Aspie women why do you defend all women?

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I'm not the type of person who would choose to experience great stress and discomfort if it means I have a job.

Look, I think even NTs do, but for them going to work daily for 10-12hrs doesn't feel like life or death.

There's having a job that causes you some stress and then there's literally feeling like just showing up is a life or death situation that gets your adrenaline pumping and heart rate up.

Pushing yourself to your mental and physical peak.

Would you take a job where you hunt a lion day 1? An uncaged, untrained, wild bloodlusted lion you.must hunt with nothing more than a knife. You must do this every day at work. Would you feel.comfortable or would you be afraid?

That sums up every volunteer position I try to undertake.

Okay, so you do understand what I go through.

But you can't understand why, unlike you, not everyone is strong enough (yet) to hunt a lion 5 days a week for 8hrs?

You can't see why the daily pain you experience would break.some people.not as mentally strong?

Mental toughness is a muscle, it has to be built up slowly and atrophies when it isn't used.

You have built your.mental toughness overtime, so you should have consideration for the fact others are at day 1 of mental.toughness training.

Your choice of wording says it all.

I DONT feel "defective" or weak, or useless or a loser.

When I'm very depressed sure but in my day to day life I'm.just a.normal person with abnormal problems.and difficulties.

I am not automatically inferior to NTs if working a job is more difficult..

And besides. If I did believe I was "defective" how is that supposed to help my mental health?

People thought i was ambitious and hardworking in high school.

In the areas that matter to.me sure, in music, health, fitness, happiness yes, in career and living alone no.

I am very hard on myself in these areas, but not in the areas that 'matter'. Not in career or financial independence.

The fact people with.mental illnesses are considered losers by society says it all.

Am I the only one who thinks it's more mature for a guy to evaluate his finances and priorities and come to the conclusion that a car isn't feasible, than trying to cram a car into an already strained budget?

Then again, I may be the only woman on the planet who appreciate good sense and frugality. There are times in my life I could've bought a car, but it was an extra source of stress I didn't need.

That too.

I think historically middle class could never afford a lot of.the things today in their whole lifetime and now that they can (barely) they're trying to live the high class life.

So many middle class punch above their weight and try to live like theyre.richer than they really are.

Thats why you see people.making $100,000 a year living paycheck to paycheck.

"What are your spending habits?"

"Oh, we're really careful with our spending! Just petrol for our two four wheel drives. $15 YMCA membership for Jimmy, my $30 a month gym.membership, $10 an hour for our gardener, $15 a month for Sarah's youth group, $2400 a year on the new iphone (one for each kid), $3000 a fortnight on food (cause the fathers a bit chubby. Little Jimmy is a bodybuilder), about $5,000, a year for.birthday and Christmas.presents, our $6,000 holiday at the end of the year, bills, car rego, my $50 on Sportsnet every Friday nights when the games on, $50 at the pub on fridays, a pack a day of cigarettes, Angelica's piano lessons, her $15 a week swimming lessons, $20 allowance per week for all 3 kids, a new $8000 TV every Two years, new $6000 laptop every two years for each kid plus my wife. every new.console when it comes out straight away, when we spend about $50 going out to dinner as a family 3 night a week and $30-80 going out somewhere on Saturday.

I just don't know where all The.money goes.

*scratches his head, takes a sip from.his sixth $5 coffee of the day while talking.to his friend at the restaurant. Takes.a bite out of his $20 meal.

Its not that.middle class.don't budget, most of.them.do.

Its just that.some are.better at it than others.

I agree Fireblossom with good budgeting $90 a month for one person is fine.

I personally never buy any food or drink when I go out and always take.something with me, don't eat fast food, don't drink alcohol, don't drink coffee,.smoke, etc.

The savings do wonders!

Hale_Bopp I understand on paper these are good things for Sly to have, but Sly is trying to work within his range. That would be like telling a kid that tomorrow he should be a doctor. You can't be a doctor in one day, it takes years of training and a lot of college degree work. Likewise, some of these things look very expensive for Sly. I think for now Sly should focus on his depression and self esteem issues first before tackling all of those other problems. You can't eat an entire elephant in on sitting. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. I'm betting that Sly should take the advice he is getting and go with that advice expecting he has to keep at it for a good amount of years to get true results back. But he has to keep at it even when it hurts.

For example, a new job? A new job that pays well takes a crap ton of time to find and to actually get selected. At one interview for a job I saw the employer carry a stack, literally a stack, of papers that were resumes for the same position I was wanting.