Why is it that the nice guys finish last?

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Have any of you been woken up in the middle of the night by your own mother high and looking for cash for her next fix? Have any of you had to stare down a dealer when they pull a gun in your face because you did not want them to give drugs to your mom? Have any of you had to go get your mom from the hospital because the person she was with wanted more money for drugs and my mom refused, so he cut my mom's ring finger off and took the rings to sell. Throwing the finger in the woods, leaving my mom to bleed to death on the side of the road? One of the rings was the ring my Dad gave to my mom and I will never get it back.

So until people walk in my shoes and see what I have seen because of drugs, don't preach to me how wonderful drugs and meds are. They bring nothing but pain.

I can still say those meds meant to help, they are different than what the pushers would have sold your mother. They are totally different. No one is gonna come after you for using them. How do you know an anti-depressant would bring you nothing but pain if you haven't even bothered to talk to a psychiatrist about it. you need to learn the following. THE EXPERIENCES OF YOUR MOTHER BEING AN ADDICT TO ILLICIT DRUGS THAT ARE CONNECTED WITH CRIME DOES IN NO WAY MEAN THAT ONES THAT ARE MEANT TO HELP YA, THAT HAVE BEEN PRESCRIBED TO YOU BY A PROFESSIONAL ARE GONNA CAUSE YOU TO FOLLOW THE SAME PATH, OR EVEN MAKE YOU COMMIT SUICIDE LIKE YOUR OTHER STORY.

To me perscription meds and rec drugs do the same thing. Both are totally artifical and designed to make you feel things that you are not really feeling. Same thing, same result. I have seen what drugs do to people close to me. Nothing good can come from drugs.
If its rec drugs or prescibed meds, you ard still depentant on them. You still are not the real you when on them. One type is legal. The othet not.

Now here is where we differ in opinon, ken... I don't see all drugs as a bad thing. Certainly that example of people that have to take blood pressure meds is proof enough. But, on the other hand, I still think therange too easily recommends drugs for things that should be dealt with in other ways. Drugs that just help with medical conditions (aka your blood pressure) are fine, but drugs that change your identity are not. I am who I am, and I'm not about to let some drug make me not be me anymore.

Dependency and use are two different things; if you can't see that difference, I'm sorry. Any therapeutic medication should allow you to work on yourself and help you make changes. Yes, there are side effects. But you've latched on the worst-case scenarios and believe that this is the status quo. I'm sorry for your experiences; I'm also sorry that it seems you've allowed them to dominate who you are instead of dealing with them. You're not your mother, and you need to make decisions based on who you are and not your memories.


M.

That said, things that happen when you're young can have a big impact on your outlook on life later. Traumatic experiences, especially, can be amplified by a great amount when experienced by a child who doesn't have all the life experience of an adult. If your mother (as a user) was killed by a drug dealer while you were a young child, you would probably have a negative outlook on drugs as well (unless your mother got you hooked on them as a kid)...

I'm not trying to defend Ken's statements as undeniable truth (because they aren't), but I can understand where he's coming from with that.

Toad, what you have to realize is, this current version of you ISN'T the real you. Your perception of reality is flawed because of your chemical imbalance.

I'm also in no way saying pills are a cure-all. All the medication does is allow you to see things more objectively and allow the real you (the person you would be if you weren't blinded by negative thoughts due to a chemical imbalance) to make the real decisions.

I get the impression, however, that unless you were heavily medicated, you would fight it and wouldn't allow the medication to do what it's supposed to do.

Also, women don't like downers. This isn't opinion, this is fact. Women like guys that love life and know themselves. They don't want guys who are miserable. So basically, you're just making your situation worse by refusing help.

I've personally have had good luck with drugs like beta blockers. They give you that little extra push toward not letting your over-analytical mind hold you back. As far as abusing drugs, I had a sister addicted to heroin, so I understand the dark side of mind-altering substances. However, most of the problems came from all the dangerous people & lifestyle involved with that drug. I have yet to find the same kind of culture involving perscription pills that don't get you high.

From my perspective, a statement like that is very similar to ones that Jenny McCarthy and her ilk would make about autism in general. You say that the "real" me is hidden underneath a chemical imbalance, much as she would say her son is "hidden" under the autism. You're effectively saying I'm flawed because I don't behave in the same manner as NT's would in the same circumstances, and, to be honest, that really sounds condescending...

I am who I am, and while I agree that I could use a bit of work on making myself a little more presentable to the world, my identity is part of who I am; it's not something that can just be swapped out like a piece of software.

I'm not talking about your Aspergers or your interests, I'm talking about your negative, self-defeating thinking. You seem to think that you'd take a pill and all of a sudden be this guy that's unfamiliar to you. The only difference would be that the negative thinking would stop...and like the last poster said, you wouldn't overthink things to death, and if you wanted to do something, you'd do it.

That's actually a big thing that I'm afraid of. My tendency to "overthink" things comes from my own attempts to cope with being too overly impulsive as a child. And when I say impulsive, I mean violently impulsive. If I remove that protection now, there are going to be real legal ramifications.

I'm not against the idea of getting therapy. I'm actually in the process of working with my mother (since im on my parents' insurance plan while I'm still in college) at finding a therapist that will work with our insurance. But I want to remain in control of my own thoughts because I'm afraid of the destructive potential my thoughts are already proven to posess, and if a drug is going to make me lose control, I don't want any part in it. (that's also why I rejected numerous attempts at people to get me to drink or take recreational drugs in high school and college)

This thread has deteriorated to a platform for a debate for self defeating attitudes and drug use. It was actually interesting, before this! Isn't this what is known as a thread hijack?

Whoever said it earlier has it right. Guys who complain "nice guys finish last" aren't nice guys. They're whiny, annoying, hate women and life itself, and are the first person to say "Women are gold-digging b****es." Just because they don't have a criminal record or have violently laid their hand on a woman doesn't make them nice.

QFT!

There are of course a few kinds of depression/negativity, which my current therapist has explained to me. I can just detail them real quick.
-The chemical imbalance sort: the kind that we have been discussing for the longest time and which has derailed the discussion from the actual topic. can usually be improved/solved with meds, and sometimes even as little as a diet change.
-Situational: The kind not brought on by the chemical imbalances, the ones usually brought on by bad situations like losing a job, your place of residence. Having friends/family die, stuff like that.

My therapist and I have identified which type I am with it, and it is neither of the above, Mine tends to be more of a philosophical construct of my own that can be used both for positive and negative, but my problem with it is ill use my philosophical beliefs as a crutch/excuse. Beliefs in question? I am pretty much a cynic, skeptic, realist, and a existentialist or fatalist. Mine isnt even cause by a chemical imbalance, and as for me not smiling, I have under-developed facial muscles. Yet even if I explain why I cant smile, people still have to be f*****g asshats about me not smiling (like for a picture)

I blame my relationship issues on polarization and the fact that the Southern Baptists stigmatize everything--otherwise, I wouldn't have the criteria I have.