11 Jul 2012, 2:17 am
Verdandi
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Age: 55
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Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
11 Jul 2012, 2:42 am
11 Jul 2012, 2:44 am
compliments affection teddybears cuddling and chocolate!! 
11 Jul 2012, 2:47 am
Verdandi
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Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
11 Jul 2012, 3:08 am
hyperlexian wrote:
WHERE DID I PUT MY SHACKLES??? YOU MUST NEVER LEAVE L&D AGAIN!! !! ! NEVARRRRRRRRRR
I added another paragraph before I realized there were responses.
I'll probably have again forgotten this subforum even exists within the next few days, though.
11 Jul 2012, 3:46 am
Verdandi
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Age: 55
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Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
11 Jul 2012, 3:57 am
Wolfheart wrote:
If you want to spend your life on the internet having a circular argument and using sweeping generalizations to put people in boxes, that's up to you. I personally wouldn't do that and if I was going to reprimand someone, it would be in a private discussion.
Sweeping generalizations to put people in boxes happens to be something that sexism and misogyny are all about. Why do you keep trying to shift the responsibility from actually doing these things to blaming the people who point it out for causing the problem? Too many people would much prefer to sweep things out of sight than deal with them honestly.
I'd prefer that people weren't sexist or misogynist at all, but somehow they keep doing it. If they're going to do it in public I see no reason to make it a private issue.
I don't get it. It doesn't bother me when someone points out I made a social mistake. Why so much invested in not ever talking about this particular thing - or only talking about it in private where no one else can see? What is so horrible about pointing out "You said something sexist" that it should never happen? It's not making a sweeping generalization, nor is it pushing people into boxes. It's typically an honest observation of common human behavior.
In any event, I don't have circular arguments on the internet. I usually stop talking to people who keep pushing that it's worse to be called out for sexism than it is to be sexist.
11 Jul 2012, 4:28 am
Verdandi wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
If you want to spend your life on the internet having a circular argument and using sweeping generalizations to put people in boxes, that's up to you. I personally wouldn't do that and if I was going to reprimand someone, it would be in a private discussion.
Sweeping generalizations to put people in boxes happens to be something that sexism and misogyny are all about. Why do you keep trying to shift the responsibility from actually doing these things to blaming the people who point it out for causing the problem? Too many people would much prefer to sweep things out of sight than deal with them honestly.
I'd prefer that people weren't sexist or misogynist at all, but somehow they keep doing it. If they're going to do it in public I see no reason to make it a private issue.
I don't get it. It doesn't bother me when someone points out I made a social mistake. Why so much invested in not ever talking about this particular thing - or only talking about it in private where no one else can see? What is so horrible about pointing out "You said something sexist" that it should never happen? It's not making a sweeping generalization, nor is it pushing people into boxes. It's typically an honest observation of common human behavior.
In any event, I don't have circular arguments on the internet. I usually stop talking to people who keep pushing that it's worse to be called out for sexism than it is to be sexist.
I would rather have the ability to give someone the option to save face and to see their error rather than simply using a negative term without getting to the bottom of understanding why they took that course of action, it's never good to reprimand someone in a public place because if it is meant for them personally, it should be constructive and solely meant for them. If it's something that others can learn from or it is meant for a group, I would reprimand the entire group or take each person aside to deal with it in on an individual basis which might be best.
What you see as an honest observation is actually socially inappropriate in most situations and I'm surprised that you do not realize that it is a social mistake in itself to point something out in an attempt to discredit the person, it is only acceptable if understanding can come from it and it isn't necessary to do so in public anyway. If they do it in public and initiate it, by all means, it can be appropriate to make a direct response in public if that's what they are indicating at or asking for.
If I had a problem with you, I would take you to one side and ask you straight if you had a problem and a possible solution to that problem instead of trying to rally people for my opinion to discredit you.
11 Jul 2012, 4:38 am
11 Jul 2012, 4:42 am
Let's just call it water under the bridge and get on .
11 Jul 2012, 4:43 am
11 Jul 2012, 5:56 am
11 Jul 2012, 7:46 am
Well this woman sometimes has no idea what she wants but right now she recons popcorn's a good choice when your kicking back watching a sport play out
11 Jul 2012, 7:55 am
MXH
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Age: 33
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Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
11 Jul 2012, 10:39 am
MXH
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Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
11 Jul 2012, 10:43 am
