you. Just so you know, there are girls that like tall and thin. One of my besties is marrying a tall, thin and nerdy guy because they love each other and he treats her well. And the fact that he has a wicked sense of humor and can cook like a boss doesn't hurt either. :P


But I do work out, I've sacrificed my entire living room to build a fully equipped free-weight gym, including a full-size power rack for leg development. My diet is 60% protein. I lift religiously 3x/week. I am very satisfied with my strength gains, but I am an extreme ectomorph and I struggle to put on any significant mass.

Just like everything else, I am committed to being the best I can be in this regard, but everyone has their limits.



Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 2:09 pm

Grisha wrote:
Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.


It IS! That might be my saving grace. :P

Grisha - Well, you could start working out and eating more protein to build some muscle if you wanted to gain weight if it bothers you. Just so you know, there are girls that like tall and thin. One of my besties is marrying a tall, thin and nerdy guy because they love each other and he treats her well. And the fact that he has a wicked sense of humor and can cook like a boss doesn't hurt either. :P


But I do work out, I've sacrificed my entire living room to build a fully equipped free-weight gym, including a full-size power rack for leg development. My diet is 60% protein. I lift religiously 3x/week. I am very satisfied with my strength gains, but I am an extreme ectomorph and I struggle to put on any significant mass.

Just like everything else, I am committed to being the best I can be in this regard, but everyone has their limits.


Then I dunno what to tell you. Have you talked to your doctor about this? >.>



Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 2:14 pm

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Maybe he's like me where he communicates and projects confidence easier online than in real life. Having the internet as a shield is really helpful. >.>


That is definitely true, the Internet is 100% verbal (in most cases) and you can carefully consider what you say before you say it, which reduces the anxiety caused by my limitations in "real-time" communication.

Here I can just be the "real" me. Too bad you can't cuddle with an iPad...



emlion
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24 Feb 2011, 2:15 pm

well, you can...but probably shouldn't. :lol: