Are relationships always this complicated?

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RetroGamer87, I'm rather enjoying your evolution on the last two pages. Just wanted you to

If you were 24, you would say 24 is the end of the dating road. If you were 30, you would say 30 is the end of the dating road. You only say 27 is the end of the dating road because that's the age you are currently.

Anyway, don't say stuff like that when you're around girls. Girls like confident guys so act confident and they'll like you.I thought this thread would help me figure stuff out and it did.Sounds like a match made in heaven but why did it end?Yeah, I recently bought GTA V for PS4

Well, I didn't have my first until 29. I have since kissed 7 and went all the way with 4.... and if I wasn't interested in long term relationships only could have doubled that number easily. Yes, I had one girl walk out on me after I confessed this but (let someone else) F&*k her if she is that shallow. My first GF was sex obsessed and even commented on how I was 'very skilled' even though I was a virgin at the time.


Given the utterly insane cost of houses here (in a poorer medium sized Canadian city), that's rarer than a unicorn. I work for the government and couldn't even afford a (decent) one bedroom apartment on my own! My current GF lived with her parents until 32 and the one before that 31 and they are both high quality, intelligent women.


I concur. He is ever so slowly figuring it out although it's obvious he needs to be dropped on his head before he fully "gets" it. I was the same way a couple years ago! Hope he doesn't make the same mistakes I did and 'settle' for a girl who needed to be rescued.

[quote="GiantHockeyFan"]Given the utterly insane cost of houses here (in a poorer medium sized Canadian city), that's rarer than a unicorn. I work for the government and couldn't even afford a (decent) one bedroom apartment on my own! My current GF lived with her parents until 32 and the one before that 31 and they are both high quality, intelligent women.[\quote]Woah, this makes me glad I don't live in which ever city you do. At least here my rent is less than 20% of my income.

You only pay 20%? Wow, that would be heaven to me! I paid more than that living with my parents! I live in a city that has a flood of underemployed white collar workers (like me) and there was a potential of a major economic boost so the landlords jacked up their rents... it never materialized but they still haven't lowered their prices. Vacancies just keep growing and growing. My last GF had THREE university degrees (with honours), was well liked and very skilled at her job and still didn't have a full time job!

I remember hearing one landlord in the USA saying he required triple the income of the rent before he would even consider renting to someone. If he required that here, he would NEVER get any tenants! I did some digging in a comparable USA city and the rent for my $855/month apartment in a lower income building would be approximately $450 there! I actually moved in with someone who is trying to sell his 2 bedroom condo because at approximately $1800 a month, nobody will be able to afford it. In fact, over a third of the units in his building are for sale now and have been for quite some time. The only singles under 35 that I know who own houses got them from a deceased parent or grandparent. If women are expecting to find men around here with their own house, they are simply delusional.

That is the classic sign of Borderline Personality Disorder. Their identity is completely wrapped up in who they are dating. For them the most fearful thing is to end a relationship because they are losing their identity.

If you want a good indicator of how relationships with BPD females go, watch Fatal Attraction or Play Misty for Me. Single White Female is another good one showing how a BPD person can even get attached to a roommate.

One symptom of Asperger's is that we tend to stay what we think too impulsively. That is something that will come with practice.

Relationships greatly vary in their complicatedness (if that is a word). My relationship with my wife has been very easygoing and uncomplicated. Kraftkorie would say that is further evidence that she is the one for me. It only get complicated when I think that she should have the exact same attitudes and values as I do, instead of being her own person.

Before her I was in a short term relationship that drove me absolutely nuts. The woman had a lot of health issues, needed a Kidney transplant, and was not able to get very committed due to those factors. I was bound and determined to make it work because I thought it was my last chance at love, and it just wasn't going to work. That was an absolutely miserable summer for me, even drove me to thoughts of suicide at times. I am so glad now that it ended. She died a few years ago from her condition, and didn't have any money so I couldn't have ended up a rich widower had I been successful in making it work.

Yeah, that's typical. These things are like a ratchet in that they only go on way. Like after the crash of '08, they have some economic recovery plan that involved working 12 hour days. Eventually profits went up by 20%, salaries went up by 2%. The 12 hour days remained even after they were no longer necessary (at least according to a Mother Jones article I read).

Or stuff in Australia costing twice as much, it made sense when our dollar was half as much but when we reached parity with the USD for a time, they still charged double hear because they could. It's the ratchet effect. Anyway, our dollar's gone back down so at least it makes sense again.When you put it that way I feel very lucky to have a decent job when I have no degree and I'm a greenhorn in this field (IT). I got a little behind due to inexperience but they still tolerate me.

Actually I'm not on full time either, I'm still on three-quarter time but at least that gives me more time for my studies. They give me flexi-time so I can fit classes in.$450 per month? and I have to pay $780 per month? OK maybe Adelaide is overpriced.Yeah, I thought gf might one day inherit a house but her family say that can't give her a house because she's not their son She said if I dumped her she would feel like she was losing a part of herself. This was after we'd been seeing each other for 8 days. Oh no, have I got one of these?

Yeah, I used to feel like that. Absolutely untrue. I didn't have my first real relationship until I was 29. Had a couple of short term flings before that, and opportunities than I didn't pursue. My now wife had lots of relationships before me and my lack of relationship experience didn't turn her off at all. I think few females would be turned off by someone because they didn't have lots of exs in the past. Some of us are just late bloomers, at least my therapist tells me that is what I am. Yeah, it sucks at times, I wish I had better memories of graduate school, but I don't. At least a late bloomer gets to bloom!

I know this sounds like of trite, but finding dates and relationships did seem to come easier to me when I stopped trying so hard and became ok with who I was

Is that a picture of your girlfriend?

She's pretty attractive. Not somebody that I would scorn at all. And if she has substance in addition to her superficial looks----man o man!

She does seem somewhat "clingy" in a sense.

It doesn't mean she's "borderline," though. "Borderline" is used far too much these days.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 27 Feb 2015, 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kraftie

Thanks for all of the advice and support you have given me! Especially about looking at my gratefuls for what I have now and and leaving the past pain behind.

I hope I have been of some help, sir.

Because he was too clingy and too emotional. Everything was fine till he played the game since we had something in common. We could play together and eventually talk about our daily life while playing, if he insisted. But then he left the game and tried to force me to stop playing too, chatting with him instead(we were chatting a few hours a day anyway but it was apparently not enough for him, he wanted to talk to me all the time, he could even text me in middle of night, trying to get me to the computer...). He was manipulating me emotionally "game is more important than me?" and I found chatting with him boring and confusing - I could say something honest and straight and he could interpret it his own way and get angry with me for no clear reason (example I said: "Our relationship is an experiment for me since I have never been in one before." and he got depressed and angry because he understood it as: "You are nothing important to me, just a lab rabbit." although I didn't mean it).

In the end I dumped him. He was texting me everyday for next a few months, begging for one more chance...

Back when I was 28, I met someone online who professed their love for me, send me intimate photos and talked about VERY personal details after just a week and before we even met. She even mentioned getting married and divorced in her mid 20s and told me very specific details about what they did together. Even ol' naive me thought someone was really off as excited as I felt. I later found out she fell madly in love with about 5 other guys (what a shock, they all quickly failed) and got engaged after 4 DAYS ON THE SECOND DATE with a guy even more messed up then she was. Don't know how she made out but I doubt that turned out successfully.

I now realize she is obviously a severe borderline and the reason BPD-like women kept seeking me out (and nobody else would give me the time of day) was because I had a saviour complex and subconsciously attracted them with my fixing/rescuing compulsions. It's not that most women are BPD but most guys run for the hills in the first few minutes unlike us naive Aspies who take statements at face value and are more desperate for attention. You are treading in dangerous waters: someone close to me told me my ex was capable of murdering me in a fit of rage if I got married to her and then tried to divorce her and in retrospect, that is probably not far off the truth.

BTW, for the benefit of saying that I am just using the BPD label as an excuse, a number of mental health experts told me that not only is she almost certainly a BPD but also the rates of it are skyrocketing thanks to the large number of broken homes. I had NO IDEA what BPD was until it was too late.

I like gaming but I am pretty sure that it's not the right solely basis for a relationship.

It's just a one activity.

It's a way for a gamer to meet another gamer, in an environment in which both feel comfortable.

heard that but seen the oppisite, people like to live in make believe worlds, well I wouldn't' do that if ___ happen, then when _____ happens they do what they said they wouldn't, there's what we wish we were like and what we are like. they said that but when they actually meet a guy with no experience then they start to question why he has none, and go through all the bad reasons it must be why.

but everyone is expected to have atleast 1 ex, the common saying is you your first love never lasts, its part of growing up. high school sweethearts come to mind.


no, but having a lot of exes isn't the same as having exes, both having no exes and having a lot are bad, they are opposite ends of the spectrum. they want the middle part.



i generally only buy things that serve a purpose. all my guns follow the same line, each has a unique purpose. I have no need for a glock 42 as its in 380 which is expensive and preforms less than what currently have. i already could do suicide even without guns, likely how Ill do it so antis can't use it to support their agenda.


not allowed to save money. gov says so. poor have to stay poor. none of the jobs I'm going get will improve other people's image of me. I not getting some middle class office job. probably going end up working as a cashier or security. not really what they consider good jobs. you're lucky to have a good job. reality for me is even when/if I get a job I won't be good enough for love. so just going live alone and buy guns. can't even own a fox here due to laws



no actually its from news articles and forums. I've been dreading turning 27 since 22. since most people seem to agree thats when your odds of getting a relationship drops a ton close to 0 chance.
don't talk to women. I'm not confident. I'm not a alpha male. I'm submissive, kind hearted, non violent, and romantic. I tired of having to feel ashamed of being me.

prostitutes are dangerous and illegal, besides I need an emotional connection for sex. I do think if I win the lottery I'll likely go that route, al be it somewhere its legal, after testing, and paying her for months so I can build the connection. not the best ideal but not any other choices, that said unlikely to happen. even if i win probably just hold up behind walls alone getting supplies delivered to my house.

problem is female gamers still prefer non gamer guys. not all but the remaining get hooked up really fast as even non gamer guys prefer gaming girls.

DW_a_mom

hope you're right but just seems unlikely, also after 30 i won't be able to get what I desire out of relationships anymore, as women are mature at that point and goal oriented and wanting kids.



so you've had 7 girls atleast?

not as rare here, and society has double standard, its ok even great for a woman to still live at home, but its horrible and worthless if a guy does. I don't even live at home, I do live with my family but in a house we rent together.



thats a common meme picture for supposedly clingy, obsessive woman.