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How to improve your chances with women.

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Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 12:43 am

katzefrau wrote:
Bataar wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
there will always be women who will prefer someone else, and if you sit around beating your head against a wall because someone who is nothing like you isn't interested, you're just going to make your head bleed instead of solving anything.


But is there someone out there that would prefer me? I'm sort of with Bataar on this one... if a woman likes me, then something is just wrong with her...


as long as you feel that way you put yourself in the "i wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member" bind. you won't respect a woman who likes you anyway.

Toad, you have to work on your self-esteem somehow. everyone has flaws and everyone has assets. find what you treasure about yourself. right now even if you had a woman in your life, the negative view you have of yourself could ruin things.

It's not a matter of just having low self esteem or being depressed, but rather being able to recognize reality and not live in denial. I can't speak for Toad, but it seems he and I are in agreement. I've read about what attracts women, what they look for in a potential date/boyfriend/husband and I don't have anything to offer in those areas. I don't need low self esteem just to recognize reality.


you insult women and you insult yourself when you say that.

we're not robots and we're not all the same.

if the world is out to get you, no one is going to talk you out of it. it's not denial to think well of yourself; it's a responsibility you have to yourself. it's denial to think the world imposed the negativity on you.

ron jeremy is the ugliest man alive and he gets laid all the time.

don't even tell me it's due to his penis size, either. no woman wants something the size of a house pet inside her. 8O

i'm gonna go wash my brain out with soap. yeccch.

Ron Jeremy is also a celebrity, probably has a lot of money, and his social status is probably very high. I can't offer a woman any of that.



nthach
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30 Nov 2010, 12:48 am

Bataar wrote:
I'm good at Magic the Gathering. I can build and design my own winning decks. I do well in Magic tournaments. I'm also good at strategy/war board games. I pick up and understand the rules easily and am able to play well. I'm good at video games. Not multiplayer/competitive games, I don't play those. I play single player, story driven games. None of those have ever provided me opportunities to meet women. None of those provide me with subjects I'd be comfortable talking about with women met in "everyday" type situations.

Magic's for kids dude. Wake and smell the coffee. You need to go out and socialize more.



katzefrau
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30 Nov 2010, 12:57 am

Bataar wrote:
Ron Jeremy is also a celebrity, probably has a lot of money, and his social status is probably very high. I can't offer a woman any of that.


celebrity and status and money aren't real attributes.

you're playing a game with yourself you've rigged so that you will always lose.


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Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 1:02 am

RICKY5 wrote:
Bataar wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Bataar wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
there will always be women who will prefer someone else, and if you sit around beating your head against a wall because someone who is nothing like you isn't interested, you're just going to make your head bleed instead of solving anything.


But is there someone out there that would prefer me? I'm sort of with Bataar on this one... if a woman likes me, then something is just wrong with her...


as long as you feel that way you put yourself in the "i wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member" bind. you won't respect a woman who likes you anyway.

Toad, you have to work on your self-esteem somehow. everyone has flaws and everyone has assets. find what you treasure about yourself. right now even if you had a woman in your life, the negative view you have of yourself could ruin things.

It's not a matter of just having low self esteem or being depressed, but rather being able to recognize reality and not live in denial. I can't speak for Toad, but it seems he and I are in agreement. I've read about what attracts women, what they look for in a potential date/boyfriend/husband and I don't have anything to offer in those areas. I don't need low self esteem just to recognize reality.


Self esteem shouldn't be to do with a potential date. Thats why its called Self Esteem. It comes from within. Are you not good at anything? Sometimes I feel like that. It is a sign of depression also.

I'm good at Magic the Gathering. I can build and design my own winning decks. I do well in Magic tournaments. I'm also good at strategy/war board games. I pick up and understand the rules easily and am able to play well. I'm good at video games. Not multiplayer/competitive games, I don't play those. I play single player, story driven games. None of those have ever provided me opportunities to meet women. None of those provide me with subjects I'd be comfortable talking about with normal women.


What do you do for work?

I work in IT doing tier 1 server support. My team consists of 22 employees, all male.



Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 1:04 am

nthach wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I'm good at Magic the Gathering. I can build and design my own winning decks. I do well in Magic tournaments. I'm also good at strategy/war board games. I pick up and understand the rules easily and am able to play well. I'm good at video games. Not multiplayer/competitive games, I don't play those. I play single player, story driven games. None of those have ever provided me opportunities to meet women. None of those provide me with subjects I'd be comfortable talking about with women met in "everyday" type situations.

Magic's for kids dude. Wake and smell the coffee. You need to go out and socialize more.

Kids might play it casually, but it's definitely a game geared towards adults. The average age person at a 400+ person professional tournament is probably around 26.



Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 1:05 am

katzefrau wrote:
Bataar wrote:
Ron Jeremy is also a celebrity, probably has a lot of money, and his social status is probably very high. I can't offer a woman any of that.


celebrity and status and money aren't real attributes.

you're playing a game with yourself you've rigged so that you will always lose.

They aren't real attributes, but they go a long way in attracting women.



katzefrau
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30 Nov 2010, 1:16 am

Bataar wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
Bataar wrote:
Ron Jeremy is also a celebrity, probably has a lot of money, and his social status is probably very high. I can't offer a woman any of that.


celebrity and status and money aren't real attributes.

you're playing a game with yourself you've rigged so that you will always lose.

They aren't real attributes, but they go a long way in attracting women.


only shallow women who will not like you for who you are.

why think of impossibilities?
think in possibilities. you are making a choice not to.


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hale_bopp
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30 Nov 2010, 1:16 am

Bataar wrote:
I work in IT doing tier 1 server support. My team consists of 22 employees, all male.


Ok so you have a pretty good job for a start. Theres something you can be proud of.

Bataar wrote:
I'm good at Magic the Gathering. I can build and design my own winning decks. I do well in Magic tournaments. I'm also good at strategy/war board games. I pick up and understand the rules easily and am able to play well. I'm good at video games. Not multiplayer/competitive games, I don't play those. I play single player, story driven games. None of those have ever provided me opportunities to meet women. None of those provide me with subjects I'd be comfortable talking about with women met in "everyday" type situations.


Go to a gaming forum. I've been on them for years. Lots of women there. Better yet, become a moderator on one.



nilescrane
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30 Nov 2010, 1:28 am

The problem most Aspie men are going to have, regardless of interests, is that even most introverted/shy/quirky women like to socialize and get out of the house.

I can personally provide entertainment and good conversation to degree. I love to dine out...even if it's just lunch at panera, or dinner at a restaurant, and I enjoy everything about it...the food, atmosphere, conversation. I also love to shop in general, even just window shopping and browsing. And when I leave the house, I'm very particular about dressing well.

But I wouldn't have much to offer in terms of independence or stability...no driving, no place of my own, no job, emotionally unpredictable (I can be fine for 6 months then randomly have the worst day of my life because my meds aren't working like they should), no interest in having kids, can't handle sudden change (arguments or a break-up.)

So I guess for those reasons, I'm more realistic and learned to be happy being single and just occasionally date a woman who is just looking to have short-term relationships.



Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 1:30 am

katzefrau wrote:
Bataar wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
Bataar wrote:
Ron Jeremy is also a celebrity, probably has a lot of money, and his social status is probably very high. I can't offer a woman any of that.


celebrity and status and money aren't real attributes.

you're playing a game with yourself you've rigged so that you will always lose.

They aren't real attributes, but they go a long way in attracting women.


only shallow women who will not like you for who you are.

why think of impossibilities?
think in possibilities. you are making a choice not to.

It's not really a shallow woman thing. Say there's a gathering of people. One guy is obviously the center of attention among a large group of people. It's obvious that a lot of people like him, he has the attention of a lot of people just by being nice and outgoing. He's buying rounds of drinks for a lot of people and is dressed very well indicating he probably has money.

Now, there's another guy who sits/stands by himself, is quiet. It's fairly obvious that he's uncomfortable in the situation he's in. He's not bad looking, but has no real social presence. I'd bet quite a few dollars that the vast majority of women in that room, shallow or not, would be far more attracted to the first guy than the second guy.



nthach
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30 Nov 2010, 1:36 am

Bataar wrote:
nthach wrote:
Bataar wrote:
I'm good at Magic the Gathering. I can build and design my own winning decks. I do well in Magic tournaments. I'm also good at strategy/war board games. I pick up and understand the rules easily and am able to play well. I'm good at video games. Not multiplayer/competitive games, I don't play those. I play single player, story driven games. None of those have ever provided me opportunities to meet women. None of those provide me with subjects I'd be comfortable talking about with women met in "everyday" type situations.

Magic's for kids dude. Wake and smell the coffee. You need to go out and socialize more.

Kids might play it casually, but it's definitely a game geared towards adults. The average age person at a 400+ person professional tournament is probably around 26.

Still though.



menintights
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30 Nov 2010, 1:37 am

Bataar wrote:
Now, there's another guy who sits/stands by himself, is quiet. It's fairly obvious that he's uncomfortable in the situation he's in. He's not bad looking, but has no real social presence. I'd bet quite a few dollars that the vast majority of women in that room, shallow or not, would be far more attracted to the first guy than the second guy.


So does that mean you'd pick quantity over quality?

If there's a woman in the room who likes the quiet guy even if he has no real social presence, what does it matter that the vast majority of women aren't attracted to him?



Bataar
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30 Nov 2010, 2:57 am

menintights wrote:
Bataar wrote:
Now, there's another guy who sits/stands by himself, is quiet. It's fairly obvious that he's uncomfortable in the situation he's in. He's not bad looking, but has no real social presence. I'd bet quite a few dollars that the vast majority of women in that room, shallow or not, would be far more attracted to the first guy than the second guy.


So does that mean you'd pick quantity over quality?

If there's a woman in the room who likes the quiet guy even if he has no real social presence, what does it matter that the vast majority of women aren't attracted to him?

I'm just trying to show that it's not true that only shallow women would be attracted to the first man.

As to your second statement, that's just it. There has to be a woman in the room who's attracted to the quiet guy. In my experience, that has never been the case.



nilescrane
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30 Nov 2010, 3:03 am

Most young NT women don't want the quiet guy. My brother is NT and has model looks, kind of looks like Simon Baker from The Mentalist or Wayne Gretsky...and he only started getting women (beyond just being checked out) when he became much more outgoing and smooth.



Subotai
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30 Nov 2010, 3:26 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Go to a gaming forum. I've been on them for years. Lots of women there. Better yet, become a moderator on one.


Random fact.
I know someone who married a girl he met on a video game forum.
So I guess this must be good advice...



hale_bopp
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30 Nov 2010, 3:48 am

Subotai wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Go to a gaming forum. I've been on them for years. Lots of women there. Better yet, become a moderator on one.


Random fact.
I know someone who married a girl he met on a video game forum.
So I guess this must be good advice...


I know.. well, more than 20 people who have hooked up with others off a gaming forum. 20 is probably at the lower end.

I know two couples that got engaged and married off gamewinners.. there will likely be more I don't know. I know a sh*tload of people who hooked up off a local gaming forum.