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Closet Genious
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06 Nov 2017, 6:24 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
314pe wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
314pe wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I've seen dating profiles that say she spends all year saving and then blows it all on an elaborate holiday every year. What will she own if she does this for ten years in a row? Spending your money in this way seems very immature to me.

My wife has a friend. This friend has dropped out of university several times. She has never held a steady job. All her jobs were minimal wage more fun hobby than a real job. Yet she had no problem spending her husbands money on travels and expensive art books. After they've divorced (because of course they have divorced), she had a brief period of depression because she had no way of sustaining her lifestyle. But then she found another guy and now she's living the same life. She is about 25 or 26 now, jobless, thinks about applying for the university next autumn and travelling to nearby cities every weekend.

Is she immature or very smart and successful? What do you think? Both perhaps?

I think the desire for an ambitious partner can work both ways. Yes there are women who want an ambitious boyfriend. There are also men such as myself who want an ambitious girlfriend.

The same standards those girls apply to guys, I apply to girls. As hale_bopp said, if someone has no ambition, they're boring.

It's not just about money. It's not just about career. If a man or woman is not committed enough to have / be getting a career, this lack of commitment may also be reflected in other aspects of their life.

I want a girl who is / will be middle class like I am, not because I want her to give me money but so I don't have to support her. This way we can both live a middle class lifestyle together while both paying an equal share of living expenses.

At the moment I'm dating an unemployed girl and she has a lot of ambition. She's in the second year of her master's in finance and soon she will be a career woman.

She's playful and young at heart but she's very mature about her commitments. She always tries her best not only in her studies but in every aspect of her life.

Fingers crossed that she won't become more successful that you. That could grow into an issue. Although, to be honest, man's ambitions can become an issue in a relationship regardless. For example, I remember when by best friend's wife was complaining how her husband is only making a bit more than the average pay for his job. It didn't matter that she was unemployed at that time.

It wouldn't bother me if she became more successful than me but it might bother her if she feels I'm not pulling my weight.


Well, statistically, marriages where the woman outearns the husband, are way more likely to end in divorce.



RetroGamer87
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06 Nov 2017, 6:25 am

Outrider wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Who spends $4000 per year on bithday gifts? Or thousands of dollars a week on food?? Unless they have 10 children?

People who buy an iPhone for each of their kids (gotta have the trendy brand :roll: )


Brand new I phones are like $800 aren't they?

3 kids = $2,400 right there.

Hale_Bopp, welcome to Middle Class Australia.


$800? Maybe in America. We have to pay beach tax, remember?

Below is a recent listing of prices for late model iPhones from JB hi fi.

These are the phones the teenyboppers think are trendy. They ask their parents for them so they can keep up with what their high school friends have.

They're designed more to be fashion accessories than useful tools. That's why they cost as much as a designer handbag.

Of course if those prices are to expensive their parents might just buy them on contract but that might end up costing two or three times as much in the long run (phone contracts can end up being a tax on people who can't do arithmetic).

Image


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Outrider
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06 Nov 2017, 6:56 am

Mind = Blown.

8O 8O 8O



Outrider
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06 Nov 2017, 7:00 am

Closet Genious wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
314pe wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
314pe wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I've seen dating profiles that say she spends all year saving and then blows it all on an elaborate holiday every year. What will she own if she does this for ten years in a row? Spending your money in this way seems very immature to me.

My wife has a friend. This friend has dropped out of university several times. She has never held a steady job. All her jobs were minimal wage more fun hobby than a real job. Yet she had no problem spending her husbands money on travels and expensive art books. After they've divorced (because of course they have divorced), she had a brief period of depression because she had no way of sustaining her lifestyle. But then she found another guy and now she's living the same life. She is about 25 or 26 now, jobless, thinks about applying for the university next autumn and travelling to nearby cities every weekend.

Is she immature or very smart and successful? What do you think? Both perhaps?

I think the desire for an ambitious partner can work both ways. Yes there are women who want an ambitious boyfriend. There are also men such as myself who want an ambitious girlfriend.

The same standards those girls apply to guys, I apply to girls. As hale_bopp said, if someone has no ambition, they're boring.

It's not just about money. It's not just about career. If a man or woman is not committed enough to have / be getting a career, this lack of commitment may also be reflected in other aspects of their life.

I want a girl who is / will be middle class like I am, not because I want her to give me money but so I don't have to support her. This way we can both live a middle class lifestyle together while both paying an equal share of living expenses.

At the moment I'm dating an unemployed girl and she has a lot of ambition. She's in the second year of her master's in finance and soon she will be a career woman.

She's playful and young at heart but she's very mature about her commitments. She always tries her best not only in her studies but in every aspect of her life.

Fingers crossed that she won't become more successful that you. That could grow into an issue. Although, to be honest, man's ambitions can become an issue in a relationship regardless. For example, I remember when by best friend's wife was complaining how her husband is only making a bit more than the average pay for his job. It didn't matter that she was unemployed at that time.

It wouldn't bother me if she became more successful than me but it might bother her if she feels I'm not pulling my weight.


Well, statistically, marriages where the woman outearns the husband, are way more likely to end in divorce.



Would you just so happen to agree that the reason a lot of men don't want to date a woman who outearns him isn't because he's "insecure" but because most of the women who say they would date a man who earns less tend to turn around and realize they don't like it?

And that rather than a paranoid insecurity, its a very real, justified fear for the man to worry about because it CAN and sometimes DOES result in him being dumped over it?



314pe
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06 Nov 2017, 7:35 am

Outrider wrote:
Would you just so happen to agree that the reason a lot of men don't want to date a woman who outearns him isn't because he's "insecure" but because most of the women who say they would date a man who earns less tend to turn around and realize they don't like it?

And that rather than a paranoid insecurity, its a very real, justified fear for the man to worry about because it CAN and sometimes DOES result in him being dumped over it?

I do agree. A lot of women don't want to be breadwinners because it puts a lot of pressure. It's not the same as supporting only yourself.



Closet Genious
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06 Nov 2017, 8:23 am

@Outrider: Absolutely. Otherwise it would just mean more money right?

It's because men know insinctually that her earning more will increase the chances of her either finding someone else, or cheating. Regardless of whether they know the stats or not.



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06 Nov 2017, 8:33 am

I believe that statistically marriages are most likely to work out when the man earns slightly more money and the woman is the slightly better looking half of the couple ie she's an eight and he's a seven.

This is because in both cases the person feels more secure and is less jealous when they see themselves as contributing a bit more than 50% to the relationship. If they feel they are contributing a lot more than the other then they become dissatisfied.

A woman who is very beautiful (or thinks she is) may feel that her good looks are equal to his paying for everything, so for a while they both see the relationship as even. But as she ages the value of her contribution goes down and the wealthy husband becomes dissatisfied (cheats).

If a man is very wealthy he may feel as long as he is paying for everything he does not need to contribute to his partner in other ways eg respect, affection. Eventually the woman will often feel lonely. Rich people have the highest divorce rates.

It is the equality of the contributions to the relationship that appears to be the important element even if they do not necessarily divide everything exactly.

I find it interesting that the actions of NT's too appear dominated more by their insecurities than their strengths.



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06 Nov 2017, 8:37 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
An NT spends 5 mins, if that, writing a profile on a dating sight then forgets about it two miniuts later.
We spend days analysing and debating that profile depressing ourselves and each other, conclusion? well which ever one we come to you can bet we will analyse it to death. :)


Yep, that about sums it up. I personally spent hours writing and perfecting my dating profile and when it led to little success, I re-wrote it again and again assuming the problem was me. As I tend to do, I projected on everyone else and presumed they spent hours on their profiles. I am starting to think 5 minutes is being generous looking back.

Outrider wrote:
A lot of girls my age I've met have everything given to them, parents paying for their $4,000 Euro trip, givng.them brand new cars, paying for their university studies, etc.

That would explain why so many of them have been around the world multiple times with their crappy job. It really struck me how you said this is seen as normal. My wife had most of her tuition paid for, lived rent free and didn't seem to think that was unusual. She even had her job handed to her likely as a favor to her father.

I also find it shocking that I was at a McDonalds once and there was a group of elementary school aged kids. EVERYone of the them had a better phone than I do! I couldn't believe parents would even buy children phones because they obviously can't buy them alone.



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06 Nov 2017, 8:47 am

Glad you understand.

And thank you for your personal example with you wife.

That's exactly what I mean. Young women who are raised spoiled by their middle class parents often expect their boyfriend to provide the same sort of lifestyle her parents did when it was really an illusion.

The only way he can provide that lifestyle for her is if he adopts the same reckless spending habits as her parents, then she and him will become just like her parents and do the same, live paycheck to paycheck and in debt even though they're both high earners.

And then the cycle just continues as each generation passes down these economic and financial habits to their kids.



fluffysaurus
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06 Nov 2017, 8:58 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
I believe that statistically marriages are most likely to work out when the man earns slightly more money and the woman is the slightly better looking half of the couple ie she's an eight and he's a seven.

This is because in both cases the person feels more secure and is less jealous when they see themselves as contributing a bit more than 50% to the relationship. If they feel they are contributing a lot more than the other then they become dissatisfied.

A woman who is very beautiful (or thinks she is) may feel that her good looks are equal to his paying for everything, so for a while they both see the relationship as even. But as she ages the value of her contribution goes down and the wealthy husband becomes dissatisfied (cheats).

If a man is very wealthy he may feel as long as he is paying for everything he does not need to contribute to his partner in other ways eg respect, affection. Eventually the woman will often feel lonely. Rich people have the highest divorce rates.

It is the equality of the contributions to the relationship that appears to be the important element even if they do not necessarily divide everything exactly.

I find it interesting that the actions of NT's too appear dominated more by their insecurities than their strengths.


Ha Ha quoting myself.
I just re-read the start and realised it could sound like I think men should pay for everything and women look good. I did not mean this. I was using mens' money and womens' looks as examples of what we are most insecure about.



314pe
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06 Nov 2017, 9:24 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I believe that statistically marriages are most likely to work out when the man earns slightly more money and the woman is the slightly better looking half of the couple ie she's an eight and he's a seven.

This is because in both cases the person feels more secure and is less jealous when they see themselves as contributing a bit more than 50% to the relationship. If they feel they are contributing a lot more than the other then they become dissatisfied.

A woman who is very beautiful (or thinks she is) may feel that her good looks are equal to his paying for everything, so for a while they both see the relationship as even. But as she ages the value of her contribution goes down and the wealthy husband becomes dissatisfied (cheats).

If a man is very wealthy he may feel as long as he is paying for everything he does not need to contribute to his partner in other ways eg respect, affection. Eventually the woman will often feel lonely. Rich people have the highest divorce rates.

It is the equality of the contributions to the relationship that appears to be the important element even if they do not necessarily divide everything exactly.

I find it interesting that the actions of NT's too appear dominated more by their insecurities than their strengths.


Ha Ha quoting myself.
I just re-read the start and realised it could sound like I think men should pay for everything and women look good. I did not mean this. I was using mens' money and womens' looks as examples of what we are most insecure about.

It's hard to compare who is contributing more to the relationship. All divorces happen due to different and often incompatible and always secret scoring systems in relationships.



314pe
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06 Nov 2017, 9:31 am

Outrider wrote:
Glad you understand.

And thank you for your personal example with you wife.

That's exactly what I mean. Young women who are raised spoiled by their middle class parents often expect their boyfriend to provide the same sort of lifestyle her parents did when it was really an illusion.

The only way he can provide that lifestyle for her is if he adopts the same reckless spending habits as her parents, then she and him will become just like her parents and do the same, live paycheck to paycheck and in debt even though they're both high earners.

And then the cycle just continues as each generation passes down these economic and financial habits to their kids.

I've seen a video where a grownup woman is crying because boyfriend didn't buy her an iphone soon enough. Guy in the video says that she should wait until the next model comes out (this was a few months ago).
EDIT:
I think I've found a link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mouaQtL5sk It's in Russian, but language of tears is international.



The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Nov 2017, 11:55 am

314pe wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Glad you understand.

And thank you for your personal example with you wife.

That's exactly what I mean. Young women who are raised spoiled by their middle class parents often expect their boyfriend to provide the same sort of lifestyle her parents did when it was really an illusion.

The only way he can provide that lifestyle for her is if he adopts the same reckless spending habits as her parents, then she and him will become just like her parents and do the same, live paycheck to paycheck and in debt even though they're both high earners.

And then the cycle just continues as each generation passes down these economic and financial habits to their kids.

I've seen a video where a grownup woman is crying because boyfriend didn't buy her an iphone soon enough. Guy in the video says that she should wait until the next model comes out (this was a few months ago).
EDIT:
I think I've found a link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mouaQtL5sk It's in Russian, but language of tears is international.



I couldn't play your video, but It suggested me this funny prank video instead:

It's in Algerian Arabic (I barely could understand myself, I wouldn't have understood a word without their use of French): the cashier asked the young lady (veiled in brown) to let the guy passes the water bottle because he's in hurry, she let him in and the cashier was like "Congratulations, you have won the big prize of 100,000000 dinar and a free travel to Istanbul!" check the reaction on the lady's face and her mom :lol: - she civilly objected to the reporter saying that they should give her a fair share of the prize because it was her turn, she was passing already her stuff to the cashier, and she was kind enough to allow him pass the bottle.

To be fair, I would have reacted the same, probably even more aggresively.



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06 Nov 2017, 12:45 pm

Outrider wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Who spends $4000 per year on bithday gifts? Or thousands of dollars a week on food?? Unless they have 10 children?

People who buy an iPhone for each of their kids (gotta have the trendy brand :roll: )


Brand new I phones are like $800 aren't they?

3 kids = $2,400 right there.

Hale_Bopp, welcome to Middle Class Australia.

iPhone X is over 1,000



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06 Nov 2017, 12:50 pm

This one I just find disturbing , he’s a mutural Match from Pof. She openly admitting she just use guys to get what she wants then throw them away and she’s a therapist

[quote]I'm a mental health therapist who also does drug and alcohol counseling. I was in the Marines and my ultimate goal is to work with veterans and their family so I can continue to help support my fellow service members! I'm not interested in sex at all. So don't bother. I am vapid and shallow, so if you don't look up to my standards, I'll just lie to you to get what I want till I've grown bored of you. I will not be your romantic partner AND therapist! I'm not going to talk to you like you are a client, but realize that I am knowledgeable and I can't/won't dumb myself down to appease someone so their frail or delicate ego isn't hurt. I want to be able to have a logical conversation with my partner. I also want to be able to relax at the end of the day and be able to laugh with my partner.



sly279
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06 Nov 2017, 12:57 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Outrider wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Who spends $4000 per year on bithday gifts? Or thousands of dollars a week on food?? Unless they have 10 children?

People who buy an iPhone for each of their kids (gotta have the trendy brand :roll: )


Brand new I phones are like $800 aren't they?

3 kids = $2,400 right there.

Hale_Bopp, welcome to Middle Class Australia.


$800? Maybe in America. We have to pay beach tax, remember?

Below is a recent listing of prices for late model iPhones from JB hi fi.

These are the phones the teenyboppers think are trendy. They ask their parents for them so they can keep up with what their high school friends have.

They're designed more to be fashion accessories than useful tools. That's why they cost as much as a designer handbag.

Of course if those prices are to expensive their parents might just buy them on contract but that might end up costing two or three times as much in the long run (phone contracts can end up being a tax on people who can't do arithmetic).

Image


Nope iPhones are around $800 for past models.
You don’t pay more here making making payments.
They take the price divide by 24 and that’s what you pay each month. Sure at the end of two years you paid more then what that phone cost then but you’re paying the same price of the phone if someone bought it day one outright.
Phones are micro computers that fit in your pocket. And they keep getting more advanced. That’s why they cost the same as a computer. Mines a tool. But I do like how it looks much like I like how my laptop looks or my guns or my drill. You can have a tool and have it look good. If anything most companies drive to make their tools also look good. I bought bosch drill cause it’s blue and otherwise as good as the other companies.