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Approaching someone in public

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cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 12:00 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
It seems like there's a double standard that men's loneliness/horniness deserves special consideration and that it's appropriate for them to blame women rather than take more proactive steps such as self-satisfying without blaming their desired dating group, and without feeling entitled to put their needs ahead of everyone else's.


Ok at the risk of getting my head chopped off. Yes women do experience loneliness/horniness. But, women seem to handle these issues better and also have (on average) stronger social networks. Men do have more testesterone > women and are likely to go more out of control and become aggressive in acting out on their frustration (on average). So their some biological aspect driving behaviour too.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Aug 2024, 12:03 am

Yes, it's true that men on average become more aggressive and act out their frustration in inappropriate ways. That's why this thread was created, to explain why some women are fearful of men based on their past/potential behaviour. If men are aware of their sometimes-dangerous nature then why do they blame women for being cautious?


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Aug 2024, 12:04 am

Just because women seem to handle loneliness and/or horniness better in some ways doesn’t mean that they truly do. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t struggling if they don’t talk openly about it. I think that, due to socialization, women are more likely to be internalizers than externalizers when it comes to this stuff which doesn’t mean that they feel less. Even if more women have stronger social networks, many don’t - that’s especially true for women on the spectrum.

Testosterone doesn’t mean that there should be a double standard or that men deserve special treatment.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Aug 2024, 12:47 am

cyberdad wrote:
So their some biological aspect driving behaviour too.



I think you're forgetting the fact women have sex hormones too, and their bodies prepare for sex/procreation every month of their adult lives even when they may not want children intellectually. Our hormones are connected to the moon and the tides. Horny and otherwise lonely women are a force of nature, but (on average) they manage to satiate their urges on their own.


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IsabellaLinton
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19 Aug 2024, 12:54 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Just because women seem to handle loneliness and/or horniness better in some ways doesn’t mean that they truly do.



Is it just me, or do you get the feeling lots of men think women are frigid/sexless?


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Aug 2024, 12:56 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Just because women seem to handle loneliness and/or horniness better in some ways doesn’t mean that they truly do.

Is it just me, or do you get the feeling lots of men think women are frigid/sexless?

Yeah, I often have that impression. It makes me want to talk about orgasms, but since this is in L&D and not Adult, I’ll resist the urge. :lol:



cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 1:36 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Testosterone doesn’t mean that there should be a double standard or that men deserve special treatment.


Ignoring underlying reasons and using the same approach isn't working
https://reporter.anu.edu.au/all-stories ... gnoring-it
https://www.aspistrategist.org.au/austr ... -ideology/

And those acting out are a tip of the iceberg, there's more young men who a penting up which is driving them toward the Andrew tates and red pill ideologies.



cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 1:38 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
So their some biological aspect driving behaviour too.



I think you're forgetting the fact women have sex hormones too, and their bodies prepare for sex/procreation every month of their adult lives even when they may not want children intellectually. Our hormones are connected to the moon and the tides. Horny and otherwise lonely women are a force of nature, but (on average) they manage to satiate their urges on their own.


Yeah but the social crisis we are having is men verbally and physically assaulting women. Going back to the topic, the biggest issue with a strange man approaching a woman is personal safety, It is not the other way around is it.



cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 1:41 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Is it just me, or do you get the feeling lots of men think women are frigid/sexless?


Yeah and I am reminded time and again not to talk about females as I am "uninformed". So I stick to discussion about males because I am male and that's what I am permitted to speak about on WP. You cant have it both ways.



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19 Aug 2024, 1:41 am

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Testosterone doesn’t mean that there should be a double standard or that men deserve special treatment.


Ignoring underlying reasons and using the same approach isn't working
https://reporter.anu.edu.au/all-stories ... gnoring-it
https://www.aspistrategist.org.au/austr ... -ideology/

And those acting out are a tip of the iceberg, there's more young men who a penting up which is driving them toward the Andrew tates and red pill ideologies.

It’s a good thing I’m not ignoring underlying reasons. A large reason why violence towards women exists is because of socialization. Once again, men don’t need to be treated differently because of testosterone. The notion that “boys will be boys” along with other toxic beliefs surrounding gender need to stop.



cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 1:42 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Testosterone doesn’t mean that there should be a double standard or that men deserve special treatment.


Ignoring underlying reasons and using the same approach isn't working
https://reporter.anu.edu.au/all-stories ... gnoring-it
https://www.aspistrategist.org.au/austr ... -ideology/

And those acting out are a tip of the iceberg, there's more young men who a penting up which is driving them toward the Andrew tates and red pill ideologies.

It’s a good thing I’m not ignoring underlying reasons. A large reason why violence towards women exists is because of socialization. Once again, men don’t need to be treated differently because of testosterone. The notion that “boys will be boys” along with other toxic beliefs surrounding gender need to stop.


According to psychology it's bio-psycho-social (not just social).



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19 Aug 2024, 1:44 am

There’s certainly a very large social component going on which is proven by the fact that most men, even lonely ones who haven’t had sex in a while, do not mistreat women. The social problems in society are what we need to be addressing.



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19 Aug 2024, 1:49 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s certainly a very large social component going on which is proven by the fact that most men, even lonely ones who haven’t had sex in a while, do not mistreat women. The social component is what we need to be addressing.

Just because some men who are devoid of sex don't carry biases against doesn't mean all men are capable. It would be nice but we both know that most men carry implicit bias. Best not to generalise huh.



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19 Aug 2024, 1:50 am

Biases are learned. That’s what I meant when I said that much of this stuff is the result of socialization. Obviously, socialization varies depending on one’s specific environment.



cyberdad
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19 Aug 2024, 2:04 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Biases are learned. That’s what I meant when I said that much of this stuff is the result of socialization. Obviously, socialization varies depending on one’s specific environment.


Agree, you can reduce the social impact through education. Is that the angle you are taking?



IsabellaLinton
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19 Aug 2024, 2:08 am

cyberdad wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
So their some biological aspect driving behaviour too.



I think you're forgetting the fact women have sex hormones too, and their bodies prepare for sex/procreation every month of their adult lives even when they may not want children intellectually. Our hormones are connected to the moon and the tides. Horny and otherwise lonely women are a force of nature, but (on average) they manage to satiate their urges on their own.


Yeah but the social crisis we are having is men verbally and physically assaulting women. Going back to the topic, the biggest issue with a strange man approaching a woman is personal safety, It is not the other way around is it.



I agree. That's what I've been saying.

Men are more aggressive and historically, they've demonstrated a sense of entitlement about their sexual urges. This puts women at risk regarding their personal safety even though men think we're being irrational to be anxious.

How have I disagreed with this, despite the fact I clearly stated I'm not afraid of approaching men in public (or in the woods with bears), and despite the fact I've been grievously attacked and assaulted by men?


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