Friendzone

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I am a bit of a geek, I love all the comics, movies, videogames and stuff. I enjoy talking politics too, but other intellectual stuff as well. I don't personally like sports or outdoorsy stuff but its not like I wouldn't try it, I just don't have any reason I want to try it at the moment.
There isn't any preference for girls I have other than decent maturity, compassion and understanding, and something else that's not appropriate to say here. I don't want massive standards because at this point beggars can't be choosers.
I dress nice and usually wear office environment clothing, some of my friends around this office want to help me pick out clothes that appeal to girls more than what I wear now.
Once I get to know people I open up a lot more and become rather goofy and charismatic but I am extremely shy and getting over that initial ice breaker in the beginning is impossible for me. Considering I have low self esteem and confidence doesn't help either.
Because I don't really have my own social circle clubs and other places aren't a good idea for me, I might flirt with the wrong girl and get beat up by her man.

Pretty sure relationships aren't simply given out, granted you don't earn attraction per say...if someone is not attracted to you, then you aren't going to earn their attraction either it's there or its not. However you do more or less earn love...if start a relationship and then treat the other person horribly or talk down on acquaintances those people are not going to develop any feelings of love for you. But yeah people don't generally feel they love someone wether in a romantic way or feeling like they are family way with no context of the other person. It would be strange if you could be walking around and people just decide they love you without knowing you.

It certainly might be a good idea to get some other clothes aside from your usual office attire for work...I mean if you look all business all the time that could very well act as kind of a repellent, plus people might think you must be busy or on your way somewhere. Now I couldn't say what other clothes you should get as there isn't a look that attracts females across the board, that would depend on what you like to wear and maybe what sort of females you want to attract...or wear something that somehow expresses an interest of yours and you might get attention of like minded females.

Also though I think the likelyhood of getting beat up just for simple flirting with someone you're not aware is in a relationship is pretty low. I mean for one assualt is illegal, I imagine most guys aren't going to want to risk jail and potentially losing their girlfriend by going all macho on someone who 'talked' to their woman. Also though I think generally people would be reasonable enough to see it as an honest mistake. Like if you attempt some kind of flirting and the woman isn't single they will likely just tell you....

The only way i could see you being at risk of being beat up is if you continue trying to flirt with someone who has expressed dis-interest or like refuse to believe a girl already has a boyfriend and insist they are just saying that and continue trying to harrass. But you seem a lot more reasonable than that.

I've yet to meet a man who would view poverty in a woman as a dealbreaker. Surely they exist but they're uncommon. Women are NOT expected to have money in most culture, including the USofA. The traditional expectation that the guy is the breadwinner still persists. Poor women use their looks(if they have them and they can) to attract men with more money so they are offering beauty in exchange for wealth.


But yes, even desperate people have standards though there are some men who are so desperate for sex they'll pretty much accept any female who offers.

:facepalm:



That's a STRAWMAN if I ever saw one! I realize you're trying to be a chivalrous white knight as women are just sweet lil angels who cannot possible do wrong............*yawn*

The issues is not having standards and being selective. The issue is the *presumption* that men can detect how you feel towards them just by observing you without actually interacting with you. Do you not understand what mindblindness is and how autistic people often cannot accurately perceive and respond to non-verbal communication?

That's my big beef with NT women: They expect men to adapt to them but refuse to make any effort in return. They often have contradictory expectations because they believe they're entitled to have it both ways.

Earning is just earning. It doesn't mean everyone has a chance, or that noöne is born with it already earned thanks to their exceptional genes.

And are most men you've met above the poverty line? I do not doubt there are loads of men out there who don't care about a womans financial status, but would think most of those men are either also poor or at least below upper middle class. It is true there are some poor women who try to pretty themselves up and appeal to wealthier guys hoping to up their financial class through a relationship....but key word some, I certainly never attempted that route seems something a more materialistic person would do.

I would believe there are some men desperate enough to accept sex from any female who offers...but then I would also wonder why they haven't maybe done some self pleasuring or something to sort of lessen the desperation and hold them over before getting quite to that point.

As well as having basic observational skills, I grew up in a household with a mother and an older sister. I now have a family consisting of one wife and two daughters. I am quite aware that women can do plenty wrong. What I am disagreeing with is that it is somehow inherent to the female side of humanity to behave as your frankly seemingly imaginary illustrative woman here has.

Also, there was NO mention of NTs or Autists or mindblindness in what you (or anyone you quoted) wrote. Rather, there was an assertion that women both tell men to go ahead and approach women, yet also complain about 'creeps' bothering them.

Now, I am going to assume you're asserting this is something done by the same woman, as that allows you to try and level the charge of hypocrisy. Because 'Get this, right. This morning, Jane said I should really just go ahead and ask Jo out as at least then I'd know, but then this afternoon I overheard Jackie complain about her time on OKCupid, where men kept sending her sex messages. What's that all about?' just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I've done seen, with my very own peepers, women make plenty of effort and adaptation in order to get and keep men. So there we are. Two vague but contradictory assertions about what women are like.

It's almost as though they're individuals, and behaviour will vary. [Shudders] Women.... goddamn, they're everywhere.

If you have to dress a certain way, wear makeup, do certain things etc for s guy to like you, then he doesn't reply like the true you.

All society has been brainwashed not just women , but men too.

Similarly if a woman only with a guy for his money she doesn't really like him. Why reject a guy you find attractive, have everything in common with, because he makes min wage? Or doesn't make $22-40 an hour. Because they want to be middle class. Why because society says middle class is the better people. Poor people are sub human. Why? Because middle,class has more buying power=more money for wealthy. But problemmis middle class jobs are getting far and far less. Back in the day maybe 80% of jobs were middle class. Factory jobs were many and well paid. Now their few and less paid. Cheaper to make stuff over seas and ship it back. But when they'll done wiping th middle class out who's going buy their stuff?

Anyways most women seem to desire middle class men. But there's s lot less middle class men then there's women. I just don't get why you'd reject a 99% Match because he's 1% not perfect. This desire for s perfect match has left s lot of people single and single population keeps growing and growing. Lots and lots of unhappy single men and women. It's just sad.

Very few people are inventors dude. People like me are only good for manual repetitive labor and dying in wars.

People here always assume I'm going after well off or middle class women. I'm not I'm going after poor women, women who work min wage Etc, but what you all fair to grasp is those poor women want the same guys the well off women want, they think guys working the same job for the same pay as them are worthless. That their better then them.

Just because you're ___ way doesn't mean the majority is.
Most men aren't like me. I accept that, I'm not a society male like most are. I don't like sports, i don't work out, I don't drink alcohol, I don't see women as just sex,etc. I wouldn't gather around and talk about how I want to do nasty things to Jane in accounting or what my gf/wife did to me sexually last night, I don't compare sexual conquests, most men do. Go to a mechanic shop while their be quiet around you as you're a woman, you'll see nude posters and calendars everywhere. The things I've heard and seen when around normal males disturbs me, it'd disturb you too. I don't hang out with men much besides to shoot guns and play video games(even here half the talk is about women and sex, man I'm just trying to build and mine stuff and they talking about what their gf did last nig that was so hot )

There are society norms and lots of people from either gender align to them. Is how it is no amount of I'm not like that will change that most are. Most the people on this site are far better people then most humans alive, doubt any of us would murder people if given ththe chance with no punishments. However most normal people will run over a guy in a wheel chair and his kid to save 5seconds of drive time.

Wars like ww2 and others show humanities true self when there is no punishment no one saying don't do that. Disasters do to. Look how fast people turn on each other in a disaster.

Some surely do that, I don't mean that women do that in general but if some does, it is a bit hypocritical. But yeah if a woman approached me saying that I'd feel a bit puzzled too perhaps.

Weren't you saying that all guys want is sex? Or I misunderstood?

I wouldn't compare dying in a war with manual work, it seems a rather extreme comparison. Besides it's not like most people who work in offices do something very creative and inventive. Honest work should be valued in all its form and not looked down. Anyway you can always be creative out of your workplace if you want.

There's w minority of women who think because there this way all women must be the same way. They won't want to accept that they'll the different ones.

I'd like to assume most people were like me, but most people are like me. It's a dog eat dog world while I'm a lets all share and get along.

Just don't deeply fall into the life will forever only get worse and i'll forever be alone, downtrodden state..and i'm sure you'll be fine. You see things that aren't working well and are trying to better yourself and change things you want changed accordingly.

Last edited by 100000fireflies on 20 Jan 2016, 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just maybe, you were going on about your tvs and to be nice, she said 'wow, that's cool'. Why? Because you seemed quite into them and your possessions.

As the saying goes, if you've met one girl, you've met one girl.

Enter the corollary - successful women/women who earn high pay checks are turned down as, due to societal expectations, the man who earns less feel inferior.

And beauty in exchange for wealth? That's not a relationship, it's desperate prostitution.

Last edited by 100000fireflies on 20 Jan 2016, 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.