Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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Boo & Fnord You both know how looks do not maketh the man, right? There’s nothing more attractive than a man’s mind .... looks matter not!

Would it be unfair to say the romantic struggles those with ASD are likely to face are really just nature's best attempt to 'correct' these traits? For everyone who's struggling, there's no shame, you're doing as well as was likely based on the cards you were dealt; to everyone who's succeeding, congratulations, you're an abominable freak of nature and I commend you. We don't all struggle to the same degree, but many of the struggles are shared to an extent. Doing better than average doesn't mean that you just inherently struggled less, so successes do genuinely deserve to be celebrated.

Just like any other social animal, being coded with slightly different firmware seems to make a big deal to how well we can thrive in a population with which we seem to lack a basic level of compatibility, especially since NDs all seem to get their own unique test version, meaning we can't even assume we'll be more compatible amongst ourselves than we are in general.

Dear Mark, thanks for your message. So, from what I’ve read, you seem respectful and caring of women, and someone who does have a good heart. I can only say this from what I’ve read of you here. You have a strong desire to find someone. With that in mind, have you ever felt electricity with anyone? Ever connected with anyone enough to want to pursue them romantically? This virus lockdown business will ease gradually, and you will be able to date(if that’s what you really want to do) soon(even if online and phone-wise initially). I’m hoping that you’re not “accidentally’ self-sabotaging as quite a few men on the spectrum seem to do. Self esteem and depression/anxiety can really work against you when you want something and measure your self worth by your relationship success or lack of. The past is the past. Close the door on it. The sooner, the better. Starting completely afresh, as if you’ve woken from a deep sleep or in this case, a plague, and emerged to start a fresh chapter in your life, is a good start.

I’d like to think that relationships are best formed naturally, without pressure, and the best of them catch you when you’re least expecting, and just having fun, living your life from day to day, no expectations. If you’re not attracted to anyone at the moment in your current work/life/study situation, then meeting your future girlfriend involves broadening your horizons. If things haven’t changed in a long while, then by not making changes, you’re possibly falling into “acceptance” mode, thinking it’s never going to happen. If you can be proactive in joining new sites or getting yourself out there, once lockdown is eased, and portray that caring, fun, positive nature that has been kicked down in the past, but has decided to rise again .... then you will have increased your chances tenfold, of finding that someone. Confidence is attractive. A caring, sensitive, aspie man is hyper- attractive. Your mind is the key. As you’ve seen, men of all shapes & sizes attract the women of their dreams, and they don’t do that by speaking about the past. Their previous experiences, the times they were feeling defeated and any continual mention of past relationships or lack thereof, can work against them. The aim is to live in the moment and let be, what will be.

If you’re determined enough to not project that you’re a victim of the past, and can erase it from your chats with the woman or women in your future, you’ll be doing yourself a huge favour. Once you connect with someone, and discover that spark, you’ll want to pursue her and provided you do that in a positive manner, and ensure your interactions are fun and meaningful, not heavy with depressive thoughts, you’ll be off to a good start. Not saying you do that, but for any man, that would definitely be shooting himself in the foot. Whatever you do, if you genuinely want to share your life with someone, don’t just accept defeat. You are worth more than that.