Aspie dating success stories

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Even generalisations might still have an element of truth to them though. People should be allowed to mention this provided it's worded correctly and backed up with reliable research. Even being blunt like "People working in catering make less money than those in science" is also a sweeping generalisation but still true. Generalisations can be good provided they're backed up with facts and people take time to dig into the details.........which isn't going to happen here.

The typical day to day activity on WP it seems.

Making generalizations about gender is quite a bit different than making generalizations about some other topics. As with race, gender is a sensitive topic which is why we have special rules about it. It needs to be treated with sensitivity because, as with racism, some here have experienced sexism, sometimes to an extreme extent.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Oct 2024, 12:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Provided they're actually correct and proven to be true, they shouldn't be a big deal to discuss and that's the problem that keeps plaguing this website. I see some ridiculous reactions here even if it's a link to proven facts and nothing more, like with what Boo posted a couple of months ago.

It's safe to say, many people here don't even bother treading over a sensitive topic with care because people are numb to the hostile reactions now and don't see a benefit in doing so.

I didn’t have a problem with Boo’s thread and have even referenced it a couple times.

As far as some other threads/posts which incorporate research of varying validity, not everyone is going to fit into it which leads to members’ difficulties being dismissed and ignored. Research doesn’t mean much on an individual level. For example, citing research which seems to indicate that men, in general, experience more loneliness doesn’t mean that many women aren’t just as lonely, and yet, folks often use such evidence to do just that which makes this place toxic as f**k sometimes. Highlighting gender differences as far as human issues are concerned is often just completely unnecessary and exclusionary.

That’s fine if they don’t mind pushback, having comments edited or removed, or warnings.

Of course not everybody will fit into the research. It's the fact people keep arguing about not fitting into the research, any perceived but likely accurate generalization or observation that honestly gets childish. It doesn't mean that any research or likely facts about a large demographic are no longer accurate too. It just means that some people don't fit into it and nothing more.

As I’ve said before, such research is often used to further promote the notion that women have it easier which isn’t allowed on WP and, yet, still happens on a daily basis here and by certain frequent fliers who regularly have sexist posts and threads removed.

If it's true and what the research suggests along with anecdotal evidence then that's a problem with WP rules and not the posters themselves.

There are designated sites for folks to post the sort of stuff I’m referring to. WP isn’t one of them.

Since WP is a support site for folks with autism, this forum should be a supportive place for autistics to share their personal experiences and struggles. Instead, some people here won’t even talk about dating success stories without making generalizations and taking it to a sexist place which leads to WP feeling a whole lot less welcoming to women. Perhaps one post (or a couple posts) won’t seem like that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is more about the pattern of behavior that does not seem to change even when sexist posts and/or threads are regularly addressed by moderators.

^I agree. But I think we would like the people who make sexist generalizations to be able to air their concerns too, just without the sexist part and the gender generalizations, and that isn't really happening. From their perspective, they are just getting shut down over and over and lectured over and over with the same talking points. Can we make room for the frustrations and complaints of the people who are suffering in spite of espousing views that we don't condone?

There is always room on WP for people to air their frustrations or concerns, but if people incorporate some form of bigotry into their posts and threads, such as sexism, they shouldn’t be surprised if it continues to be addressed because it is triggering to some members and also against the rules.

And this is why nothing will ever change here. Childish "This is likely what's happening in this scenario or that scenario with this broad group of people but isn't for me, him or her....so I'm gonna shout at everyone" goes down like a lead balloon whether it's rules or not. And lets be honest, it happens constantly

^ Yes, the problem is people’s pushback to sexist behavior, not the sexist behavior itself.

I kind of agree, but it's happening on both sides of the argument. The sexist generalizations are happening constantly. And the lectures pushing back against them are happening constantly. Both sides are tiresome.

WP used to have a much bigger problem with racism, homophobia, and transphobia than it currently does. Those things were eventually addressed and fixed, mostly. That makes me believe that the problem with sexism can also be improved upon because IMO it’s intrinsically a different flavor of the same s**t.

Indeed this is actually the case. This is an autism forum, few of us fit into the norms, complaining about not fitting into typical norms constantly when someone mentions them gets tedious. I don't care about how inclusive or not it seems. People need to separate out their personal, individual stories from observations of an entire massive group.....clearly. If someone mentions a large group, they don't mean you, her or him specifically.

People should mention their own story and if inclined, address and ongoing discussion of an observation or generalisation seperatly as they're two different topics.

As Duck and Isabella mentioned in earlier posts, using qualifiers like “some” may be useful. Also, speaking about one’s own personal experience rather than making blanket statements could help with the ongoing issue with sexist generalizations on WP.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Oct 2024, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.