how important are looks to you in a partner?

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Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 2:27 pm

Grisha wrote:

Quote:

Maybe he's like me where he communicates and projects confidence easier online than in real life. Having the internet as a shield is really helpful. >.>

That is definitely true, the Internet is 100% verbal (in most cases) and you can carefully consider what you say before you say it, which reduces the anxiety caused by my limitations in "real-time" communication.

Here I can just be the "real" me. Too bad you can't cuddle with an iPad...

I know right? I wish I could pause time to have enough time to think of proper responses for things. >.<

Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 2:55 pm

Erisad wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.

It IS! That might be my saving grace.

Grisha - Well, you could start working out and eating more protein to build some muscle if you wanted to gain weight if it bothers you. Just so you know, there are girls that like tall and thin. One of my besties is marrying a tall, thin and nerdy guy because they love each other and he treats her well. And the fact that he has a wicked sense of humor and can cook like a boss doesn't hurt either.

But I do work out, I've sacrificed my entire living room to build a fully equipped free-weight gym, including a full-size power rack for leg development. My diet is 60% protein. I lift religiously 3x/week. I am very satisfied with my strength gains, but I am an extreme ectomorph and I struggle to put on any significant mass.

Just like everything else, I am committed to being the best I can be in this regard, but everyone has their limits.

Then I dunno what to tell you. Have you talked to your doctor about this? >.>

Yes I have, all sorts of tests were performed. I am perfectly healthy, it's a cosmetic, not a medical problem. Anabolic steroids would certainly help, but the gains are only temporary - have you seen Arnold Schwarzenegger lately?

The main thing is I know I have done (and am doing) everything I can, I'm afraid I will always look more-or-less like I do now, but the health benefits are excellent and it's worth doing just for that reason...

I think I'm going to be alone for a long time, no need to keep whining about it.

Erisad
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24 Feb 2011, 2:58 pm

Well being healthy is definitely a point in your favor. Maybe you can meet a girl at the gym or rocking climbing, something like that. She'd appreciate someone who can keep up with her.

Mark198423
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24 Feb 2011, 3:10 pm

b9 wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Mark198423 wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

but all the good guys are usually taken, and for good reason, the rest of us get the duds who treat us like crap.

There are alot of single guys on here, does that make us duds?

ahhh.... ya so weak.
it seems to me that most males here are completely subordinate to females. it is like females have the last word on everything.

it is like some males come in to this site all trembling with desire, and with a raft of apologies memorized to say if the girl is disinterested in them because they see girls as so superior to themselves and they want to save their face from the molestation of rejection.

i could not give a damn about what any girl says about me. i really could not, and every day i live, the sun shines, and it shines upon me no less than anyone else.

what i am trying to say is that no matter how you see yourself, you are as deserved of the suns rays as anything else in the solar system.

feel as important as you are.

feel important and you will spend your energy in a way that is productive and when you awaken into the next day of the product of your eagerness, you will be happy you did not squander your energy the day before.

sleep is paramount however and i am going to sample some right now.

I had to bring this up as a post of this type in reference to women would be immediately attacked. Taking offence has nothing to do with being subordinate to women.

simon_says
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24 Feb 2011, 4:53 pm

Looks are important but I have my own criteria, as does everyone else.

At some point I figured out that I was a nose man. I knew it insticntively and would often comment on women's noses but had not thought about it consciously until someone pointed it out to me. Might have something to do with the way AS people break down things into component parts. The AS woman who wrote Pretending to be Normal also has the nose attraction thing.

Volodja
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24 Feb 2011, 5:41 pm

Grisha wrote:

Quote:

Maybe he's like me where he communicates and projects confidence easier online than in real life. Having the internet as a shield is really helpful. >.>

Same problem here. I can talk to women fine (I think!) online but when it comes to RL it all goes to s**t lol

Like today I had to talk to this woman I have a massive crush on and I got all tongue-tied and made a complete tosser of myself. Definitely not cool!

It applies to non-sexual/romantic relationships as well. I even find it easier to communicate with family on facebook for example. It's kinda sad really

Grisha
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24 Feb 2011, 5:48 pm

Quote:

Like today I had to talk to this woman I have a massive crush on and I got all tongue-tied and made a complete tosser of myself. Definitely not cool!

It applies to non-sexual/romantic relationships as well. I even find it easier to communicate with family on facebook for example. It's kinda sad really

Sorry to hear about that, I hate it when I do that too.

Maybe next time I'm on a date I'll just text everything to her even though she's just sitting on the other side of table... :wink:

hale_bopp
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24 Feb 2011, 6:11 pm

If you don't treat women like sh*t, then you're not a "dud who treats women like sh*t", I thought that would have been clear, sorry.

The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Feb 2011, 6:20 pm

I always had the impression that looks is the most important first-impression feat. Maybe it's not important for maintaining a relationship but at least to start it , it's the 'entrance door'.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 26 Feb 2011, 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Esther
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25 Feb 2011, 1:59 am

Gremmie wrote:

I actually mostly agree with this... If a guy was significantly taller he could probably get away with it, but I'm never really attracted to guys who seem smaller than me. It's probably because my brain then makes me feel like a hippo in comparison... :oops:

I know what you mean, Gremmie. The problem is I find slender or fit guys attractive, but am too self-conscious about my weight to even think about a potential relationship with them (other criteria having been met). That I can only be confident and parlay that confidence into attraction from the opposite sex if I look like such and such. I always wondered how I got my ex to marry me. He was always a 10 in my book and obviously I'm not the only one who thinks this based on the females who came before and after me. I always imagined people gasping in their minds, “He's married to her?!” Where's ApsieGuy when you need him?

So I've decided that I won't even consider the thought of dating until I can project both inner and outer confidence. Because I know low self-esteem is a repellent. In conclusion, this means that I will be voluntarily celibate for, uhm, 4 more years? :wink:

Moog
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25 Feb 2011, 9:05 am

Grisha wrote:

Erisad wrote:

emlion wrote:

I still think a killer sense of humour is the most attractive thing, ever.

It IS! That might be my saving grace.

Wow, really? You must be worse off even than me. I thought I had problems putting on muscle.

That stuff about girls not being into guys who are smaller than them rings a bell. I'm about average height but I've always been slight. The majority of women I meet probably weigh more than I do.

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Mark198423
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25 Feb 2011, 2:11 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

If you don't treat women like sh*t, then you're not a "dud who treats women like sh*t", I thought that would have been clear, sorry.

When you said all the good guys are taken that implied you were talking about all of us so isn't really clear!

I'm not wishing to stoke an arguement here, I just think if men have to watch what they say then so do women. Nothing against you personally.

Mark198423
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25 Feb 2011, 2:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I always had the impression that looks is the most important first-impression feat. Maybe it's not important for maintenance a relationship but at least to start it , it's the 'entrance door'.

Definitely!

Volodja
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25 Feb 2011, 3:56 pm

Looks aren't the only thing that's important when it comes to relationships, but for me they do come first. I mean you can usually tell whether you find someone physically attractive straight away, whereas you need to get to know them for the rest to come.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Feb 2011, 1:26 pm

Looks aren't important.

[img][800:768]http://surrealiststreetgang.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/girlz.jpg[/img]

Yea , right.

CoalBogey
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26 Feb 2011, 2:05 pm

Looks are important to me, so I'll take the second girl from the right please. :batman: :elephant: :albino:

(Joke...)

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