Still haven't found a girlfriend

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goldfish21
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31 Dec 2016, 4:11 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
so first real girlfriend at age 34?


Nope.

Since we're not officially significant others at this point in time, it's more like my first time really dating someone steadily.

Although, I do hope that he becomes my first real boyfriend at age 34. 8)


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diablo
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31 Dec 2016, 4:36 pm

A lot of people say someone will come along eventually. But if you don't put in work and effort it won't happen, especially if you reside on the low end of the desirability scale. Speaking from experience.

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Last edited by diablo on 31 Dec 2016, 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jacoby
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31 Dec 2016, 4:50 pm

There is quite literally an expiration date on starting a family, maybe not in your 20s or even 30s but some point not long after that there definitely is.



goldfish21
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31 Dec 2016, 4:58 pm

Jacoby wrote:
There is quite literally an expiration date on starting a family, maybe not in your 20s or even 30s but some point not long after that there definitely is.


Only for females, really. Males can procreate WELL into their senior years.


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Jacoby
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31 Dec 2016, 5:10 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
There is quite literally an expiration date on starting a family, maybe not in your 20s or even 30s but some point not long after that there definitely is.


Only for females, really. Males can procreate WELL into their senior years.


Sure but it wouldn't seem right to me to have a kid in your 50/60s or beyond even if you were lucky enough to find a partner that much younger than you since you'd be so old before your child came of age.



goldfish21
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31 Dec 2016, 5:54 pm

Jacoby wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
There is quite literally an expiration date on starting a family, maybe not in your 20s or even 30s but some point not long after that there definitely is.


Only for females, really. Males can procreate WELL into their senior years.


Sure but it wouldn't seem right to me to have a kid in your 50/60s or beyond even if you were lucky enough to find a partner that much younger than you since you'd be so old before your child came of age.


Doesn't make it wrong. It does happen already. And while it may be a different set of challenges than when you're younger, it's not impossible and does have it's pros vs. all cons. Older males tend to be calmer, have more money, and can sort of spoil their own kid like others may spoil a grandchild. Just because it isn't the common norm doesn't mean there's anything inherently wrong with it.

Also, a male of almost any age passed the onset of puberty can spunk in a test tube and freeze it and impregnate someone 100 years from now. With modern technology we're no longer beyond our ability to reproduce even after death.


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WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2016, 8:14 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
so first real girlfriend at age 34?


Nope.

Since we're not officially significant others at this point in time, it's more like my first time really dating someone steadily.

Although, I do hope that he becomes my first real boyfriend at age 34. 8)


so when did you have your first girlfriend?



goldfish21
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31 Dec 2016, 9:01 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
so first real girlfriend at age 34?


Nope.

Since we're not officially significant others at this point in time, it's more like my first time really dating someone steadily.

Although, I do hope that he becomes my first real boyfriend at age 34. 8)


so when did you have your first girlfriend?


Um, I didn't ?? I'm gay. That's when a boy likes other boys.. :roll: :lol:

Like I said earlier, I dated a girl for a couple weeks when I was 17/around my 18th birthday. I hooked up with a few girls. I had a female FWB once. But I never really had a girlfriend ever. Because Aspie. And because gay.

Now I'm dating an incredible boy & I hope it evolves into a real relationship. Time will tell.


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31 Dec 2016, 9:23 pm

I am confused. You said you are gay but had experience with females before. Does that mean you just recently turned gay?

There are quite few things I don't agree with lgtbiq communities because their sexuality is not wholly fledged. It some sort of attention seeking. I have friends who are gay and lesbians. Not all are like that, since few lesbians I knew had sex with opposite gender. That doesn't mean they are lesbians.

So not to make assumption towards you, lgtbiq communities would be a problem providing your example if you always being gay but had sex with females. That mean you are not gay. You are bisexual. Sorry to mention this because it rather annoying.



voidofcontext
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31 Dec 2016, 9:40 pm

Sexuality, like many things we discuss here, is a spectrum.
Also, people can engage in sexual relations with whomever for a variety of reasons that may appear to contradict their overall preference but that doesn't invalidate their experience or identity.


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goldfish21
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31 Dec 2016, 10:20 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
I am confused. You said you are gay but had experience with females before. Does that mean you just recently turned gay?

There are quite few things I don't agree with lgtbiq communities because their sexuality is not wholly fledged. It some sort of attention seeking. I have friends who are gay and lesbians. Not all are like that, since few lesbians I knew had sex with opposite gender. That doesn't mean they are lesbians.

So not to make assumption towards you, lgtbiq communities would be a problem providing your example if you always being gay but had sex with females. That mean you are not gay. You are bisexual. Sorry to mention this because it rather annoying.


This guy said much of what I would have:

voidofcontext wrote:
Sexuality, like many things we discuss here, is a spectrum.
Also, people can engage in sexual relations with whomever for a variety of reasons that may appear to contradict their overall preference but that doesn't invalidate their experience or identity.


Yes, sexuality is a spectrum - and can be fluid and changing for some people, too. There's also a saying that "there's a little bi in every guy" for a reason. Some believe that no one is fully straight or gay, just some % of the mix. Based on statistics, I'm almost completely gay considering the % of partners I've been with who are male vs. female. We're talking like approximately 99% male partners vs. 1% female. I guess that makes me bi. :roll: Nope! Definitely very, very, gay. 8)



No, I didn't just turn gay. I've been attracted to other males as long as I can remember - back to 5 years old

That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have ever been sexually attracted to any girls. Also, it's extremely common for gay people to have sexual experiences with the opposite sex because society tells us we're SUPPOSED to sooo we tend to try it out and see if what we're told is "right" is right for us. Hell, I know gay guys that have gotten married and had kids and then decided they couldn't live a lie, split from their wives, and are with men instead. It still happens in modern day, too.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't make our reality any less real to any of us, regardless of you saying we are "attention seeking" or "not really gay" as if you're some sort of omniscient God of sexuality who for some reason thinks it's his place to determine and declare these things.

I bet you'll find almost any alphabet kid (LGBTQ2++++ whatever) would find your post at least mildly offensive. Sorry to mention this, but it's rather annoying. ;)


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Ecomatt91
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31 Dec 2016, 11:05 pm

I am speaking the language of terminology and action. Being gay states from the definition and sociology is just being attraction to same sex/gender. Nothing else. I am not religious. I have friends and family members are part of the lgtbiq communities. But it frustrating for me to see these people aren't following the terminology.



AngelRho
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01 Jan 2017, 12:58 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
I am speaking the language of terminology and action. Being gay states from the definition and sociology is just being attraction to same sex/gender. Nothing else. I am not religious. I have friends and family members are part of the lgtbiq communities. But it frustrating for me to see these people aren't following the terminology.

Be careful...you're wandering dangerously close to hate-speech territory.

Just speaking from my own experience alone, I find LGBTQ topics difficult to relate to because there are fundamental differences between hetero and other relationships that defy "the rules" in love and relationships. So I tend to limit myself either to strictly hetero topics or I use gender-neutral language. If you express much disagreement, you risk getting shouted-down and/or reported to mods. There are ways to coexist without annoying people.



Ecomatt91
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01 Jan 2017, 1:13 am

I don't hate people nor making a hate speech. I am just frustrated and furious why they aren't following the terminology that is all. I love the people who they are especially my friends and people I know are part of the communities.



Ecomatt91
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01 Jan 2017, 1:17 am

And a message for you people in the LGBTQ communities I don't hate you. I have family and friends who are identified in this community. I am Greens Party member and campaigner so I have been campaigning for marriage equality rights for number of years. Still so difficult to get the law passed in Australia!



AngelRho
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01 Jan 2017, 1:35 am

That's like saying "I'm not racist. My best friend is b...(shut up, Rho, SHUT. UP. !)