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JakJak
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26 Jan 2016, 11:22 pm

slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I realized that another problem I have is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys and only focus on them and it's very difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


I think that's pretty normal. And it seems better than being attracted to so many people that you would go out with almost anyone. It's good to keep an open mind, but you should still keep your standards and never settle.


I agree. I just meant that a lot of the guys that I have liked don't seem to feel the same way about me and it's difficult for me to be able to like other guys.


Oh yes, I see now.
That always made dating tedious.


It's also hard when I think about them a lot and have trouble distracting myself. :|


Maybe you could try focusing on what attracts you to these guys, and look for those qualities in other potential dating options.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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26 Jan 2016, 11:28 pm

slw1990 wrote:

It's also hard when I think about them a lot and have trouble distracting myself. :|


Is it possible you're becoming infatuated because you're building them up in your mind, to be more than they are? I ask because I've noticed this is sometimes the case when I can't stop thinking about someone.

Is there currently anyone that you're feeling this way about now, thus preventing you from considering other potential dates?



slw1990
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27 Jan 2016, 8:21 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
slw1990 wrote:

It's also hard when I think about them a lot and have trouble distracting myself. :|


Is it possible you're becoming infatuated because you're building them up in your mind, to be more than they are? I ask because I've noticed this is sometimes the case when I can't stop thinking about someone.

Is there currently anyone that you're feeling this way about now, thus preventing you from considering other potential dates?


I do that sometimes when I like someone, but I don't think I do it as much as I use to. I don't really view them as flawless or anything though so when I find out negative things about them I'm usually not put off by it, but it kind of depends on what it is. Yes, I'm feeling that way about someone now.



slw1990
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13 Feb 2016, 7:15 pm

When I like certain guys I think about them so much it gets to the point to where its not healthy for me because I start to feel depressed. I mean, sometimes I enjoy it, but even then I feel creepy about it. I want to get over them, but if I get to know other people that seem like they could be interested I worry about misleading them. I've done it before by accident. I've also been misled myself by someone and it doesn't feel good at all.



Last edited by slw1990 on 13 Feb 2016, 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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13 Feb 2016, 7:52 pm

I think it is natural when you find someone you like to get hung up on them. If you find out they are not interested then basically you probably aren't going to change their mind. But everybody has been in that position before. You just have to force yourself not to think about that person, or if you have to find all of the negative things about them and convince yourself they are a horrible person. Then focus more on the good things about the guys who do like you. Or find one of them who you have common interests with



slw1990
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13 Feb 2016, 10:25 pm

Sometimes I feel like even if I did like them they eventually wouldn't want much to do with me. Sorry for being so negative, but it seems like that's what usually happens. It's like there's something about me that pushes people away, but I'm not sure what it is.



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14 Feb 2016, 7:45 pm

Are you sure that the guys that you like are not interested? If so what makes you think that?



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14 Feb 2016, 8:17 pm

It might be interesting to arrange undateable dates. They won't work as real dates, but, at least, they'll raise someone's self esteem: "Ha, ha, I felt undateable, but I run circles around this silly loser who thinks they'd have a chance with me!".


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slw1990
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14 Feb 2016, 11:51 pm

wowiexist wrote:
Are you sure that the guys that you like are not interested? If so what makes you think that?


I'm not positive because I don't think most of the guys that I have liked actually know that I like them. It just seems like they aren't interested because they would all seem distant and I think it might be a little creepy to show interest in guys that probably don't feel the same way.



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15 Feb 2016, 7:15 pm

Do you ever get a chance to talk to them? You should try just making casual conversation if you get a chance. Figure out something you have in common with them and talk about that maybe.



sly279
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15 Feb 2016, 8:00 pm

Better to feel undateable then actually be undateable.



Bluelaggongirl
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15 Feb 2016, 8:27 pm

How do you know you're undateable if you haven't asked anyone out?



sly279
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15 Feb 2016, 8:34 pm

I've asked tons of women out. Katy



Spiderpig
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15 Feb 2016, 9:55 pm

Sometimes the reasons you never ask anyone out are in and of themselves strong signs that you have no business dating.


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slw1990
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16 Feb 2016, 11:14 pm

wowiexist wrote:
Do you ever get a chance to talk to them? You should try just making casual conversation if you get a chance. Figure out something you have in common with them and talk about that maybe.


Yes, I've talked to some of them and they ask questions about my life sometimes. It just sounds like they are much more interested in talking to other people, but are more distant towards me and that probably means that they aren't interested.



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16 Feb 2016, 11:29 pm

slw1990 wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Do you ever get a chance to talk to them? You should try just making casual conversation if you get a chance. Figure out something you have in common with them and talk about that maybe.


Yes, I've talked to some of them and they ask questions about my life sometimes. It just sounds like they are much more interested in talking to other people, but are more distant towards me and that probably means that they aren't interested.


Try asking out men on this site then. You'll probably find lots of them to be accommodating - the undatable folks will probably consider it a blessing from the lord and eat each other alive for a chance at your hand in marriage. Everyone gets a happy ending.