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Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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XFilesGeek
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11 Nov 2015, 7:45 pm

Miss ButtPolar has been ejected for the time being.

She'll be back, of course, but I'll be ready with the banhammer.


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AR1500
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12 Nov 2015, 2:55 pm

dobyfm wrote:
Ugh! I agree! I see all these girls with boyfriends or getting asked out. I got tired of expecting a guy to ask me out so I just go for it. As of now, I enjoy doing the chasing. 8)




Just my $0.02 for the matter but I would say that if you want to get asked out, you have to stand out. One way to do this is to upgrade your wardrobe and dress sexy(form fitting clothes like leggings as pants, high heels, and short skirts/dresses plus makeup). You might not want to do this and it's *O-Kay* if you really don't wanna but it can definitely help you get the menz attention.



alex
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12 Nov 2015, 8:52 pm

AR1500 wrote:

Anyone *can* go on a date but not everyone has the same level of east/difficulty in convincing someone to go on a date with them. I've tried to explain that women are far more selective than men are about who they date, mate, and procreate with and this isn't gonna change. You just have to work at it. Some things in life DO come easy for SOME PEOPLE but not for others. People should understand that you shouldn't work *too hard* to get a date because that makes you seem desperate.....And desperation is just no attractive. Period.


You shouldn't work too hard to get a single date, true, but you should certainly put in the time of meeting people and interacting with girls so that you get good at it in general. I certainly don't come across as desperate but I can guarantee that I have put in way more work/time than 99% of the people here and have focused a lot more on developing skills as well.

Also, some of the negative attitudes I see in the posters in this thread are definitely not going to make them appear confident with women. Can you see how that would be a turnoff?


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12 Nov 2015, 10:05 pm

AR1500 wrote:
dobyfm wrote:
Ugh! I agree! I see all these girls with boyfriends or getting asked out. I got tired of expecting a guy to ask me out so I just go for it. As of now, I enjoy doing the chasing. 8)




Just my $0.02 for the matter but I would say that if you want to get asked out, you have to stand out. One way to do this is to upgrade your wardrobe and dress sexy(form fitting clothes like leggings as pants, high heels, and short skirts/dresses plus makeup). You might not want to do this and it's *O-Kay* if you really don't wanna but it can definitely help you get the menz attention.


It's a catch-22 for her. Looking too good might come across as intimidating ('super pretty girl, already has a bf'/'she's probably one of those overly-shallow judgementel gogetter/goldigger types that look down on ordinary guys like me') or even attract unwanted attention (creeps rather than nice men).



MissKlemi
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12 Nov 2015, 11:12 pm

alex wrote:
AR1500 wrote:

Anyone *can* go on a date but not everyone has the same level of east/difficulty in convincing someone to go on a date with them. I've tried to explain that women are far more selective than men are about who they date, mate, and procreate with and this isn't gonna change. You just have to work at it. Some things in life DO come easy for SOME PEOPLE but not for others. People should understand that you shouldn't work *too hard* to get a date because that makes you seem desperate.....And desperation is just no attractive. Period.


You shouldn't work too hard to get a single date, true, but you should certainly put in the time of meeting people and interacting with girls so that you get good at it in general. I certainly don't come across as desperate but I can guarantee that I have put in way more work/time than 99% of the people here and have focused a lot more on developing skills as well.

Also, some of the negative attitudes I see in the posters in this thread are definitely not going to make them appear confident with women. Can you see how that would be a turnoff?


^^ yes on the negative attitudes. And the "waaaah, it's unfair girls won't date me but I haven't actually asked anybody out in the last 6+ months". If you're not asking, you're not rejected.... you never even bothered to try.

(There's also a huge difference between okay with self, so reasonably confident versus delusional think you're a god irrational confidence versus hate yourself so much self-loathing / sense you'd rather b anybody but yourself jumps off the page).



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13 Nov 2015, 12:39 am

MissKlemi wrote:
^^ yes on the negative attitudes. And the "waaaah, it's unfair girls won't date me but I haven't actually asked anybody out in the last 6+ months". If you're not asking, you're not rejected.... you never even bothered to try.

this


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realitypill
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13 Nov 2015, 9:10 am

MissBearpolar wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Girls in their 20s and 30s are statistically more likely then guys of the same age to be in relationships.

The second graph shows the number of men and woman with and without autism who are in relationships. You can view it here. http://www.rdos.net/eng/relation.pdf. Scroll down to the second.


Why is this the case?

Well if you're a young woman, you have more prospects to choose from. An example of this is that a girl on Tinder has WAY more matches then her guy counterparts. A woman on Tinder can realistically expect to get 20+ matches in a day or two.

Women also tend to be more picky in who they choose to date. A man may consider anywhere from 40-75% of women he meets within his desired age to be dateable/f***able. While women only consider anywhere from 10-25% of men they meet to be dateable/f***able. That's a big difference! This means the bottom 10-15% of men arne't getting into relationships.

Finally, men are the ones that usually do the chasing and pursuing. They're the ones that have to get her number, ask her out on a date, and impress her. All while some other guys are trying to do the same thing. Women on the other hand can be passive and still have men trying to chase her.


So yes, men in their 20s have it WAY harder getting a date then women of the same age. Anybody who says otherwise honestly has no idea what the f**k they're talking about.



You appear to be confusing no women willing to date YOU (attitude, negativity, things for you to rethink) with no women willing to date guys in their 20s. I work with mostly guys, mostly in 20s, many Aspies and they go on dates and have girlfriends.

You aren't every twentysomething guy.

You have a giant chip on your shoulder.

For straight 20somethings to date, requires 1 male + 1 female. Thus equal number of males + females go on dates in their 20s.

My fave cousin (a girl) has DS and dated plenty in her 20s and is now engaged to be married at 25.


Your 1-1 logic would only make sense if this were the 1950's and "going on dates" meant "settling down." But that's not what people in their 20's do nowadays. Serial monogamy and - to a lesser extent - casual sex are now the norm for women of prime nubility age. It shouldn't be hard to see how 80% of girls could cycle through 20% of the guys in this kind of dating market.



MadamePolariz
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13 Nov 2015, 9:26 am

realitypill wrote:
MissBearpolar wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Girls in their 20s and 30s are statistically more likely then guys of the same age to be in relationships.

The second graph shows the number of men and woman with and without autism who are in relationships. You can view it here. http://www.rdos.net/eng/relation.pdf. Scroll down to the second.


Why is this the case?

Well if you're a young woman, you have more prospects to choose from. An example of this is that a girl on Tinder has WAY more matches then her guy counterparts. A woman on Tinder can realistically expect to get 20+ matches in a day or two.

Women also tend to be more picky in who they choose to date. A man may consider anywhere from 40-75% of women he meets within his desired age to be dateable/f***able. While women only consider anywhere from 10-25% of men they meet to be dateable/f***able. That's a big difference! This means the bottom 10-15% of men arne't getting into relationships.

Finally, men are the ones that usually do the chasing and pursuing. They're the ones that have to get her number, ask her out on a date, and impress her. All while some other guys are trying to do the same thing. Women on the other hand can be passive and still have men trying to chase her.


So yes, men in their 20s have it WAY harder getting a date then women of the same age. Anybody who says otherwise honestly has no idea what the f**k they're talking about.



You appear to be confusing no women willing to date YOU (attitude, negativity, things for you to rethink) with no women willing to date guys in their 20s. I work with mostly guys, mostly in 20s, many Aspies and they go on dates and have girlfriends.

You aren't every twentysomething guy.

You have a giant chip on your shoulder.

For straight 20somethings to date, requires 1 male + 1 female. Thus equal number of males + females go on dates in their 20s.

My fave cousin (a girl) has DS and dated plenty in her 20s and is now engaged to be married at 25.


Your 1-1 logic would only make sense if this were the 1950's and "going on dates" meant "settling down." But that's not what people in their 20's do nowadays. Serial monogamy and - to a lesser extent - casual sex are now the norm for women of prime nubility age. It shouldn't be hard to see how 80% of girls could cycle through 20% of the guys in this kind of dating market.


85% of Americans are or were married. Your math doesn't work.



kraftiekortie
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13 Nov 2015, 9:49 am

Including many Aspie/Autistics.

Statistics don't matter, anyway--they're toilet paper within a dating context.



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13 Nov 2015, 9:57 am

Math and graphs and statistics don't make sense to me anyway, and the people who make statistics up seem to forget that everyone has a different opinion and everyone doesn't think in the same way.


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13 Nov 2015, 10:43 am

Hmm what he said and then agreeing with the troll Katy makes me question being on this site. Maybe all us lonely men should go to another aspie site. Though that's probably a big chunk of the population here. I wonder how many wouldn't be on a site like this if we had relationship. I certainly don't come here to be judged by others who don't know me and make assumptions for why I unlovable rather then accept that women and most people have become superficial no must just be that were negative. But no one starts out negative. Women rejecting us causes the negative not the other way around. It's like she thinks women were all over use but we just went negative, couldn't possible be that years and years and hundreds and thousands of rejections and emotional hurt caused the negatively to slowly grow and slowly kill our confidence and happiness nope.



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13 Nov 2015, 10:45 am

What's wrong with this site [besides the title; ha ha]? Okay, that's a terrible pun. Never mind.
There is always hope, even if it doesn't seem that way at all.


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13 Nov 2015, 1:52 pm

sly279 wrote:
Hmm what he said and then agreeing with the troll Katy makes me question being on this site. Maybe all us lonely men should go to another aspie site. Though that's probably a big chunk of the population here. I wonder how many wouldn't be on a site like this if we had relationship. I certainly don't come here to be judged by others who don't know me and make assumptions for why I unlovable rather then accept that women and most people have become superficial no must just be that were negative. But no one starts out negative. Women rejecting us causes the negative not the other way around. It's like she thinks women were all over use but we just went negative, couldn't possible be that years and years and hundreds and thousands of rejections and emotional hurt caused the negatively to slowly grow and slowly kill our confidence and happiness nope.


Dude, if someone hasn't legitimately asked a single person out in 6+ months, they certainly shouldn't be complaining. How could anyone *not* agree with that statement?


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AR1500
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13 Nov 2015, 3:03 pm

MadamePolariz wrote:
realitypill wrote:
MissBearpolar wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Girls in their 20s and 30s are statistically more likely then guys of the same age to be in relationships.

The second graph shows the number of men and woman with and without autism who are in relationships. You can view it here. http://www.rdos.net/eng/relation.pdf. Scroll down to the second.


Why is this the case?

Well if you're a young woman, you have more prospects to choose from. An example of this is that a girl on Tinder has WAY more matches then her guy counterparts. A woman on Tinder can realistically expect to get 20+ matches in a day or two.

Women also tend to be more picky in who they choose to date. A man may consider anywhere from 40-75% of women he meets within his desired age to be dateable/f***able. While women only consider anywhere from 10-25% of men they meet to be dateable/f***able. That's a big difference! This means the bottom 10-15% of men arne't getting into relationships.

Finally, men are the ones that usually do the chasing and pursuing. They're the ones that have to get her number, ask her out on a date, and impress her. All while some other guys are trying to do the same thing. Women on the other hand can be passive and still have men trying to chase her.


So yes, men in their 20s have it WAY harder getting a date then women of the same age. Anybody who says otherwise honestly has no idea what the f**k they're talking about.



You appear to be confusing no women willing to date YOU (attitude, negativity, things for you to rethink) with no women willing to date guys in their 20s. I work with mostly guys, mostly in 20s, many Aspies and they go on dates and have girlfriends.

You aren't every twentysomething guy.

You have a giant chip on your shoulder.

For straight 20somethings to date, requires 1 male + 1 female. Thus equal number of males + females go on dates in their 20s.

My fave cousin (a girl) has DS and dated plenty in her 20s and is now engaged to be married at 25.


Your 1-1 logic would only make sense if this were the 1950's and "going on dates" meant "settling down." But that's not what people in their 20's do nowadays. Serial monogamy and - to a lesser extent - casual sex are now the norm for women of prime nubility age. It shouldn't be hard to see how 80% of girls could cycle through 20% of the guys in this kind of dating market.


85% of Americans are or were married. Your math doesn't work.



And what is the age distribution for the 85% of married Americans.



AR1500
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13 Nov 2015, 3:07 pm

Kuraudo777 wrote:
Math and graphs and statistics don't make sense to me anyway, and the people who make statistics up seem to forget that everyone has a different opinion and everyone doesn't think in the same way.



As they say, there are Lies, DAMNED LIES, and Statistics. Most of this data has very relevance to everyday life.


Negative attitudes definitely are repulsive when you display them in front of real life dates or towards people you mingle with that *might* wanna date you. But venting on a forum like this really makes no difference one way or another in terms of dating luck.

The approach that I've found which really has worked in the past is to be true to oneself and market yourself to the right buyers. Trying to improve a product too much amounts to disguising it as something it's not and there's always a moneyback guarantee so-to-speak in the dating game.



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13 Nov 2015, 9:27 pm

alex wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Hmm what he said and then agreeing with the troll Katy makes me question being on this site. Maybe all us lonely men should go to another aspie site. Though that's probably a big chunk of the population here. I wonder how many wouldn't be on a site like this if we had relationship. I certainly don't come here to be judged by others who don't know me and make assumptions for why I unlovable rather then accept that women and most people have become superficial no must just be that were negative. But no one starts out negative. Women rejecting us causes the negative not the other way around. It's like she thinks women were all over use but we just went negative, couldn't possible be that years and years and hundreds and thousands of rejections and emotional hurt caused the negatively to slowly grow and slowly kill our confidence and happiness nope.


Dude, if someone hasn't legitimately asked a single person out in 6+ months, they certainly shouldn't be complaining. How could anyone *not* agree with that statement?


Because the whole thing is a prejudgment based on no facts about men on here made by a troll who hates and attacks aspie men and has been banned and made so many new accounts.

People can complain anyways it's their right isn't this s support site. People complain about a lot of things they don't try to fix.

She knows nothing about my situation and I'm tired of people making assumptions and attacking me :( she as a woman who's had tons of sex and tons of bfs knows nothing of what it's like to be a aspie guy who's rejected thousands of times all his life never having a gf, never being held or touched, never being loved. She has no right to say we have no legitimacy to feel how we do or complain. I don't care that her ex was a as*hole aspie that doesn't give her the right to attack all other aspie men, ironic that she tells us to not pejudge all women based off the many many women who are that way but she prejudged all aspie men based off the one bad apple she knew.