How many of you are adults and have never had a girlfriend?

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Despite this, the thing that many would probably consider weird is that I am not missing out on the sex but more of the affection aspect. The kissing, hugging and hand holding is what I crave more than the actual romp in the sack. I don't know if other Aspies relate to this but truthfully, my affection drive is higher than my sex drive.

Yeah I get all that daily from my kids. I think I could go without but it's something I like. I read somewhere that touching people releases Oxytocin which makes you feel good.
My little Autie loves cuddles I certainly hope he has someone to cuddle when he's older and we're gone.

I know those sensations, along with sweaty hand, racing heartbeat. I think its the knowledge in your head that you might get rejected, and all the feelings that will then rain down from that (humiliation, self pity, depression, rejection). I've had some success with slowing down my breathing, and then just going and saying it. Also remembering moments of terror from my past such as doing a presentation to a large silent audience..I was sitting at the front I thought there would be 10 people was 30, I was not prepared, I got up there and time started to slow down and I could hear my voice speaking like a monotone into the pregnant silence, stammering and utttering waffle..once I remember that then approaching one person seems so easy . Mind tricks on myself

it's the whole package that is to be desired. either one by itself is akin to the difference between "lightning" and "lightning bug."

Alright guys, here is the deal. I was afraid of girls for years, never could approach them etc. What i needed was to get laid. Start with a girl that's not surrounded by people. Talk to her, explore her interests and try to have fun with her. No matter what anyone says here about being happy without sex, no offence but unless you had it you don't know what your missing out on. Im was clueless about girl cues and sign language aswell. I still am! It's just that you gotta spend time thinking, logically analyzing her behaviour. It's not that hard.

Once you hit the right moment, seduce her and f**k the crap out of her. It's fun, most young girls want to have a blast with a man sometimes. If your penis is small, well stop feel pity for urself. You don't have to be big. Most girls don't care about it. Big usualy hurts. Ofc there are those that won't wanna be with you. But those are few. Most will enjoy anything. Use ur mouth, read a guide for licking her w/e. Just be good at what ur doing. Don't hurt her... make her feel good. It will boost your own confidence and u will havea great deal of fun / feel amazing afterwards. Try to talk to girls on the web, go out and havea a drink a friday eve at the pub, do anything. Just ask 1 of your nt/aspie friends to take you out if ur scared of going alone. Ask someone pro with girls to help you get one.

Once you meet someone u click with, whoop whoop ya havea realationship.

I went to special aspie school from the age of 10 to 15. Only boys. Was totally wrecking for me. Learned alot but also put distance to girls. Now a few years later im fine, just completing my science education. Got a girlfriend that's yummy and i love very much etc. PM me if you need help with girls or if you want tips etc of what to say / do. Im here for ya all bros.

Im from Sweden btw.

Really? I found it much the opposite. My first time I think actually set me up to not want to go out chasing at all.

Thanks to AsperherCH75's avatar, I'm trying to imagine Yoda macking on chicks.

Come here often, you do?

If that's the case then where is the harm?




lol

I don't have much experience with women but I would advise anyone else reading this not to take it to be strictly true

I've just turned 22 & have never had a girlfriend. I've definitely have had aquaintences, though.

I am turning 30 next month and never got a single date, not even a decent social conversation with a girl. That must be a record.

Speak for yourself.




I'm an adult and I've never had a girlfriend.

I second the recommendation.

So sad.

ahahah!

28 y.o

Never had a girlfriend at all.

I'm 34 and have never had a romantic relationship. I don't think I ever will. I've tried almost everything possible, but nothing works. It's brought me to the brink of suicide many times.

In our sexist culture, men almost always have to do the initiating. Which is especially cruel since there are probably more Aspie men than women. Women have the luxury of dating without asking out; men don't. A straight guy who doesn't ask girls out doesn't get any dates. I did it for 3 years myself.

My first date was as a college junior at 21. I first had sex just shy of my 27th birthday (and a whopping 4 times since, most recently in 2005). I've never had casual sex even though I always wanted to have a promiscuous period. If I were gay it'd be easier to find at least a casual sex partner; if I were a woman I'd have an easier time dating and not be so visually stimulated. But I can't change those; I'm stuck. I took a flirting class and still don't get it. The girls I like are already taken or not into/ignore me. The rare girl who likes me, I'm not attracted to. I can't choose who I or anyone else is attracted to, nor can I choose their sexual orientation, their relationship status, or whether they're polyamorous or monogamous. I've had 4 dates in 2011, which is more than I've had in any year since at least 2007. I had a kiss this year from a drunk girl who said she wanted to see me again then rejected me the next day. I had one last year with a drunk girl on Valentine's eve. I haven't made out with anyone in 4-5 years. The reminders of what I need are unavoidably around me, but I can't get it no matter what I do. I see no point to life without love or sex, yet my love life is almost entirely outside my control. I've seen 14 therapists for this over the past 15 years, and none can ever figure out why I can't date. We're stigmatized into silence in most of society, but there are actually huge numbers of people in similar situations, and this needs to start getting addressed as the public health problem it is and not just personal shortcomings of involuntary celibacy's victims. Did you know loneliness is more lethal than smoking? The experiences people value most are when they're alone with their romantic partner--but we don't get those. And people in relationships are happier and live longer. There are good reasons for that. Why should we have to suffer?