13 Oct 2022, 6:52 pm
magz wrote:
Like what? A priest telling them it's a sin? Parents suddenly entering bedroom? A friend driving a drunk girl home?
I prefer the plushie
I prefer the plushie
The context where I hear it used the most often:
Woman A's female friend will talk smack about a certain guy who's interested in woman A. As a result, Woman A refuses to entertain the guy (even if she initially would have been willing to)
Woman A's friend essentially cock blocks the guy.
13 Oct 2022, 6:54 pm
Where_am_I wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Nobody EVER thought I was sleazy 
They just thought I was a little overbearing in me showing interest in them.
They just thought I was a little overbearing in me showing interest in them.
A lot of single women notoriously run rings around socially awkward men. If they don't measure up (which is most men) then there's literally a thousand ways to cock block a man.
Less desirable men are considered "sleazy" when they say "hello". Attractive well paid alpha types are "players" when they make a move.
How dare these women stop men they're not into from having sex with them!! ! !
What a sick world we are in.
Edit: I've been accused of cock blocking myself.....I definitely wasn't interested in having sex with the person that said this.
It's not the simple fact we get turned down that angers us.
Here's what angers us: The fact we're seen as sleazy for doing the same exact thing that would be seen as sexy if a smooth guy did it.
13 Oct 2022, 6:57 pm
13 Oct 2022, 9:24 pm
14 Oct 2022, 6:18 am
SkinnyElephant wrote:
magz wrote:
Like what? A priest telling them it's a sin? Parents suddenly entering bedroom? A friend driving a drunk girl home?
I prefer the plushie
I prefer the plushie
The context where I hear it used the most often:
Woman A's female friend will talk smack about a certain guy who's interested in woman A. As a result, Woman A refuses to entertain the guy (even if she initially would have been willing to)
Woman A's friend essentially cock blocks the guy.
This happened to me. I was in college but had just turned 24 (2nd degree) and this cute but slightly chubby 18 year old who had a somewhat sheltered upbringing saw me at a party and immediately took a shine to me. I mean she was coming by the house I lived in to bring me little gifts. I really liked her (she and my now wife had quite a few things in common) and it seemed at first a relationship was developing but then some "trusted older female friend" explained to her that I was basically a predator and soon she wouldn't even talk to me.
14 Oct 2022, 6:56 am
14 Oct 2022, 2:05 pm
MaxE wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
magz wrote:
Like what? A priest telling them it's a sin? Parents suddenly entering bedroom? A friend driving a drunk girl home?
I prefer the plushie
I prefer the plushie
The context where I hear it used the most often:
Woman A's female friend will talk smack about a certain guy who's interested in woman A. As a result, Woman A refuses to entertain the guy (even if she initially would have been willing to)
Woman A's friend essentially cock blocks the guy.
This happened to me. I was in college but had just turned 24 (2nd degree) and this cute but slightly chubby 18 year old who had a somewhat sheltered upbringing saw me at a party and immediately took a shine to me. I mean she was coming by the house I lived in to bring me little gifts. I really liked her (she and my now wife had quite a few things in common) and it seemed at first a relationship was developing but then some "trusted older female friend" explained to her that I was basically a predator and soon she wouldn't even talk to me.
Amazing. 24 and 18 doesn't make you a predator.
I get the impression certain girls from my school days might have been interested in me BUT knew their friends would never accept me.
14 Oct 2022, 2:10 pm
05 Dec 2022, 9:18 pm
SkinnyElephant wrote:
magz wrote:
My "creepy" radar beeps at desperate men.
Socially awkward ones who have otherwise interesting lives (plenty of them in the Faculty of Physics) are fine.
Socially awkward ones who have otherwise interesting lives (plenty of them in the Faculty of Physics) are fine.
A lot of socially awkward men become desperate due to the fact it's harder for us to succeed in the dating/sex game (compared to socially gifted men)
^^ THIS. This is absolutely 100% true. When you are disadvantaged by not having "NT privilege" where it's sexy to be secure in your own skin (and Aspies are punished for being themselves), then you naturally emit more desperate vibes that come out in your non-verbal - and I don't think it's just an Aspie thing, but if a man had some other significant disadvantage, he's probably going to manifest some signs of desperation. I think the Aspie disadvantage is, even if you don't feel all that desperate, women will conflate your "odd" presentation with desperation (e.g. improper facial expression, taking a joke literally, putting your foot in your mouth), as they see it as nervousness and that could only mean one thing.
I had to go through at least 20 dates before I realized that I had options, and then I became more nonchalant. It was a combo of rehearsal, reflection, and masking whereby my "new self" was more indoctrinated to attract women. Which worked for me but I always knew that I could have been more dating-effective and efficient had I been NT from the get-go
08 Dec 2022, 11:02 am
Most Neurotypicals dislike socially awkward people full stop. The solution is to find friends & a partner who is neurodiverse & understands
08 Dec 2022, 11:50 am
RiverLad wrote:
Most Neurotypicals dislike socially awkward people full stop. The solution is to find friends & a partner who is neurodiverse & understands
I wholeheartedly agree, but that is a lot easier said than done (especially if you’re straight!) due to the lack of neurodiverse community infrastructure.
28 Feb 2023, 12:03 pm
Zakatar wrote:
RiverLad wrote:
Most Neurotypicals dislike socially awkward people full stop. The solution is to find friends & a partner who is neurodiverse & understands
I wholeheartedly agree, but that is a lot easier said than done (especially if you’re straight!) due to the lack of neurodiverse community infrastructure.
Yes there's a stigma attached to social awkwardness; neurotypicals think that anyone should be able to navigate everyday social situations with ease. A possible exception is if you as a guy are in the presence of a buxom curvy gorgeous woman which even some NT men get a bit of anxiety over.
The trouble is that since us ASD men don't have "NT privilege", we have/had to deal with all the young lady's friends judging us and they can and do "vote us out" of being potential boyfriend material. But NT men can pass this friend scrutiny with relative ease.
Fortunately, I've been married for some time now and this hasn't been an issue, but I can remember when it was. I didn't have a label or diagnosis for the condition, but it was stigmatized all the same. IMO it's still stigmatized and not likely to earn any clemency; I expect the burden to mask and adapt to the "NT dating world" will remain 99% on Aspies.
funeralxempire
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Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,684
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28 Feb 2023, 12:42 pm
28 Feb 2023, 9:23 pm
I prefer socially awkward men.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,684
Location: Right over your left shoulder
28 Feb 2023, 10:32 pm
01 Mar 2023, 6:37 am
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