Is it unfair of me to ask my gf for a prenup in this case?

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How is it different in this case compared to others?

It's not different. Everyone should be careful about what people tell them on the Internet

I'm not getting at you specifically. I'm just concerned that you might put weight behind the advice of someone who doesn't know what they're talking about.

But I've just realised that I'm insulting your intelligence by saying that and that wasn't my intention. You are free to evaluate all comments as you see fit. That is none of my business.

By all means carry on. There's nothing wrong with asking questions. Don't mind me. I just wanted to say be cautious, that's all. I didn't think it would turn into questions about why.

Oh no I didn't feel my intelligence was insulted, I am just inquiring. Thanks.

Well I feel that maybe I should not get married and tell her that we need to take a step back, and work on certain issues before doing so. I did this before with her, back when we were going to get married sooner, but she was bothered by the way I was handling things with my money, such as not traveling on vacation with her and some things like that. She argued with me on it, so I postponed getting married back then.

But now I would be doing it again, considerably. However, me thinking of doing that is based off of what people said about her being manipulative here. So should I call off the wedding plans and tell her that, if the majority of people have said the same thing?

I don't think anything good will come out of him ignoring her birthday. That will just turn into more fights and hostile thoughts. Not a smart thing to do, unless he wants out of it.

I'd rather give her a nice present and a memorable day, and then maybe they would get out of this vicious circle of retaliation. Revenge is not for relationships, it's for enemies, and it kills love. There is a huge difference between playing games and revenge and retaliation. If you are into game-playing, make sure it's harmless things, and never get into ultimatums and revenge-retaliation.

married for seven years here to a funny, warm, agreeable guy. wouldn't pull away from your girlfriend if i were you.

I don't mean to not go to her birthday out of REVENGE, I just feel like I would be loosing my self respect if I go, based on people saying she is manipulating me.

Plus people say not to bring things up with her while she is upset, but she is always the one bringing up things to me, so I talk about these things with her, when she brings them up usually.

how would honoring the birthday of someone you've been close to for three years cause you to lose self-respect? if you have a schedule conflict, you don't have to go, but you should get her a gift and take her to dinner another time. i think this whole thing started over a non-issue because $200k isn't more money than you two need to live on. you're so afraid of being taken advantage of and having your pride wounded that you're considering throwing away a relationship that's worked for three years. i'm not so sure she is being manipulative. please see previous posts.

the differing views on whether to take a vacation or not may be a real problem, though. do you often have disagreements over how to spend money?

Well it's just people are saying she is manipulating me, and that test she gave yesterday, that people pointed out was a test, really took a serious blow to me.

Sometimes we disagreements on how to spend money. For random example, we went to the movies, and each payed our own. After the movie, we didn't like it, and she said that it was a waist of her money and can't believe she payed for it.

After the movie, my best friend sent us both a text, asking us to see a movie. I told him that I just came from a movie and I was tired and didn't feel like seeing anther one. She called him back saying she will go but she has no money. So my friend offered to pay for her, and she went with him instead, and I went home.

This didn't bother me much, but other people told me that she was being unfair to me. But was she?

That is just a random example, I will try to think of others.

As for putting too much emphasis on a prenup, after being taken advantage of the last time, before my gf, I made a vow to myself not to put myself in large positions to be taken advantage of again.

If I break my vow I made to myself, I feel like I would be losing my self respect, since our promises to ourselves are what make us who we are.

My gf says I am making too big a deal out of and we can break promises to ourselves and still have our self-respect. But what do you think?

(This is starting to feel like a psychology experiment being conducted on us.)

I am going to her birthday now. I am just mad about what she said and needed to cool off. But what she said was a really concerning to me. The whole test thing.

Did I screw up by not telling her about the lawyer and I deserved to be talked to that way? She says that most of the her harsh reactions are based on things that are my fault. Is it my fault, or not? Cause if it is, then maybe telling her I don't want to marry her is not fair to her.