I don't want to date poor people

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Bethie
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13 Mar 2011, 6:31 pm

The WP Love and Dating Section:

Where not only men and women are stereotyped,
but Aspies and NT's as well!


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emlion
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13 Mar 2011, 6:33 pm

Bethie wrote:
The WP Love and Dating Section:

Where not only men and women are stereotyped,
but Aspies and NT's as well!


tbf, generalization is a natural thing to do.
even though we shouldn't.



jamieboy
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13 Mar 2011, 6:34 pm

yep i like to think theres someone for everyone. Everyone's different and likes different people :)



Grisha
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13 Mar 2011, 6:39 pm

jamieboy wrote:
yep i like to think theres someone for everyone. Everyone's different and likes different people :)


Of course therebis someone for everyone, but for certain people the odds of actually meeting that person are negligible - essentially zero.

Be happy alone.

Forever.

Despite all the propaganda to the contrary, this is quite possible, and an excellent alternative to the misery of looking for a relationship or worse: actually finding one... :wink:



jamieboy
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13 Mar 2011, 6:43 pm

Grisha wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
yep i like to think theres someone for everyone. Everyone's different and likes different people :)


Of course therebis someone for everyone, but for certain people the odds of actually meeting that person are negligible - essentially zero.

Be happy alone.

Forever.

Despite all the propaganda to the contrary, this is quite possible, and an excellent alternative to the misery of looking for a relationship or worse: actually finding one... :wink:


Dude i dont have to worry. One of the ladies from this very forum is coming to visit me soon. I'm looking forward to that. 8)



Grisha
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13 Mar 2011, 6:50 pm

jamieboy wrote:
Grisha wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
yep i like to think theres someone for everyone. Everyone's different and likes different people :)


Of course therebis someone for everyone, but for certain people the odds of actually meeting that person are negligible - essentially zero.

Be happy alone.

Forever.

Despite all the propaganda to the contrary, this is quite possible, and an excellent alternative to the misery of looking for a relationship or worse: actually finding one... :wink:


Dude i dont have to worry. One of the ladies from this very forum is coming to visit me
soon. I'm looking forward to that. 8)


Awesome!

Make us proud! :)



wefunction
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13 Mar 2011, 7:04 pm

Grisha wrote:
wefunction wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Quote:
Guys like us just need to find women who can see past that.


Vanishingly rare to the point of practical non-existence, not even worth looking for IMO.


There are a lot of women out there who aren't superficial about income and simply prefer a man who appears confident, upfront and honest. You live in a place that's known to put wealth and plastic surgery as a priority in life. Where you live, men who are upfront, honest and genuinely confident are vanishingly rare to the point of practical non-existence. Some of us live in different places where people behave differently. Where I live, waiters tell people they're waiters, not actors.


1. You watch way too much reality TV. Newsflash: reality TV isn't real.

2. When you describe your "dream man" (whom you have found, and I sincerely congratulate you on that), you are NOT describing an Aspie, you are describing a stereotypical, textbook "Alpha". This isn't the news, it's the weather.

Aspie men are no more in demand where you are than where I am, it has zero to do with geography.


Who knew I'd completely hallucinated California and wasn't really there! Thanks, Grisha! :wink:

Who said the confident man was my "dream man"? The confident man is an attractive man. Aspies can very well be confident, honest and upfront. They just have to work on things like eye contact, shaking heads and speaking clearly. They have to practice and create these skills. It's not possible for everyone, but it's not impossible for as many that claim aspie men are doomed to be alone because they didn't pop out of the womb hitting on women.

Ooo, wait, let me do this too...

Newsflash: My husband is actually very shy.



Bethie
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13 Mar 2011, 7:05 pm

emlion wrote:
Bethie wrote:
The WP Love and Dating Section:

Where not only men and women are stereotyped,
but Aspies and NT's as well!


tbf, generalization is a natural thing to do.
even though we shouldn't.


I don't mind if people say "Most women I've met do X", or "A lot of the men I know say they like Y",
but when you make assertions about WOMEN, proper, and MEN, proper, you're speaking for billions of people you've never met and never will,
and that irks me.

Same goes for stereotyping NT's and Aspies.

Especially when subscribing to these stereotypes lead people into endless ruts of both despair and the self-righteousness of being wronged,
as in "Women don't respond to me as I wish they'd would. Must be my Aspergers. Darn women for not liking me and all the other Aspie guys."

Such a person has willfully blinded himself to a holistic view of his effect on people,
and therefore lost any hope he has of changing himself to achieve what he wants.


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Grisha
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13 Mar 2011, 7:36 pm

Bethie wrote:
"Women don't respond to me as I wish they'd would. Must be my Aspergers. Darn women for not liking me and all the other Aspie guys."


You know, I read this thread pretty carefully, but I couldn't find the part where women were criticized for not preferring Aspie guys as romantic partners.

Could you point it out to me?



Bethie
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13 Mar 2011, 8:02 pm

Grisha wrote:
Bethie wrote:
"Women don't respond to me as I wish they'd would. Must be my Aspergers. Darn women for not liking me and all the other Aspie guys."


You know, I read this thread pretty carefully, but I couldn't find the part where women were criticized for not preferring Aspie guys as romantic partners.

Could you point it out to me?


Whether in the thread or not, it's rampant on the site.

I for instance, resent it being implied that because I have a vagina,
I "nag" at men who don't own cars,
by strangers who don't know me from Adam.

It would seem that the rigid thinking associated with Autism often takes the form of people clinging to rigid stereotypes about people,
regardless of their factual basis,
as opposed to developing the intelligence to think about human beings as the individuals that they are.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Grisha
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13 Mar 2011, 8:08 pm

Bethie wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Bethie wrote:
"Women don't respond to me as I wish they'd would. Must be my Aspergers. Darn women for not liking me and all the other Aspie guys."


You know, I read this thread pretty carefully, but I couldn't find the part where women were criticized for not preferring Aspie guys as romantic partners.

Could you point it out to me?


Whether in the thread or not, it's rampant on the site.

I for instance, resent it being implied that because I have a vagina,
I "nag" at men who don't own cars,
by strangers who don't know me from Adam.

It would seem that the rigid thinking associated with Autism often takes the form of people clinging to rigid stereotypes about people,
regardless of their factual basis,
as opposed to developing the intelligence to think about human beings as the individuals that they are.


I certainly sympathize with your cause, but if I took all the things that I (with good cause) disagree with around here too close to heart, it would piss me off so much that I would miss a lot of the good stuff.

You are right, but try not to take it so seriously... :)



Dantac
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13 Mar 2011, 8:08 pm

wefunction wrote:
The likelihood of two guys being equally appealing with transportation being the sole difference between them is so slim, it just makes this an exercise in futile gender stereotyping.



The difference is not just transportation..its the associated financial capability that comes with having it (as well as him paying for the meals and entertainment in every date).

Again I come full circle to the example of my cousin... he had all the indicators of someone who is financially stable and he showed it in the way he spent it on the girls he was with. Hence, he got lots of girls fairly easily, not all gold diggers as evidenced by the last girl who was fortunate enough to see him for what he truly was..yet he did love him and tried to be with him.

All I'm saying is that financial stability does play a rather big role in a woman's decision making process..though not all choose to not date the guy that takes the bus and has her pay for her food during dates. Love is a funny thing no? 8)



Bethie
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13 Mar 2011, 8:15 pm

Grisha wrote:

I certainly sympathize with your cause, but if I took all the things that I (with good cause) disagree with around here too close to heart, it would piss me off so much that I would miss a lot of the good stuff.

You are right, but try not to take it so seriously... :)


Nah. Pretty sure I'll keep objecting to things I find disgustingly offensive and unintelligent.

Thanks for patronizing me, though.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Grisha
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13 Mar 2011, 8:22 pm

Bethie wrote:
Grisha wrote:

I certainly sympathize with your cause, but if I took all the things that I (with good cause) disagree with around here too close to heart, it would piss me off so much that I would miss a lot of the good stuff.

You are right, but try not to take it so seriously... :)


Nah. Pretty sure I'll keep objecting to things I find disgustingly offensive and unintelligent.

Thanks for patronizing me, though.


You're welcome. :?



Wolfheart
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14 Mar 2011, 4:17 am

jamieboy wrote:
Almost non of it is true. It's having Aspergers that keeps us single! Not being unemployed or living with your parents! In the UK millions of people are unemployed and about 40% of men (and alot of women too) in the their twenties live with their parents. Are they all single? I know for a fact they aren't and it's just not factual to claim otherwise.


I couldn't agree more with that, one of the truest statements i've ever heard. I have mates who are unemployed and can't drive yet they still get hot girls. Firstly, there are lots of women who are very nice, very cool, solid girls who could care less about wealth, and if you make them laugh, you'll be in good shape. What truly counts to women is how men perceive themselves, how they handle situations and the amount of confidence and charisma they have, once again charisma and humour go hand in hand.

It's not neccessarily the income that makes a person more attractive as a long-term partner, it's being able to communicate that they are successful, capable, ambitious and well-grounded that shows attraction Many beautiful women see themselves with a man of means, especially for the long-term.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2011, 6:18 am

Quote:
Almost non of it is true. It's having Aspergers that keeps us single! Not being unemployed or living with your parents! In the UK millions of people are unemployed and about 40% of men (and alot of women too) in the their twenties live with their parents. Are they all single? I know for a fact they aren't and it's just not factual to claim otherwise


Living with parents is the norm where I live , but the west is becoming like the mid-east in that regard due to the sh***y world economy and the skyrocketing estate prices lol :p , it was always the case here because our economy was always ...sh***y. Welcome to the third-world.


I am not sure how your 40% number is accurate, hell, if that was true the UK people would revolt worse than the Egyptians.

Look, people subconsciously valuate other people on a "+" and "-" rating for each trait. The important of each trait may be perceived differently between one individual and another but there's a general trend.

For example, almost everyone prefer good looks , so it's a + for most of the girls.

For example , a girl who's too into looks might give about +10 for the good-looks trait in a guy , while another would just give it a +1 or 0 , very rare those who would give a minus for it.

Living with parents and being unemployed are usually big minuses , but they may have big + such as confidence , hobbies, adventurous personality to compensate them.

if you're an aspie then you're likely to be socially inept and lack social skills, those are big minuses.

Your whining is a big fat minus for every female organism crawling or walking or swimming on this planet , but I wouldn't count it since I doubt you would whine like this in real life, if you do then this is a disastrous minus , like about -100 in average.



To simplify things, I like to categorize those + and - in two main categories : The Security value and the Entertainment value. A female WP blogger used those two terms for valuating guys and I found them very true.

Things like hobbies, interesting personality , good looks increase the entertainment value , while things like income , car , house increase the security value. If you lack the security value then you need to increase the entertainment value and vice versa , I estimate that most aspies lack in the latter.



ie.
to a random hypothetical woman:

jamieboy's overall value:

Entertainment value:

Personality type : whiner and defeatist -100
no outdoor hobby : -10
no car: -10
no sex experience : -10
no humor : -20

total: -150

Security value:

no job: -50
degree: +20
living with parent/no apartment: -50
no car (yes, they often fall in both categories): -10

total: -90


overall total: -240 Failure.

Well, that's my perception anyways, if you have any positive traits, say them.