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It is possible to simply not have what women want?

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wilburforce
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01 Dec 2016, 3:09 pm

314pe wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
No it's not possible, because there is no thing or things that "women want"--women are individuals and every single one of us out there wants different things from men/women, from relationships, from life. So you could have everything one woman wants and absolutely nothing the next one wants. WE ARE INDIVIDUALS. There is no "what women want".

Do you know any individuals who are specifically looking for someone who is poorly educated, for example? Or socially awkward? Underemployed? Has bad health?

There's a fairly narrow range of characteristics that most people are looking for in a partner. It's very possible that some people don't meet these standards.


What about women who are poorly educated, or socially awkward, or underemployed, or in bad health? Don't you think women in those situtations would want to be with someone who will understand them and not judge them or see them as less-than? I don't have a degree, I am socially awkward, have never held down a job. I don't want to date some rich professional guy who is going to judge me as a peasant.


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01 Dec 2016, 3:17 pm

Some here are assuming that the typical poorly educated/degree-less woman would go for an equal man who is as poorly educated / degree-less.

But in reality ..... it's not the case in most of the cases, a poorly/jobless educated woman can get a man better educated and employed - that's one of the reasons why the 'housewive' occupation is still persisting ; it's something that the equally poorly educated and jobless man can't do.



RetroGamer87
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01 Dec 2016, 3:44 pm

wilburforce wrote:
What about women who are poorly educated, or socially awkward, or underemployed, or in bad health?
Ewwwwwwwwww. I wouldn't want to date girls like like that.

Especially not if they're poor. Poor girls turn me off big time. They don't have to be millionaires, just in the same income bracket as me. I'd never date an unemployed girl.


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sly279
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01 Dec 2016, 3:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
If someone wants casual sex that is easily obtainable.


not easily obtainable according to the masses of lonely men on these forums, basically impossible to obtain in fact for the lions' share of us.
Understanable. To a level it might be. Hookup culture from what I know is widspread. And many people on the forum talk about having done it.

the relatively elect [small] group of aspies doing this hooking-up are the highest of high-functioning with the highest social intelligence and highest social rank [NOT omegas]. they are the rock stars of the aspie world, the big fish in a small pond [WP].
I am curious now. Why do you say that? What is your experience of hearing of some of the difficulties people with Asperger's have?
I have noticed that where there are the descriptions of despair from the chronically lonely singleton aspie WPers, the responses, when they come, fall into a few broad categories-

*1-"don't bother us, creep." [the social relationships version of "i got mine, screw you!"]
*2-"you'll find somebody, don't worry."
*3-"what's the matter with you? why can't you do it, it's so easy!" [said by the aforementioned high-functioners]
*some combination of 2 and 3. it needs to be said that 2 and 3 certainly mean well or at least mean no harm, and I hold nothing against them.

extrapolating at least in part from my own situation, the chronically lonely are despairing of finding any answers they can understand, it is all a mystery to them as to why they are stuck in this situation [being social rejects], and any way out seems as far away as heaven- like they were born without a crucial social key [key brain parts/genes] that everybody else has. there is a major feeling of missing something, and, well, being on the wrong planet. :mrgreen: a lot of us cope by being hermits.


I get a lot of the #1

I'm high functioning but I can't get a girlfriend or even friends. I'm such a failure. I wish there was a cure for autism. I'd take it if meant I'd be normal, get a good job and gf.



Shahunshah
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01 Dec 2016, 3:56 pm

sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
If someone wants casual sex that is easily obtainable.


not easily obtainable according to the masses of lonely men on these forums, basically impossible to obtain in fact for the lions' share of us.
Understanable. To a level it might be. Hookup culture from what I know is widspread. And many people on the forum talk about having done it.

the relatively elect [small] group of aspies doing this hooking-up are the highest of high-functioning with the highest social intelligence and highest social rank [NOT omegas]. they are the rock stars of the aspie world, the big fish in a small pond [WP].
I am curious now. Why do you say that? What is your experience of hearing of some of the difficulties people with Asperger's have?
I have noticed that where there are the descriptions of despair from the chronically lonely singleton aspie WPers, the responses, when they come, fall into a few broad categories-

*1-"don't bother us, creep." [the social relationships version of "i got mine, screw you!"]
*2-"you'll find somebody, don't worry."
*3-"what's the matter with you? why can't you do it, it's so easy!" [said by the aforementioned high-functioners]
*some combination of 2 and 3. it needs to be said that 2 and 3 certainly mean well or at least mean no harm, and I hold nothing against them.

extrapolating at least in part from my own situation, the chronically lonely are despairing of finding any answers they can understand, it is all a mystery to them as to why they are stuck in this situation [being social rejects], and any way out seems as far away as heaven- like they were born without a crucial social key [key brain parts/genes] that everybody else has. there is a major feeling of missing something, and, well, being on the wrong planet. :mrgreen: a lot of us cope by being hermits.


I get a lot of the #1

I'm high functioning but I can't get a girlfriend or even friends. I'm such a failure. I wish there was a cure for autism. I'd take it if meant I'd be normal, get a good job and gf.


Well how do you think you come across to others?



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Dec 2016, 3:58 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
What about women who are poorly educated, or socially awkward, or underemployed, or in bad health?
Ewwwwwwwwww. I wouldn't want to date girls like like that.

Especially not if they're poor. Poor girls turn me off big time. They don't have to be millionaires, just in the same income bracket as me. I'd never date an unemployed girl.


You know there are members here who may be very poor due to their AS and other health conditions.
Your over-Ewwww reaction is almost trolling... tsk tsk not nice of you.



sly279
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01 Dec 2016, 4:09 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
If someone wants casual sex that is easily obtainable.


not easily obtainable according to the masses of lonely men on these forums, basically impossible to obtain in fact for the lions' share of us.
Understanable. To a level it might be. Hookup culture from what I know is widspread. And many people on the forum talk about having done it.

the relatively elect [small] group of aspies doing this hooking-up are the highest of high-functioning with the highest social intelligence and highest social rank [NOT omegas]. they are the rock stars of the aspie world, the big fish in a small pond [WP].
I am curious now. Why do you say that? What is your experience of hearing of some of the difficulties people with Asperger's have?
I have noticed that where there are the descriptions of despair from the chronically lonely singleton aspie WPers, the responses, when they come, fall into a few broad categories-

*1-"don't bother us, creep." [the social relationships version of "i got mine, screw you!"]
*2-"you'll find somebody, don't worry."
*3-"what's the matter with you? why can't you do it, it's so easy!" [said by the aforementioned high-functioners]
*some combination of 2 and 3. it needs to be said that 2 and 3 certainly mean well or at least mean no harm, and I hold nothing against them.

extrapolating at least in part from my own situation, the chronically lonely are despairing of finding any answers they can understand, it is all a mystery to them as to why they are stuck in this situation [being social rejects], and any way out seems as far away as heaven- like they were born without a crucial social key [key brain parts/genes] that everybody else has. there is a major feeling of missing something, and, well, being on the wrong planet. :mrgreen: a lot of us cope by being hermits.


I get a lot of the #1

I'm high functioning but I can't get a girlfriend or even friends. I'm such a failure. I wish there was a cure for autism. I'd take it if meant I'd be normal, get a good job and gf.


Well how do you think you come across to others?

It's on here. And it's cause surprise surprise I'm not happy with being along forever, unloved and seen as worthless creep cause I'm not social professional and have well paid job. It upsets people's dream life where they got theirs and don't want to hear others complain who haven't. It's the age old, haves vs have nots.

Course they don't want you to kill yourself. They want you to suffer, without people like me suffering, who'd they compare themselves to to know they better.



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01 Dec 2016, 4:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
What about women who are poorly educated, or socially awkward, or underemployed, or in bad health?
Ewwwwwwwwww. I wouldn't want to date girls like like that.

Especially not if they're poor. Poor girls turn me off big time. They don't have to be millionaires, just in the same income bracket as me. I'd never date an unemployed girl.
You know there are members here who may be very poor due to their AS and other health conditions.
Your over-Ewwww reaction is almost trolling... tsk tsk not nice of you.
Sorry. I guess it sounded really mean. I just wanted to show that it's possible to not have what men want.

On L&D I hear so many poor guys say they can't get a date and they mischaracterized girls as gold diggers (I don't blame girls for wanting financial stability, I want the same thing, someone who won't become financially dependant on me). Anyway, when they say girls are gold diggers just because they want financial stability it sounds really sexist of them.

I wanted to demonstrate that this isn't a problem that affects only one sex. Men and women are more similar than some people think.


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RetroGamer87
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01 Dec 2016, 4:14 pm

sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
If someone wants casual sex that is easily obtainable.
not easily obtainable according to the masses of lonely men on these forums, basically impossible to obtain in fact for the lions' share of us.
Understanable. To a level it might be. Hookup culture from what I know is widspread. And many people on the forum talk about having done it.
the relatively elect [small] group of aspies doing this hooking-up are the highest of high-functioning with the highest social intelligence and highest social rank [NOT omegas]. they are the rock stars of the aspie world, the big fish in a small pond [WP].
I am curious now. Why do you say that? What is your experience of hearing of some of the difficulties people with Asperger's have?
I have noticed that where there are the descriptions of despair from the chronically lonely singleton aspie WPers, the responses, when they come, fall into a few broad categories-

*1-"don't bother us, creep." [the social relationships version of "i got mine, screw you!"]
*2-"you'll find somebody, don't worry."
*3-"what's the matter with you? why can't you do it, it's so easy!" [said by the aforementioned high-functioners]
*some combination of 2 and 3. it needs to be said that 2 and 3 certainly mean well or at least mean no harm, and I hold nothing against them.

extrapolating at least in part from my own situation, the chronically lonely are despairing of finding any answers they can understand, it is all a mystery to them as to why they are stuck in this situation [being social rejects], and any way out seems as far away as heaven- like they were born without a crucial social key [key brain parts/genes] that everybody else has. there is a major feeling of missing something, and, well, being on the wrong planet. :mrgreen: a lot of us cope by being hermits.
I get a lot of the #1
Sly, you are the nicest, most uncreepy guy I've ever heard of. You'd probably make a much better boyfriend than me.


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01 Dec 2016, 4:21 pm

sly279 wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
If someone wants casual sex that is easily obtainable.


not easily obtainable according to the masses of lonely men on these forums, basically impossible to obtain in fact for the lions' share of us.
Understanable. To a level it might be. Hookup culture from what I know is widspread. And many people on the forum talk about having done it.

the relatively elect [small] group of aspies doing this hooking-up are the highest of high-functioning with the highest social intelligence and highest social rank [NOT omegas]. they are the rock stars of the aspie world, the big fish in a small pond [WP].
I am curious now. Why do you say that? What is your experience of hearing of some of the difficulties people with Asperger's have?
I have noticed that where there are the descriptions of despair from the chronically lonely singleton aspie WPers, the responses, when they come, fall into a few broad categories-

*1-"don't bother us, creep." [the social relationships version of "i got mine, screw you!"]
*2-"you'll find somebody, don't worry."
*3-"what's the matter with you? why can't you do it, it's so easy!" [said by the aforementioned high-functioners]
*some combination of 2 and 3. it needs to be said that 2 and 3 certainly mean well or at least mean no harm, and I hold nothing against them.

extrapolating at least in part from my own situation, the chronically lonely are despairing of finding any answers they can understand, it is all a mystery to them as to why they are stuck in this situation [being social rejects], and any way out seems as far away as heaven- like they were born without a crucial social key [key brain parts/genes] that everybody else has. there is a major feeling of missing something, and, well, being on the wrong planet. :mrgreen: a lot of us cope by being hermits.


I get a lot of the #1

I'm high functioning but I can't get a girlfriend or even friends. I'm such a failure. I wish there was a cure for autism. I'd take it if meant I'd be normal, get a good job and gf.


Well how do you think you come across to others?

It's on here. And it's cause surprise surprise I'm not happy with being along forever, unloved and seen as worthless creep cause I'm not social professional and have well paid job. It upsets people's dream life where they got theirs and don't want to hear others complain who haven't. It's the age old, haves vs have nots.

Course they don't want you to kill yourself. They want you to suffer, without people like me suffering, who'd they compare themselves to to know they better.
Sly your not a creep, in fact from all your posts it seems as though you are the further-est thing from it. If people judge you like that it is their fault not yours.

Well are you ever called a creep by others?



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01 Dec 2016, 7:40 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some here are assuming that the typical poorly educated/degree-less woman would go for an equal man who is as poorly educated / degree-less.

But in reality ..... it's not the case in most of the cases, a poorly/jobless educated woman can get a man better educated and employed - that's one of the reasons why the 'housewive' occupation is still persisting ; it's something that the equally poorly educated and jobless man can't do.


Yeah.

Personally I actually want a girl with a few disabilities mainly anxiety/medium depression but not disabilities that make her mean or aggressive or so depressed she self-harms or abuses substances I can't deal with a cutter or addict especially because I'm so depressed but don't do that stuff myself but take care of my body.

Hmm i wonder howmany girls my age want a friendly, laidback relaxed guy who spends all day everyday sitting behind a computer, making music, exercising bike riding and weekend beach trips. No study, no job, no car, lives at home, no nearby friends cuz they all live far away, volunteers rarely.

My dream girl is just girl version of me. That's all I've ever wanted nothing more. I look average and love average girls. Not overweight and also want a healthy weight girl.



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01 Dec 2016, 7:45 pm

most evahbody else wants better than what they rate, everybody wants a prize. :|



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01 Dec 2016, 8:17 pm

auntblabby wrote:
most evahbody else wants better than what they rate, everybody wants a prize. :|


The weird thing is that when I was single I had grand ideas about what I wanted in a man, how I wanted him to be.

I wanted a smart scientist with a thick head of hair who was bubbly and out going and all that jazz.

But when I stared to talk to people I realised that the outgoing people didn't really fit me because they wanted to go out all the time when I would be happy to stay in and watch netflix. I even briefly dated a rich guy but he turned out to be a not very nice person.

My fiance is someone I never realised I would be attracted to. He has a wonderful wonky smile, thinning hair, he is not well educated (he is working on that though), he isn't a scientist, he is friendly but not really out going, he can be grumpy at times and sometimes he makes me cringe.

I realised that he was perfect for me and all the things I usually disliked I loved on him.



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01 Dec 2016, 8:18 pm

auntblabby wrote:
most evahbody else wants better than what they rate, everybody wants a prize. :|

Yes I do!


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01 Dec 2016, 8:21 pm

Alliekit wrote:
My fiance is someone I never realised I would be attracted to. He has a wonderful wonky smile, thinning hair, he is not well educated (he is working on that though), he isn't a scientist, he is friendly but not really out going, he can be grumpy at times and sometimes he makes me cringe. I realised that he was perfect for me and all the things I usually disliked I loved on him.

curious about what he does that is cringe-worthy? anyways, love is a fine kind of madness :mrgreen:



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01 Dec 2016, 8:26 pm

Outrider wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some here are assuming that the typical poorly educated/degree-less woman would go for an equal man who is as poorly educated / degree-less.

But in reality ..... it's not the case in most of the cases, a poorly/jobless educated woman can get a man better educated and employed - that's one of the reasons why the 'housewive' occupation is still persisting ; it's something that the equally poorly educated and jobless man can't do.


Yeah.

Personally I actually want a girl with a few disabilities mainly anxiety/medium depression but not disabilities that make her mean or aggressive or so depressed she self-harms or abuses substances I can't deal with a cutter or addict especially because I'm so depressed but don't do that stuff myself but take care of my body.

Hmm i wonder howmany girls my age want a friendly, laidback relaxed guy who spends all day everyday sitting behind a computer, making music, exercising bike riding and weekend beach trips. No study, no job, no car, lives at home, no nearby friends cuz they all live far away, volunteers rarely.

My dream girl is just girl version of me. That's all I've ever wanted nothing more. I look average and love average girls. Not overweight and also want a healthy weight girl.
I am beginning to feel like this as well. The traits I would like in a woman are intelligence, assertiveness and sensitivity. However more as I think about, I feel as though they are the traits I like to imagine myself as having.