Shaming Tactics against males.

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Piss take must be kiwi slang.

If someone is taking the piss, it means they're laughing about something and joking about it. That's what a piss take is. Someone copying something, but doing it in a laughing and joking way.

Yeah the guy sounds smart and observant, he doesn't sound like someone who spends all his time alone on his computer. He has actual real-life experience that puts into his reflections...... He is explaining the way he sees things. I think he speaks the truth, if you bother to watch his other videos what he says makes sense.

It isn't a bad starting point as far as motivation goes. It is still too much of a bleak look at life in general, and he is somewhat bitter he isn't one of "those alpha guys", as I am sure most guys here can relate as well.

Some things he says is slanted, and other points seem legit. Whenever anybody brave enough to speak their opinions does so, of course people are going to disagree, belittle, call them victim's this and that. I have seen quite a bit of that on this forum specifically when anybody posts a video from youtube. God forbid something somebody says might have some sense in it.

You can beat someone up, bully them, spit on them, degrade, and then call them "victims" figuratively sh*****g on them again. Some people are going to learn from that and become MMA fighters or at least strong enough to stand up for themselves, and alot of people aren't. There are so many different complications and variables in something like that.

Black and White thinking is calling him a victim. He is brave for speaking his mind, and he sounds comfortable with who is. He doesn't have many solutions, or much suggestions for how to improve which are things, so he ends up being a negative outlet, and then that negative energy is going to fester. So no I don't think he is a genius or a Jesus

Anyway this is my opinion and I don't care what most of you think, because you only think in black and white. Even if you really believe I am completely wrong and you are right. My disagreements with the opposite sex were based on fact more or less assumed fact. I have seen an overwhelmingly majority more of men/boys? myself included who have trouble crawling, and I have seen more women/girls in relationships. And "guys don't have trouble finding relationships, only sex" statement which was complete air, and implying that sex is the only thing guys are looking for. I don't have to go in the hypocritical-ness of saying that and then calling what I said sexist, and agreeing that I am a troll. That was all I was disputing. And the personal attacks against me, when this was supposed to be a meaningful debate of logic.

I have always said that I beleive both have it equally as hard overall. I do not think in black-and-white. It is frustrating that people here do not, and it makes for a painful 1-side debate.

And I am suprised OP has been suspiciously silent this whole time. Later

thanks for that!

He sounds like a pseudo-intellectual to me...one of those people that has heard a few buzz words and can string them together to sound like he knows what he's talking about. Of course he is explaining things the way he sees it....through the lens of his own self-victimization.

Let me clarify here. Those who can rightly call themselves victims (assault victims, sexual abuse victims, rape victims, victims of racism, of homophobia, of sexism, etc) have quantifiable evidence that can be pointed to as proof.

The self-victimizer creates the evidence in his or her mind. How can one tell that this dude is self-victimizing? He's twisted the generally good action of people giving him advice into a negative 'shaming tactic'. You see how that is damaging? Now whenever anyone gives him advice, he feels more victimized, more angry, and feels more justified in pursuing any course of action in defending himself. This negative reinforcement is how rapists, sexual abusers, and others (tyrannical regimes, on larger scales) are spawned, though it may not happen specifically because of people giving good advice.





The 'alpha/beta' paradigm is a charade, a canard with regard to humans. And even if it were true, look what he does with it? He becomes bitter because he feels he can't be one of the 'alphas'. He resigns himself to his 'genetic fate'... this is another self-victimization trap. He can blame all his troubles on some inviolable trait and never has to examine his own controllable failings. As humans, we hate to take responsibility, to admit fault.




People say things that make sense quite frequently on here. In my few months here, I've learned a fair bit from posters.

The only thing that makes sense in that video is his judgement that society is f****d up. I agree. But nobody is going to change society. Wishing others behaved differently so you don't have to change is naive at best, and at worst a recipe for suicidal depression. Be the change you want to see in the world. That is the least, and perhaps most powerful, thing anyone can do. Complaining and preaching to the self-victimization choir will change exactly nothing.




Yes...this is quantifiable, evidentiary abuse. I'm not sure the point of this in the context of your argument.



I'm NOT calling him a victim. Far from it. He isn't a victim. But HE thinks he's a victim -- that's the self-victimization I outlined above. Is he brave for speaking out against an imagined foe? I guess from his point of view his is brave...but it's the sort of bravery conspiracy theorists claim to have when they 'dare call into question the authenticity of the moon landings.'



If everything I've written above demonstrates black and white thinking to you, then I have no answer for you. I disagree with your presumption of facts...but I'll humor you. Let's say you have access to facts that everyone else has access to. I have these same facts as well, and yet I have not reached the same conclusions you have. I see more commonality between the sexes, I see the same difficulties. Hmmm, somehow I've taken a different path than you...why is that?


EDIT: and no, I didn't bother to watch the rest of his videos. Eight minutes of his harangue is all I needed to see because I've seen and heard this same line of convoluted thinking before.

RIght. That reminded me of Gattaca. A movie about a man who has second class unmodified genes but who learns to pass for one with first rate genetics, through extreme effort. At one point he's beating his genetically enhanced brother while the two are swimming a race in the ocean and his brother asks how he is doing it. He says, "because I never saved anything for the trip back".

The OP's video is excusing failure so as to justify not making that effort.

You are not who one of people I was talking about. You have made some good counter-arguments. You obviously aren't thinking in black in white.

What I meant victim, is people calling him a "wannabe victim" as in a wuss, a man with no balls. He never actually calls himself a victim, nor do I consider him a victim.

What he is saying, is that he recognizes that the "game" is rigged. There are guys with more "attractive" genetics/aspects of "them" and whatever you want to call it. Some guys have AS or OCD or many other conditions. If this hinders your ability to socialize, or puts others at an unease for whatever reason, that will not be considered attractive generally. We have part of the proof on this forum for example. That is life. He is pointing that out. He isn't quitting, and he isn't resigning himself to be alone. I think he has a gf if I am not mistaken.

If you watch his videos, he tells about his experiences, which don't include never leaving the house.

Yes his channel is more negative in general, but he isn't whining either

When he says advice like "be more confident" is useless, its because they are, and he is frustrated. I am frustrated with advice like that too, because it gets you nowhere But so many guys and girls if you indulge on dating issues will say this exact phrase.

Again where does "confidence" come from? How do you attain confidence? What does "confidence" mean? In what context? There can be many interpretations of this word. One can be confident in doing a single activity, and some people can be all-around "confident' in everyday life.

Does "be more confident' mean you have no balls? If a confident guy was being rejected, you wouldn't tell him to be more confident?

To you lot he might look like a "victim" and hes whining, but to me he looks like someone who is comfortable with himself and his activities. He is pointing out that some will be more attractive than others. That is a fact and that is life. He is speaking his opinion. Good for him. I haven't heard much of anything positive from you people either besides the same played-out rhetoric, but we are all in the same boat here.

IMHO, merely saying what you happen to think isn't all that admirable. Anyone over the age of 10 who has a brain and thinks at all should be able to do that much.


Talking about what the various sides are saying or have said is not really useful. Neither is merely describing your opponent's argument as "played-out rhetoric". I could describe your argument as "played-out rhetoric" without bothering to support that idea in 2 seconds flat. Would it do any good? Nope.

If you think someone's wrong about something, don't tell me how wrong he/she is, show me and let me come to the conclusion myself.

I guess I really don't care anymore then. I don't think what I say makes sense, so I don't care whether you or anyone else agrees or gets what I am saying anymore. I have already expressed my points of logic and counter for their counter-arguments. I was having a debate, and then attacked personally, called a troll, and heard some completely ludicrous statements. I already talked about all of that. I am convinced of what I was saying, but I don't think I can convince you, so I am going to stop wasting my time. Getting involved in discussions like these are a waste of energy. Real talk

That guy is speaking what he believes. I believe some of it makes sense. It is a controversial subject. At least give the guy some credit for having the courage. If you don't have anything to contribute, then don't judge.

His video was about about wasys society shames males, and just the fact that people are shaming him calling him a "victim" or a cop-out/weak willed is kind of ironic. In my mind that exactly proves his point. Society does shame men.

Oh God Boo, what have you started?

I cannot let this last point stand unchallenged. You don't seem to realize that I never called him a victim. That is a crucial point. I never called him a victim because he isn't one. Now that is different than how he is trying to characterize himself -- he is characterizing himself as a victim. You must understand the difference here between being an actual victim of an event and pretending to be one. He is pretending -- or more accurately, he's convinced himself he is one.

And for the last time, giving someone advice isn't shaming. That is what is so twisted about this video. Not only twisted, but it's a psychological trap. Because now, anytime someone tries to help him, he'll consider them a threat. This dude sincerely needs to see a psychologist (oops, I guess, in his mind, I've just shamed him again, when I was trying to help).

The Apocalypse.....

*Phew!*..... so it only means this, I thought you are fond of giving golden showers.

I hysterically wore my scuba suit for nothing.

And you have misunderstood what I have said again for the tenth time. He isn't categorizing himself as a victim, but people are saying he acts like a "victim". That is completely different from calling him a "victim", which I apologize for the misunderstanding from the way I worded it.

The whole point of what he was saying, was that men are getting shamed. He is using the language of common "suggestions" as his points of analysis into explaining why he feels this way.

You don't have to agree with what he is saying, but I do have an issue with people saying he has a "victim complex" again, not calling him an actual "victim". Inferring that he has a "victim's complex" is a shaming tactic. It is clear that he doesn't.

He isn't preaching give up, and he isn't a quitter. If you watch any of his other videos or read his channel, he participates in society, and has a social life. I personally don't want to spend too much time on his channel, because it is negative, and unhelpful if you subscribe too much to that.

If this same video came from someone with love-shyness or extreme anxiety/computer dweller, it would turn out very different. You can clearly see he isn't a bitter old depressed guy. But yes it is more negative, and it isn't helpful. I see it more as intellectual talk for older people. It certainly isn't advice or coaching, so in that regard it is unhealthy to subscribe to it anymore than acknowledging that it makes sense.

I see it for what it is, some sense. Don't shoot the messenger.

Well he certainly has a right to feel anyway he wants. But when well-meaning people give him well-intentioned advice and he twists that into being shamed, he is on a dangerous psychological path. And he may not characterize himself out right that he is a victim, but his very language is that of the self-pitying false victim.

I hesitate to do this because of misunderstanding, but I'm going to give an example from my life anyway. I've mentioned on here before that I'm friends with a woman who's anorexic. When I'd first met her (and was trying to woo her), I didn't know she had anorexia. We'd go out as friends, and after awhile I realized she didn't eat much. I then proceeded on various occasions to make off-hand remarks to the effect: "You should really eat more"...or I'd say other things less obvious in a similar vein like "This is really good, you sure you don't want any?"

Turns out, these sorts of words made my anorexic friend feel ashamed. She'd get the same sort of shaming effect when doctors tried to help her.

And let me be clear here as well. Anorexia is a very distinct, well-studied psychological issue with sufferers who can genuinely be called victims with all the sympathy due such a designation. Very different than this dude in the video.

This dude in the video is feeling shamed when people are trying to help him too, and by language meant to help. That is a dangerous psychological trap. If one doesn't see that, then I'm at a loss for words.

The difference was in your example was you didn't know until later that she was anorexic. You were not trying to help her cure her disease, because you didn't know. She didn't ask you to interfere with her problem. You were trying to get her to eat, the logical move because for some strange reason she wasn't. You admit that you do not have an understanding on anorexia. Therefore your language wasn't helpful, and made her feel uncomfortable. You said what anybody would say. She felt uncomfortable because she has heard phrases like that her whole life no doubt from everyone. Again she didn't come to you asking you for help, you suggested it on your own accord from observations you made.

More of less though well meaning, common suggestions on dating are same. Everybody is different on the inside, and some people have real-life mental afflictions as well. Be it anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, AS, OCD, Schizfrenz, etc. How about telling someone with real life issues, with a body wired differently that reacts much differently in stressful situations to just be "more confident".

This guy specifically must have asked friends, potential girlfriends that may have friendzoned him, other guys, dating websites, etc. in search of helping guidance. The language that he got in return was anything but helpful, like I pointed out.

A victim is someone who never asks for help. If this guy never said a word and kept all of this to himself, then he would be a victim. He is speaking out about what he consider an "injustice" a certain un-fairness about dating standards of men vs women that is in REALITY preventing alot of guys from finding partners. It is not a myth

NO it ISN'T the most manliest thing to do, and he risks being called "inferior", "Wuss", a "Loser" a "Quitter" "Not a Real Man", because YES to an extent, it DOES look like he is whining. He is going to be shamed for talking about what he talks about. That ironically was the point of video, a trend that society does in fact do. The attitude an opinions on here just condemning him about his opinions have proven that. Of course he knew that this would happen, but he speaks out anyway.

The girl you spoke of I assume she was diagnosed and seeking help for anorexia. If not, and it bothered her, then yes she would be a victim. If she was able to ask for help and follow-through, then she isn't a victim.

He's posting a series of videos on the internet. Presumably he can handle some commentary on his opinions. If not then he should stop posting videos on the, you know, internet.

In the "wow" thread you have a video of a woman offering a different perspective where the commentary seems to focus on the quality of her plastic surgery and the possibility of older women having STDs. I'd say your friend here is getting off easily.

Welcome to the internet.