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Rejected by eHarmony dating site? (Poll)

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Were you rejected by eHarmony?
I never applied to eHarmony 56%  56%  [ 50 ]
Yes, they rejected me 21%  21%  [ 19 ]
No, they accepted me 22%  22%  [ 20 ]
Total votes : 89

Grisha
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21 Dec 2010, 11:01 pm

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"if you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. if you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. if you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. then i'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape."


Now I've got that song stuck in my head - thanks a lot... :evil: :wink:



Moog
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22 Dec 2010, 12:29 am

What's wrong with yoga? :P


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nthach
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22 Dec 2010, 12:31 am

Moog wrote:
What's wrong with yoga? :P

Nothing. Except good yoga studios and "yoga clothes" are freakin' EXPENSIVE...



Kilroy
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22 Dec 2010, 12:33 am

ThomasL wrote:
Has anyone else been rejected by the eHarmony dating site?

They ask you a whole bunch of questions to determine if you're suitable to meet people on their site. I'm pretty sure their questionnaire is designed to weed out people on the spectrum, or introverts in general.

Isn't this discrimination? Who are they to judge that a whole segment of the population is unworthy of love and happiness?

Or is it simply the truth that some of us are doomed to live the rest of our lives alone, or at least with the kind of intimacy that most people take for granted?

Would love to hear your thoughts... please comment.


yeah a lot of people don't like strange, introverted people who are often prone to throw tantrums if they don't keep to a schedule or something
who'd have known?!



JazzofLife
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27 Jan 2011, 1:25 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
I am an extroverted (very) NT woman. About a year ago, I signed up for EHarmony. I didn't like their matching system. They matched me with men who were utterly incompatible with me. I was a member for less than a month and I cancelled.

I know what I want and don't want in a viable romantic match! I prefer dating sites that allow you to pick your matches. EHarmony has an incredibly tedious matching process that is unproductive. For me it was an utter waste of time and money!


I was on EHarmony for like six months (six months too long, by the way), and well, I wasted all that money and whatnot, thinking I was going to get as much out of it as I might have. I didn't. Was a big joke, and I'll never be back there.


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Technikilor
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27 Jan 2011, 1:41 am

Yuck.



Asp-Z
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27 Jan 2011, 11:36 am

Image

eHarmony are too fussy I say :P



Northeastern292
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29 Jan 2011, 4:35 pm

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I think their model is to take the easiest matches and drop the even slightly difficult ones, in order to keep their "80% successful" (or whatever it is) reputation going.

So, I wouldn't take eHarmony's philosophy as God's Will or fate or whatever. It's just their ethos (and business model) to focus on the 'super-normal' people and not on others. (Personally, I don't think I could manage with someone who doesn't have a least a few hardships in common with me, anyway.)

I remember seeing once site set up specifically for "eHarmony rejects" to gripe about eHarmony. Some people even re-signed up with fake names and tried to figure out which answers to which questions would eliminate a person (like does being an atheist automatically cause rejection?). I can't remember the details, but I remember it was kind of interesting.


I've had mixed feelings on the subject. Turns out one of my mom's gal pals' set up a fake account on eHarmony, and no one behold, a girl who has had bad luck dating is now married! Honestly, I wouldn't give a cent to Neil Clark Warren, since he's associated with many extremist fundamentalist Christian groups.

P.S. I should add that my mom's gal pal is agnostic, and I guess they allow them as well.



Northeastern292
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29 Jan 2011, 4:43 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Image

eHarmony are too fussy I say :P


In a way, yes, but then again, I apply that to the whole fundamentalist Christian community.



wefunction
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29 Jan 2011, 4:47 pm

Once upon a time, I was accepted by eHarmony. They gave me a bunch of tech guys. I guess they were also anti-social types who don't need to talk every single damn day. LOL

Ironically, my NT husband had tried eHarmony and was rejected.

Thankfully, we met each other in a general education class in college, so there was no need for a computer to tell us if we were good enough for each other or not.



Jet102fm
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29 Jan 2011, 6:48 pm

No, they accepted me once I took the quiz- I found out this wasn't my site, though.



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07 Feb 2011, 5:24 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
I had a hard time finding even the names that I did, didn't mean to leave anyone out though.

.....kinda surprised I'm doing this but...

abductedbyaudio (after the Kodwo Eshun essay by that name)

...also yes, my front profile pic is BAD. Hopefully I'll come up with some better ones to replace it.


On another note the more I look at this I'm wondering if Alex should contact OKCupid and see if they are willing to do a WrongplanetSubCupid or something like that, they might love the idea for access to organizing niche communities. I might be jumping in a little quick on that, but, I'm sorry - Aspie Affections has none of this and the best part Alex wouldn't have to change a thing I don't think.


I was literally talking About an Okcupid like aspie site recently. that'd be awesome.



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07 Feb 2011, 5:25 am

hyperlexian wrote:
*gulp* i'm shocked by how cute everyone looks in their pictures! 8O you know who you are. wow.

on a side note, i convinced husband to join, and we are a 89% match (thank goodness it was not too low). interestingly, there are a couple of women who i get a 95% match with, and he gets a 92% or 93% match with those same girls! so both of us match more closely with these hot... bisexual... girls... than with each other! :oops:

he told me he didn't mind if i put up his username too: borealbooks

lastly, can i just say that in my opinion online dating is really sexist, in the way that men are expected to contact women first? i find this absurd and old-fashioned and completely unfair. it must suck if you are a shy male. /rant


I never thought that was how it was supposed to go?? why are you on a dating site if you have a husband? for friends?



ShadesOfMe
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07 Feb 2011, 5:30 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
(hyperlexian is secretly wishing that more people would post their OKCupid usernames because this is fun to compare match percentages. but she also knows that people may not want to expose their identity in a public forum. so feel free to send a PM if you want to indulge her silliness!)


Okay, but first let me clarify that I didn't make the account to meet people, and, ah, hadn't really intended on anyone seeing "my" profile. Also, OKCupid took away my mushroom self-portrait, which I think really brought the whole thing together. :cry:

I am haynowbrowncow. Now, what is your own username?

i'm thisbegins.

we are a 53% match, good golly!


yours isn't showing up?



ShadesOfMe
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07 Feb 2011, 5:36 am

alright, enough reading. here are my stats with you guys


I've got Greenturtle74 94% laz at 93% Volodja 91% Spongy 84% Moog 74% Kaybee 71% techstepgenr8tion 66%


Here is mine. ignore the mostly empty profile with no pic. I'm not good with those things. SleepingRabbit



spongy
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07 Feb 2011, 11:27 am

ShadesOfMe wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
*gulp* i'm shocked by how cute everyone looks in their pictures! 8O you know who you are. wow.

on a side note, i convinced husband to join, and we are a 89% match (thank goodness it was not too low). interestingly, there are a couple of women who i get a 95% match with, and he gets a 92% or 93% match with those same girls! so both of us match more closely with these hot... bisexual... girls... than with each other! :oops:

he told me he didn't mind if i put up his username too: borealbooks

lastly, can i just say that in my opinion online dating is really sexist, in the way that men are expected to contact women first? i find this absurd and old-fashioned and completely unfair. it must suck if you are a shy male. /rant


I never thought that was how it was supposed to go?? why are you on a dating site if you have a husband? for friends?

She mentioned at the start that she joined just to test the compatibility thing.

Im answering (knowing that this wasnt directed to me)because its very unlikely that she is going to answer it herself(she had some sort of dissagreement with a few users on L&D and shes taking a break but she still answers pms so in case you are interested you can send her one).


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