Would you dump someone who got fat?
techstepgenr8tion
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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 45
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rabbittss, I'll try to cut the BS that you're getting - no one's really saying it but a) you're right up to a certain point and b) there's a lot more involved, the dynamic you're talking about is maybe 30% though I'll add 'In most places'.
If you are living in a very upper-middle class area like I grew up in, just got out of school, and are dealing with people under 30 where you have to have $100 jeans to be cool - then yes, I think what you're talking about is closer to 60%. I have a friend who was in an area where he noticed that the girls weren't looking at guys on how well they dressed but whether they recognized the clothing line he was wearing as high value. Its pathetic but, in the right places yes - it does happen.
Cultures are different, where I live I think its my AS that's 90% of the problem, other than that girls are willing to just about date or marry gas station attendants if they find them funny or well skilled socially. Some with geek-hatred will diss the guy who has lots of money for being a geek but brag and brag and brag about how they're hot isht because they found an electrician "Hah! My man makes 40k a year!" - I don't get it but, to each their own.
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not many people in general could be endurance athletes or sprinters, whether they are fat or thin. so that's not a good example. a person can be very fit and still fat, but like most of the world they will probably not enter the Olympics.
i think you are unaware of how hard it is to dance
I'm not saying everyone has to train their body to a high standard to be considered healthy, for some people, a couple of low intensity sessions of running and a healthy diet may be enough. People need to find out what's right for them and if they can handle it physically, as well as mentally. Of course, not everyone has the capacity to be a world class athlete or at the level of one.
I don't think it is good to promote obesity however and I think the US and the UK definitely need to reform on this issue.
Last week David Cameron delivered a speech outlining the Government's continued commitment to the reform of the NHS, laying out some of the reasons he believed justified and necessitated the reforms
High and growing levels of obesity in the UK, and the associated health costs, was one such reason he highlighted. With the NHS facing growing costs from treating patients with obesity linked conditions, Mr Cameron said that the NHS had to focus on efficiency and reduce management costs.
Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.
when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people.
We're not even talking vast amounts of working out, I'm not saying someone has to do 90 minutes of high intensity training per day, some people might get by on 30 minutes a day. The main cause of obesity is the lack of discipline and incorrect eating habits, countries such as France and Switzerland has a much lower obesity rate than the United Kingdom and the United States.
Would I dump her? Of course I wouldn't abandon my responsibilities if I had a child with her, I wouldn't leave my children over something aesthetic and selfish but I wouldn't get involved with someone that lead an unhealthy lifestyle or diet in the first place since it wouldn't work out. I definitely wouldn't get married with someone unless I lived with them for a few years first to see if our lifestyles are compatible.
If you are living in a very upper-middle class area like I grew up in, just got out of school, and are dealing with people under 30 where you have to have $100 jeans to be cool - then yes, I think what you're talking about is closer to 60%. I have a friend who was in an area where he noticed that the girls weren't looking at guys on how well they dressed but whether they recognized the clothing line he was wearing as high value. Its pathetic but, in the right places yes - it does happen.
Cultures are different, where I live I think its my AS that's 90% of the problem, other than that girls are willing to just about date or marry gas station attendants if they find them funny or well skilled socially. Some with geek-hatred will diss the guy who has lots of money for being a geek but brag and brag and brag about how they're hot isht because they found an electrician "Hah! My man makes 40k a year!" - I don't get it but, to each their own.
Thank you for actually addressing what I was saying rather than just lashing out at me.
I live in a fairly big college town. So two things I'm used to dealing with, upper middle class white kids, and people who think they are smarter than they really are. While school is in the student population makes the population of the town go up by about 25k. Former students who stuck around probably make up another 25-30% of the total population. The problem is, These two groups make up an even bigger % of people in my age bracket in my geographic area, so, if I don't go after the college girls, who you know, are attractive and smart, I'm left with the atrociously ignorant and unattractive troglodyte townies.
i don't really understand why you think that "making an effort" means "being relatively thin". really, i'd rather that a partner spent the time reading books, making art/music, etc. rather than working out.
I mean neither fat or thin, and doing some exercise every other day doesn't prevent anyone from doing any of those things. It may prevent you from watching some crap on TV if you normally watch it.
It's a (insert cliche here) out there and I don't want my partner or myself to be judged unfairly. I've been on the receiving end of too much BS in my youth and it's never going to change, and as much as I hate conforming to the great unthinking and unwashed's ideals, I had to be the one to change. People are s**theads, I find it works best for me to give them nothing to use against me.
I don't want my partner or I to be an easy target.
people are not so bad if you don't hate yourself. when i was morbidly obese i had no problems with people whatsoever.
a person could get exercise every single day and still be overweight or obese.
Like the majority I don't find morbid obesity attractive and attribute slovenly behaviour as its cause, so I wouldn't be happy with myself if I was that fat and I could never let myself go to that extent. Surely when a person stands on the scale and sees the number dramatically increase since their last visit, there should be an alarm in the person's mind to deal with it. I cannot understand anyone who wouldn't be alarmed.
It's not that I hate myself and I'm sure there are people who can exercise every day and still do not lose weight, and you'll probably have some obscure study somewhere to enforce your assertion, but they're the exception and either have thyroid problems, have a higher calorific intake than they burn, some serious diet issues or something else I'm unaware of. As for not having any problems with people, all I can say to that is you should try living here. In my experience most people are two faced lying bullies.
That whole schoolyard mentality never fades, especially in the workplace. Maybe I just live in a place full of c****.
25 to 30% of obese people are as healthy as "normal" people, so in a health sense it doesn't really matter if they exercise or not.
i don't think you understand that not every obese person wants to lose weight, and not everyone thinks obese people are unattractive.
i think you are hanging out with the wrong people if they are nasty about weight. you are choosing to be surrounded by people that are unpleasant, and you are tailoring yourself to their expectations.
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not many people in general could be endurance athletes or sprinters, whether they are fat or thin. so that's not a good example. a person can be very fit and still fat, but like most of the world they will probably not enter the Olympics.
i think you are unaware of how hard it is to dance
I'm not saying everyone has to train their body to a high standard to be considered healthy, for some people, a couple of low intensity sessions of running and a healthy diet may be enough. People need to find out what's right for them and if they can handle it physically, as well as mentally. Of course, not everyone has the capacity to be a world class athlete or at the level of one.
I don't think it is good to promote obesity however and I think the US and the UK definitely need to reform on this issue.
Last week David Cameron delivered a speech outlining the Government's continued commitment to the reform of the NHS, laying out some of the reasons he believed justified and necessitated the reforms
High and growing levels of obesity in the UK, and the associated health costs, was one such reason he highlighted. With the NHS facing growing costs from treating patients with obesity linked conditions, Mr Cameron said that the NHS had to focus on efficiency and reduce management costs.
Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.
when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people.
We're not even talking vast amounts of working out, I'm not saying someone has to do 90 minutes of high intensity training per day, some people might get by on 30 minutes a day. The main cause of obesity is the lack of discipline and incorrect eating habits, countries such as France and Switzerland has a much lower obesity rate than the United Kingdom and the United States.
Would I dump her? Of course I wouldn't abandon my responsibilities if I had a child with her, I wouldn't leave my children over something aesthetic and selfish but I wouldn't get involved with someone that lead an unhealthy lifestyle or diet in the first place since it wouldn't work out. I definitely wouldn't get married with someone unless I lived with them for a few years first to see if our lifestyles are compatible.
French and Swiss people don't have more discipline than people in the US and UK, so obviously that is not the cause of obesity.
but anyway you are coming from a starting point of it being a problem. but it isn't necessarily an issue. more than a quarter of obese people have no health problems or health risks whatsoever. so your judgement that there is a problem with them by default is inaccurate. obesity is not a disease.
p.s. 90 minutes a day is a lot to people working the "double-shift" (work and home, with children)
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I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. Of course I also don't find older people attractive at all and have no desire to be intimate with the. But if I've made a choice to marry some one, chances are I'll stick by that choice regardless, since that is the whole point.
no, most women don't go after men primarily for their money, and most men don't go after women primarily for their looks.
if you want to assume people are lying about their reasons, then you could assert that ANY reason is true. you could say that most men divorce women because they make a horrible casserole, and most women divorce men because their feet stink. if there is no data, there is probably a good reason for it - it most likely isn't true.
I wish I lived in whatever world you live in, instead of, you know, the real one.
rigggggghhhhht and you're basing your opinion on what? hearsay? fairy tales? gossip?
i look at the facts, i don't speculate about nonsense.
Uh, no, I'm basing it on the way the world actually is. All around me. Constantly.
your conclusions demonstrate that you are not accurately assessing the world around you.
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reading people's astonishing conclusions on WrongPlanet make me wonder if people reinforce their own reality. if you approach society with the assumption that people are shallow bullies, i believe you will be surround yourself with such people by default. i have friends all over the world, so i think blaming bad behaviour on culture is a cop out
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I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. Of course I also don't find older people attractive at all and have no desire to be intimate with the. But if I've made a choice to marry some one, chances are I'll stick by that choice regardless, since that is the whole point.
no, most women don't go after men primarily for their money, and most men don't go after women primarily for their looks.
if you want to assume people are lying about their reasons, then you could assert that ANY reason is true. you could say that most men divorce women because they make a horrible casserole, and most women divorce men because their feet stink. if there is no data, there is probably a good reason for it - it most likely isn't true.
I wish I lived in whatever world you live in, instead of, you know, the real one.
rigggggghhhhht and you're basing your opinion on what? hearsay? fairy tales? gossip?
i look at the facts, i don't speculate about nonsense.
Uh, no, I'm basing it on the way the world actually is. All around me. Constantly.
your conclusions demonstrate that you are not accurately assessing the world around you.
That's because my conclusions don't match your conclusions so therefore they must be incorrect. To me, yours are incorrect. What happens in New York, Seattle, London, etc. is not a litmus test for what occurs where I live.
My conclusions are due to how the world around me *IS*. Conclusions are not simply jumped to, they are arrived at. You cannot tell me I am not accurately assessing the world around me, when I most certainly am.
You live in New York. I live in a college town who's only claim to fame is that REM came from here 30 years ago. It's nothing but upper middle class white kids (the only ones who can afford the outrageous tuition) and poor semi literate ruralites. I fit in with neither group. I'm sorry this seems to be confusing you. But every place is not created exactly like every other place. I've never consciously stated that the entire world is like what I'm describing, I seem to remember always parsing my statements with 'My' meaning that it is only my experience.
i don't think you understand that not every obese person wants to lose weight, and not everyone thinks obese people are unattractive.
I do understand and I totally agree, if someone's happy then fine. I don't often encounter obese people who don't wish they weren't.
This is totally correct, most people I encounter are unpleasant and yes I am tailoring. Anything for an easier life. I have mates all over the place, but I still have to work and go to clubs and stand in taxi queues at 4am and be among people who aren't.... mates who are only too willing to verbally appraise your appearance in order to make themselves feel bigger by harrassing you while they're with a group.
City life's a drag. I find it gets better when you leave the city, and worse the further you go in when it comes to these sort of expectations on partners. I accept various circumstances for weight gain and loss, or other things it's just when I feel the person is taking an easy ride or becoming less of the person I used to know for no real reason other than they are in a relationship and it doesn't matter that I share concerns.
not many people in general could be endurance athletes or sprinters, whether they are fat or thin. so that's not a good example. a person can be very fit and still fat, but like most of the world they will probably not enter the Olympics.
i think you are unaware of how hard it is to dance
I'm not saying everyone has to train their body to a high standard to be considered healthy, for some people, a couple of low intensity sessions of running and a healthy diet may be enough. People need to find out what's right for them and if they can handle it physically, as well as mentally. Of course, not everyone has the capacity to be a world class athlete or at the level of one.
I don't think it is good to promote obesity however and I think the US and the UK definitely need to reform on this issue.
Last week David Cameron delivered a speech outlining the Government's continued commitment to the reform of the NHS, laying out some of the reasons he believed justified and necessitated the reforms
High and growing levels of obesity in the UK, and the associated health costs, was one such reason he highlighted. With the NHS facing growing costs from treating patients with obesity linked conditions, Mr Cameron said that the NHS had to focus on efficiency and reduce management costs.
Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.
when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people.
We're not even talking vast amounts of working out, I'm not saying someone has to do 90 minutes of high intensity training per day, some people might get by on 30 minutes a day. The main cause of obesity is the lack of discipline and incorrect eating habits, countries such as France and Switzerland has a much lower obesity rate than the United Kingdom and the United States.
Would I dump her? Of course I wouldn't abandon my responsibilities if I had a child with her, I wouldn't leave my children over something aesthetic and selfish but I wouldn't get involved with someone that lead an unhealthy lifestyle or diet in the first place since it wouldn't work out. I definitely wouldn't get married with someone unless I lived with them for a few years first to see if our lifestyles are compatible.
French and Swiss people don't have more discipline than people in the US and UK, so obviously that is not the cause of obesity.
but anyway you are coming from a starting point of it being a problem. but it isn't necessarily an issue. more than a quarter of obese people have no health problems or health risks whatsoever. so your judgement that there is a problem with them by default is inaccurate. obesity is not a disease.
p.s. 90 minutes a day is a lot to people working the "double-shift" (work and home, with children)
It's not a disease but it's something that can be prevented or maintained better and I think implementing a fitness program and a healthy diet at an early age is a good solution. The reason people in France, Switzerland and Japan are slimmer is because they choose to eat healthier, French people eat lots of organic food and vegetables, similar to how the Japanese eat a healthier diet. It takes a certain amount of discipline to follow a healthy diet when you have spent any number of years eating junk or being surrounded by it in the United Kingdom or United States.
If anyone dumped me because of my weight, its pretty clear that they are shallow and all about looks. I would not want that person in my life anyway. Like/ love someone for who they are.
Back in college, I met a few girls that were overweight that I liked, but they said they would never go out with my because of my weight. They wanted someone thin. Hypocrates.
Back in college, I met a few girls that were overweight that I liked, but they said they would never go out with my because of my weight. They wanted someone thin. Hypocrates.
But what if you like/love someone for who they are, and then they change?
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Back in college, I met a few girls that were overweight that I liked, but they said they would never go out with my because of my weight. They wanted someone thin. Hypocrates.
But what if you like/love someone for who they are, and then they change?
I would like someone for whats on the inside, who they are, the body is just a shell. I would not dump someone because of there weight. I'm not shallow.