Are women's standards really this high?

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I would like to travel alone---but I would like to meet people on the way.

nice! those are both much farther than what i have traveled by myself by car.

this is my current record , just under 40 miles:



from santa barbara (home) to oxnard. that was very recently, on new years day. i drove my dad and uncle to carpinteria (10 or so miles from home) and that night i drove myself to oxnard where i spent the night and had ONE beer. that was also my longest night drive and the first time trying out the cruise control system in my car, or any car really.

it works, but i wasn't too comfortable giving up all my control over the throttle. the instant i saw a brake light go off in front of me i scrambled to turn cruise control off.

i've always wanted to drive interstate or maybe even cross country, but i think that might only happen spoon if the roads were completely abandoned.

the following afternoon i drove all the way back, unfazed.

8 hours is defintely more than i can stomach right now. how were the roads in australia where you drove?

(and who was the 21 y/o girl? )



the day i left there was an explosion in an istanbul stadium. 38 dead.

i thought that if my dad heard about that, there was no WAY i'd be going. (he didn't find out in the end)

really, i'm just as impressed as you managing to drive that far for that long!

yeah, it most definitely depends on the place. i noticed that people in mexico are more chatty than what i noticed in europe, like shopkeepers are closer to their customers and engage them in conversation.

then again....that might just be because i mainly hung out in cities in europe, and when i go to mexico i stay in smaller towns where i have family members, and individuals in small towns are clearly going to be more closely knit with a stronger sense of community than those in bigger cities, unless you divide them by district or neighborhood.

i've also heard of westerners doing well socially in japan and the far east, but it doesn't exactly entice me to go. i don't speak a lick of japanese, and japan is probably not as polyglot as western europe.

i have a cousin who is going to japan this month. i could ask him about customs, it'd be interesting.

Certainly the level of English in Japan isn't comparable to Western Europe or Scandinavia, however I have found on my visits to Japan that even if the person who approaches you doesn't speak any English, they will try really, really hard to convey what they mean through gestures, mime and so on. It can make for some very quirky and fun interaction.

^ I think an Aspie from US might even fail to be diagnosed in Japan by a Japanese psychiatrist.

Which again....reinforces my belief in the theory that AS is simply a range human personality variations (that doesn't mean it's totally non-genetic) socially constructed as a mental illness/disorder in certain cultures; unlike Classic Autism which would be obviously seen as an abnormal condition (even people who don't know what Autism is will know that this kid has something not typical) everywhere and restricts daily functions which makes it undoubtedly a disorder.

It sounds the Philippines is opposite, It's a very very very sociable culture(s).

Forget about the data roaming, it can be crazily expensive especially if your phone plan is fixed.

Disable it.

Just buy a cheap data sim from the destination's airport, and load it in your secondary phone/tablet - it is also very helpful if you download earlier on wifi (they're huge) the country's map for offline use; I think it's possible on Google maps Android, and there's also HERE for the iphone for that.

Also it's useful if you bookmark places earlier on the map to load them in the taxi quickly.

And don't wear belt, watch and high shoes on the travel day because they're annoyances on the security checkpoints in the airport, unless you have a work meeting quickly after your arrival, don't carry any liquids or sharp things in the bag too (ie. nail scissors, take nail clipper instead and remove its tiny knife if it has one) .

And always buy enough local currency in the airport, it may hard to find a change office outside.

I recommend Prague, Czech Republic, they're fairly polyglot , I was surprised how many knew French fluently too.

Turkey....umm well...it's getting dangerous for tourists now and they're probably the most monolingual people in the world.

Which is sad because it has to be one of the most wonderful places I have visited

I read a few related posts in this thread but not sure this exact point was brought up or not: A big part of why some Aspies do well with travel is that others in the places you visit excuse your "odd" behaviour as simply being because you are foreign, not because you wouldn't have a clue how to behave "properly" in the social world of any place you were in - including home. So, being in a foreign place kinda gives you a free pass at making simple social blunders.. people don't assume you're an idiot, they just figure "meh, dude's not from around here.. cut him a little slack," and everyone has a better time for it.

I've read that Aspies experience this particular phenomenon most in Japan because their culture is SO polite & forgiving. Makes sense to me.

Women differ greatly, like men do, and all have problems -- NT or otherwise. Women like the writer that the OP is discussing aren't my friends, typically, I've never really understood them.

Re. travel -- since folks on the Spectrum often learn to interact with NTs in a similar, cognitive way to how one learns a foreign culture, we might find the process of going to other foreign cultures interesting. Maybe more females learn this way, we mimic etc.? I know I do! The subtle differences in rules, body language etc. are very interesting to try to pick up. One can read about the rule differences too which helps.

I studied cross-cultural anthropology and animal behavior way back in college, it fascinated me. (Diagnosed just last year.) I also love travel, but some countries are easier for me than others; from my very limited travels, I think I love the Netherlands best due to the culture of tolerance combined with humanitarianism. Plus bikes, gardens, and chocolate.

I don't think I would base my opinion of what women want on young, liberal, feminist yuppies.

I mean, OK, yes, there are a lot of them. But they are not the entirety, or in my opinion the best, of the female population.

True but there are a lot of them. This number is increasing all the time. I think they're in the majority. How many 25 year old girls do you know who are politically conservative?

LOL I'm 39. I only know three women in their 20s right now (I don't think my cousin turns 30 until this fall). Two out of the three are so conservative they called me up to gloat when Trump won the election because they thought I was a Clinton voter (I wasn't). Of course, they also married young, so they're out of the dating pool. And I don't think anyone in their right mind would want my cousin. She's young, and thin, and beautiful, and good at polite small-talk (and a fan of The Frisky). She's also an opiate addict with two or three mental and behavioral disorders that decidedly have her right now instead of the other way round.

Single conservative sex-goddesses?? Probably not too many of those.

Young conservative women?? They're out there. You just have to look harder to find them, and most of them are slow to warm up and want to take relationships at a snail's pace.

that is actually what i tried to do. i bought a prepaid data sim card at the airport good for the entire duration of my stay to avoid having to rely on data roaming, but it didn't work, being incompatible the activation policy used when i got/setup my phone (their words, not mine) which was years ago. i did not imagine i'd be traveling to these places, then.

oh well, always more foresight.

i did not know about the HERE app, that sounds really useful. thanks for the suggestion.



i wear a very simple holeless belt (which is basically a strip of cloth with two semicircular metal loops) and glasses out of necessity, but besides that i don't have much in the way of accessories. my slip on shoes are very easy to take on/off.

have never carried liquid in bags during any of my travels.

how is hungary, in terms of being polyglot? i thought about visiting pecs while i was over there, but it would have been too far of a trip for me. maybe budapest someday?

i think merely staying in ataturk airport for 13 hours is more proximity to turkey than my parents are comfortable with.

Lol, when you're my age you quite literally have no choice in the matter.

Its so difficult to meet misanthropic nihilist girl while young.

So many young people are very optimistic and idealist, thinking they can change the world.

I grew out of that stage at 14, and the vast majority of adults realize this too eventually, young people just don't.

Why would you say that?

Many young people can change the world in ways I don't think you realize. By participating in activism, changing the values of society they can create real change in the world. Why should we shy away from that? It was because of activism in many cases by young people that states changed their laws to allow gay people to wed.

what's honestly the point in being a nihilist. If I was in medieval Europe I would have been but then something changed, Humanity ticked. We started judging others less, we supported those who were downtrodden and we made society a better place. How can you say everything is hopeless like is implied by nihilism when we can do so much to make things better.

Last edited by Shahunshah on 06 Jan 2017, 6:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

are you sure you want to be around those?

i mean yeah, bouncy optimism gets grating, but i've been around those nihilist misanthropic types and they just sucked all the life out of me, and i couldn't find a word to say to them.

maybe that's what you want. if you're on that wavelength.